AITJ for continuing to try being friends with someone who clearly doesn’t want me around
I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out because I genuinely don’t know if I’m making things worse.
There’s this girl at my school who I’ve kind of been trying to become friends with for a while now. We’re not close or anything, and honestly I don’t even know if she considers me anything besides annoying, but I noticed her earlier this year because she’s always alone. Like… always*.*
I’m not saying that to be dramatic. She eats alone, works alone, leaves class alone, everything. She’s really talented too. She draws a lot and her artwork is genuinely beautiful, but nobody really pays attention to it except teachers sometimes.
The thing is… people at school aren’t very nice to her.
Nobody physically hurts her or anything, but people whisper about her a lot and make jokes and exclude her. Sometimes people say things right in front of her like she isn’t even there. I never participated in it, but I also never really stopped it either, which I know probably makes me a coward.
I think that’s part of why I started trying to talk to her in the first place. At first it was small things. Complimenting her art, asking about books she was reading, stuff like that. Eventually I started looking for her during breaks just to say hi or sit with her for a bit.
Sometimes she’d answer really shortly. Other times she’d just stare at me like she was waiting for me to leave.
I figured maybe she just needed time because I know people can be guarded when they’ve been hurt a lot socially.
So I tried not to be pushy.
I invited her out a couple times to do normal girl stuff with me and my friends, like shopping or getting coffee, but she always said no. Usually pretty coldly.
One time I complimented one of her drawings and she asked me if I was making fun of her.
I honestly didn’t know what to say after that.
Another time I sat next to her during lunch and she got up and left halfway through without saying anything.
I know she doesn’t owe me friendship or attention or anything like that, but lately I’ve started wondering if my trying is actually selfish somehow. Like maybe I’m only bothering her because I want to feel like I helped someone.
I also wonder if maybe she hates me because I’m part of the popular crowd at school, even though I’ve never done anything to her personally. But at the same time… I also didn’t stop other people when I probably should’ve, so maybe I’m not as innocent as I want to think I am.
The reason I’m posting this now is because yesterday I tried talking to her again after class and she looked genuinely upset when she saw me coming over. Not angry exactly. More like exhausted. So I just apologized for bothering her and left.
Now I’m wondering if I should stop trying completely and just leave her alone, even though part of me feels really bad doing that because I don’t think anyone else checks on her at all.
AITJ?