So, 60 days without masturbation, without porn, and without any other spicy content.
Turns out, the easiest part was quitting the videos and the physical relief. I just didn’t go to those sites, just didn’t touch myself. Pretty straightforward.
The hardest part is fighting the intrusive thoughts. The worst one is, "Why am I even doing this? I was doing great! It was so much fun, anytime I wanted!"
Honestly, I still can't answer that, but it's still early. My brain hasn't rewired yet, but I'm on the right track.
On the positive side. I don’t feel addicted anymore. I got rid of that bad habit of doing it first thing in the morning, which was bothering me most. I took back control of my own life and time and that’s the big one.
Other than that no superpowers here. I haven't become a better person, I'm still just me. But the time I used to spend hunting for content, I can now spend on something more useful. For example, I've been picking up a book or my guitar more often, and I got back to learning a language (but not super seriously yet). The big obstacle is still smartphone addiction, but that's a different story. I'll deal with that later.
Another problem is intrusive fantasies. Before, I used to entertain myself with them when I was bored. I'd imagine stuff, daydream. Try to stir up that pleasant feeling of arousal. Edging in the mind. It's really hard to fight because you can't just turn it off or block it. In the end, I feel like I'm getting close to beating this too. Recently I thought – okay, let's say I give in to the fantasies, let the fantasies flow, and then what? Yeah, I'll be super turned on. But I'm still not planning to start masturbating, I don’t want to do it. So what's the point? Why do it? Just to torture myself? I'm not into that. So now I understand that if a fantasy comes, I just notice it and let it pass.
My main advice overall is – you need to find a fun activity or hobby. This is really hard. No other thoughts will give you that quick, sudden hit of dopamine. Unfortunately, that's the reality we have to fight. It's very hard to get excited thinking about how soon you'll learn a new melody on the guitar. The level of joy is totally different. But you still have to try to find something to switch your brain to when it gets tough.
What helps is realizing you're becoming better. If alongside abstinence you're also working on yourself, like exercising or learning something, it gives you a nice boost.
Sex has changed too. It's become more sensual and passionate, but shorter. I don't see anything wrong with that, and my partner doesn't either. But it happens more often and can be multiple times in a row. No complaints there.
So if I made it this far, you can definitely do it as well. You've got this. Stay strong brothers!