My (F25) childhood ex/friend (M26) just got married, but he’s using his commutes and when his wife is out to try to have phone sex with me. I feel sick.
I need some outside perspective because I feel incredibly grossed out and honestly a bit shocked right now.
My "ex" and I dated for about a year when we were 15 years old. We haven't been together in over a decade, but we stayed "friends" who would occasionally call to check in on each other. He started dating his current partner in university and they just got married last year.
For a long time, he has made comments flirting, telling me he'll always be attracted to me, saying he loves my voice and wondering what intimacy with me would be like.
He did this before he got married, and he is still doing it now.
I've started to realise, in the last couple of years, a pattern of him only calling me when he is driving (which feels like he's just using me for safe, untraceable entertainment during his commute). But over the last couple of days, it escalated terribly. His wife wasn't home and he called me trying to initiate "phone intimacy." He was asking me to spell out what he wanted me to do to him and talking about how we "never got our chance" to be intimate while we were together.
Tbh I froze. I was super reluctant, but out of shock and old history, I stayed on the phone instead of hanging up immediately. Now I feel disgusted. He acts and seems like a nice guy but I feel horrible for his wife who has no idea her newlywed husband is treating me like a secret fantasy hotline the second she is not around. I also feel like he's completely exploiting our history and treats me like an ego boost
I'm no longer confused. I know he's a cringey, validation seeking cheater, but I'm struggling with the guilt of having stayed on the line, even though I didn't want to.
How do I permanently shut this down after knowing him for so long. How do I handle this?