Friends started ghosting me after I got roofied -- How do I cope?
So, before I share what happened, I would like to state that I am seeing multiple therapists weekly to help me process. I see someone for EMDR treatment (I was diagnosed with C-PTSD) and someone to help me improve my self image due to me being raised by a narc parent (a whole other can of worms). This is a throwaway account.
A year ago, in June 2025, I was roofied while I was at a karaoke bar with some friends (among about 50 strangers or more). These friends varied between the ages of 19 and 26 (I was 30 at the time and the 'group mom'). I knew these people through a niche hobby we share and spoke to many of them daily if not weekly. I was also a volunteer for 4 years. Dedicating a lot of time and my own money to help with things.
I don't know what happened. And I don't know how I got roofied. But I did, and I have the test results to back it up. I misbehaved and could only listen to the second-hand stories of my 'friends' who also were under the influence at the time. I do know I misbehaved. I made some outlandish claims about a friend of mine (I told him he was in love with me, while he is in a Long-term relationship and his partner was also there), I got upset when a good friend refused to kiss me a peck and I touched another one on the arms, back and head while they were uncomfortable with it. I fully acknowledge that I made people uncomfortable and upset. And I would have never done this if I had been 'present'. But I wasn't. And because I came across as 'sober' and 'coherent' they thought I was. I left early to go home because of my pets, and apparently they discussed it when I wasn't there. Deciding then and there that I had done everything while being sober and with intent.
This escalated when they made complains at the board of our niche hobby. Getting me banned for a year without anyone giving me a solid reason. I know this sounds weird, but I asked what the accusations were and to have a talk about it. But the board refused. Stating they weren't going to share any details to protect those who made claims.
The story spread to others within the community. And people I have known for 6 to 10 years started to distance themselves from me. Removing me off social media without even talking to me nor me having said anything. Even someone I considered a close friend ended up removing me off instagram. Eventually a good 20 or so people have distanced themselves from me or even blocked me without having spoken to them.
I'm trying to not let it get to me. I'm trying to see that this is just something people do whenever they don't want to confront something that makes them uncomfortable. Opting to ignore it instead and hope it goes away. But I just feel like I'm being thrown aside like trash. Like I never mattered to people. Like 1 bad evening that I can't even remember destroyed YEARS of my life. I went so far as to blame myself for it, but my therapist keeps telling me that I am just 'too kind and giving' and I tend to take blame even when it's not due to my upbringing. She says I always have others best interests in mind. And I know I do. But all of this does make me feel like I am somehow the villain in all of this.
I'm really trying to move on. Trying to stand up for my boundaries and my self-worth. But it's hard. My psychologist says I'm basically grieving the loss of a family. The loss of safety and community. And we'll start therapy to process that grief soon. But I just wanted to see if people have gone through similar things. And I am just wondering if people have advice.
Thank you. And for whoever made it this far: May your pillow always be soft and fluffy and your socks dry and without holes.