I [18M] ended it with my girlfriend [18F] of four months because she’s a porn addict.
To the mods, this is not a breakup post because I don’t think this is final. I’m asking for advice on how to go about this for the next few weeks.
I met her in school. A mutual friend of ours gave her my socials, she followed me, and I did the rest. We didn’t click personality wise that well, but I thought she was out of my league and she thought I was out of her league. We hit it off. Early on it was clear we were serious with each other. She had some mental problems, as did I, and we acknowledged and helped each other with that.
This became our first serious relationship. To be honest, I was scared to death of the adult aspects of being in an adult relationship. I had quietly quit porn when we had started talking, as I considered it cheating and thought it would do no good for my sexual health. Eventually, after about a month of dating I saw a porn notification on her iPad and told her how that’s a boundary for me and she can’t watch that if she wants me to feel secure in our relationship. She agreed, apologized, and moved on.
A few months in we were even more deep in love, or, at least I was. I believe she loved me a lot but not as much as I do her. Due to finding out about her porn addiction I became deeply insecure about my body and if I would live up to her standards in the videos she watches. I explained this to her and she comforted me, but brushed it off saying she didn’t care if I didn’t. We were both new to any sexual experiences and were learning with each other. She was insecure as well. At one point she’s over at my house. I go through her iPad. I find more porn, and this makes me angry. I wait until she gets home to confront her with it over the phone partly because I didn’t want to ruin the day and partly because I’m pussy lol. I don’t remember exactly what transpired from this, but we made up and she apologized.
I was certain I was the past the point of young infatuation and I had fallen deeply in love. We talked about our futures what are kids would look like, that type of stuff. Well. I go through her twitter again about a month later and, not really to my surprise. I find a porn video she liked. She said it was an accident, she was trying to scroll and accidentally liked it. Although I didn’t believe this, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and moved on.
Yesterday was the end. We were approaching our 4 month and where going strong. She asks me to bring her phone. I pick up the phone, and lo and behold, there’s a Twitter notification. I had made her delete Twitter from the previous times, and she agreed to keep it off her phone. I confront her about it, and she refuses to give me her phone to check out what’s on it. Later, when I call her I ask her to screenshare. Yes I find more porn. She lies to me about how it got there. She continues to lie even when I threaten the relationship. So, I tell her if she lies to me again it will be the end of the relationship. She does. I block her on everything.
I really really really love this girl. She was the perfect girl for me expect for her addiction. She went through something when she was younger, and I let her know if she ever struggles with it to tell me and I’ll work through it with her. She never told me. I miss her a lot but I know I can’t let myself get walked over. I know she still loves me but she seemed to more or less accept what’s happening. If someone wiser than me could give me some sort of advice I would love that. As my parents are sort of airheads. Lol. Thanks
TLDR; my girlfriend of four months couldn’t kick her porn addiction and I had to break up with her because of it, and now I miss her a lot.