u/Equivalent_Coyote_50

So i know and am sure we need to spend time apart. I don't know if its fully over for me or if we just need to take time apart and then reconnect.

But basically we have been tg for 2 years and the relationship is very clearly not well balanced. When we first met and started dating it wasnt as obvious but has just got worse and worse.

So a description of my boyfriend in this relationship would be, he loves doing physical things for me/ for my family like helping fix things around the house, making tea, bringing presents. He messages me very often and always makes time for me. He listens when i have something to say and always tries his best to understand. These are all of the good things obviously that make him wonderful in my opinion.

Then a description of me in this relationship would be i love having conversations and spending time together and i love being silly. Not as much recently, but i usually like making little cute gifts and stuff like that. I am also quite direct, and always assert my boundaries which makes everything very easy and theres no anxiety for him to ever have to wonder if something bothers me bc i will always say and we talk it out and all good. Again these are the positive things in my opinion.

So from that information i feel like its such a great relationship and even tho what we bring is different its still somewhat equal. But the problem i'm experiencing is that its very clear to me that he considers me to be more important than him, and over time ive started also seeing myself as more important than him. (important is prob the wrong word im just using it for simplicity)

Its little things like how i really value my own personal time, i really love hanging out with and talking to my friends about stuff etc. And then with him he would prefer his time spent with me than his own personal time, and he would prefer to talk to me over his friends. So that already in itself kinda sets an imbalance of im a higher priority for him than he is for me.

But its not only that, but also often he will mention how hes not very smart or hell back out of speaking because its "dumb" or hell bring up how im smarter than him a bit too often. And how i always mention if he does something i dont like/hurts me/i find disrespectful, and he doesnt mention the same if ive done something to him. So its often where im having to pay extra attention to if im treating him how i would like to be treated, because i know he wont bring it up and will just let it slide.

And obviously for a while this is fine like for a certain amount of time it wasnt that bad but after 2 years its become quite draining. I dont check myself as much anymore because its hard to treat someone kindly and respectfully when they dont give me any input on what they consider to be unkind or disrespectful. When "bad behaviour" isnt mentioned and is just let to exist this line of what is actually bad becomes blurry and gets pushed back. Its got to a point where ill be with him and ill notice myself do something and think "wow i would never say/do that to a friend".

I have obviously spoken to him about this a few times because every few months i see it rly clearly how im not treating him as respectfully as i treat everyone else and i need help with that. A few months ago (maybe 3?) i was reallllly upset about it crying to him telling him that i am not happy with how i am in this relationship and i really need help because if it keeps going on like this im just going to continue to learn this bad attitude and that its okay to treat him this way and it might go so far than i cant turn back.

He always says hes going to work on his confidence and his boundaries etc but nothing ever really happens. I understand, because you cant just change that because someone asks you to and its probably unfair for me to ask in the first place. So really i see the only way for us to get out of this dynamic is to break up.

Because the relationship has always been this way just slowly getting more and more imbalanced, its kinda got to a point where we are stuck in these roles of less and more important person. So even though i would like to fix it, i see him and myself reinforcing the idea because we are just so used to it.

But basically the advice i need is do i let this go and move on completely, do i leave it open for a chance for us to reconnect and try again after spending time apart and resetting the dynamic?

Also what do you suggest i say to him? If anything, even if we will never be together again i would at least like to leave him with something positive, something that can maybe push him to break out of his shell and grow some more confidence.

TL;DR:

my bf has me on a pedestal in the relationship and its got to a point where we cant really reset the dynamic while still being together.

returning player

i kinda just need some advice on which team to target for now or what characters/light cones to look out for.

my teams rn:

Acheron E0S1, Pela E6 resolution <- im hoping the new blade can replace her?, Jiaoqiu E0S1, Fu xuan E1 trends

Kafka E0 tutorial mission, Black swan E0S1, waiting for hysilens, random sustain idk

The herta E0S1, Serval E6 passkey, Tribbie E0 dance!x3, random sustain idk

then i also have some other E0S1 characters:
Castorice
Silver wolf lvl 999
Jing yuan
Seele

then the other E0 charas i have:
Luocha
Dhpt
Jingliu
Dr ratio
Ruan mei
Topaz
Phainon
Huohuo
Archer

and then i have all the standard 5*s too obv

but im currently not clearing the last level in all 3 end game contents so i defo need to make my teams better.
im F2P btw so nothing crazy but i normally have good luck and i have like 100 pulls saved rn.