u/Equivalent_Grab_5746

I need a lot of help right now, but honestly the biggest thing is figuring out what to even say to my managers that I basically ghosted a couple months ago after taking a short term leave. I have been let go from those jobs but with other personal things going on, I need to find a job ASAP and I know continuing to avoid it is only making things worse. One of those jobs was somewhere I had genuinely hoped I could eventually get a letter of recommendation from my manager, but after isolating myself for this long I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.
Part of this time I really was out of the country, and helping family, but another big part of it was me struggling mentally and emotionally in ways I did not know how to explain or communicate to people. At the same time, I know I cannot exactly mention my diagnosis or trauma dump professionally which honestly makes figuring out what to say even harder. I do not expect to get those jobs back and that is not really what I am looking for. I just want to clear the air, take accountability, and hopefully not leave such a negative impression if future employers ever reach out to them during the hiring process. And honestly, if there is any chance of salvaging a professional relationship or recommendation in the future, I do not want to make things worse by continuing to disappear.
I am so disappointed in myself. When I worked there I was a good employee but the depression crept in and has just taken control of me for the last few months. I loved my job and hate myself for continuing to ruin my
life and any opportunities I have.