r/relationshipadvice

So she watched the show before we got together. I never knew this until season 3 came out and she started watching it. When the season came out she would watch it while I was in the other room and when I would come to bed she would turn it off. Didn’t find it weird at first but then one day I told her I was going to stay in the bed room and she said “aw man I was going to watch euphoria tonight”. I replied by just saying why can’t you watch it while I’m here. She pretty much said she isn’t going to allow me to watch it because it’s a “bad show”. I didn’t question it at first but I looked the show up and it has LOTS of nudity, male and female. Fast forward to a few nights ago and I ask her why she is allowed to see the men in the show but I can’t see the women. She started a fight over me saying that which I guess I could have worded it differently. Now tonight I mentioned it again and she just laughed and never actually answered me. I feel something but I’m not sure what it is. I don’t like the fact that she watches it and sees all that but I can’t watch it with her. I’d like advice on how to understand what I’m feeling and conveying them to my GF.

So I probably already know what majority of the answers will be but I thought I would give myself a peace of mind.

My boyfriend and I have been arguing lately because on some days I will say I want to have sex later or that I’ll give him head later but then when later comes I have now changed my mind and don’t want to do it.

He gets very annoyed and upset over it and says I shouldn’t be making those “promises” if I’m not going to follow through. I have of course tried to tell him that I am completely within my right to change my mind if I am no longer feeling that way but then he gets adamant on the part of me “teasing” him for something that won’t happen.

It’s important to note that he does not get stuck over me not following other promises like when I say i’ll give him a massage. We are also with each other 24/7 (we live, work, and hang out together (i know)) so in some of these moments I’ll say I want to do something later because there is no option to do so right there and then in that moment (in the office, driving somewhere etc)

Who is in the wrong?

So to set the stage I’m 24F about to finish college while working. My bf is 23 and had a job for almost a year and quit because of the stress of work at an amusement park.but b4 that he hasn’t been able to pay half his rent for almost five months and I’m struggling as well as he is he got another job but it barely pays him. He had angry issues , and most of the time it’s himself that ends up being mad. Or his surroundings like for example his game he has an old xbox a game crashed and he got angry like really angry and I tried to calm him down and he threw it to me . It didn’t end up hurting me or touching me at all but it startled me.and there’s little things that he’ll get mad as well. He says that he’ll never hit or harm me. But sometimes because of how he reacts doing that I wonder. And as well he says it’s never me that he’s mad at. Like I love him but I want him to not always be so angry about little things stuff.( side note he is autistic and has adhd.) that doesn’t excuse how he’s acting.

I [33M] have been across the country helping my elderly and ill father and stepmother [70sM/F] move. My girlfriend [31F] planned something really sweet and special for when I get home. Up until this morning, that schedule looked very doable.

(Edit: forgot to say I’ve been here a week and flew out pretty last minute (at my dad’s request))

As of this morning, however, my dad’s asked me to stay another day. It’s for nothing specific, just anxiety. The move has been stressful, and he’s hoping to have me around for if someone needs to be somewhere to receive a delivery or whatever else.

My primary anxiety is correctly valuing my dad’s needs. I have a history of putting family first whenever I can, and it’s lead to some regrets. I love my dad, but he has some substance abuse issues and I’m worried about setting a precedent that puts him first over my girlfriend. However, there’s also the angle that he is factually quite ill. He’s basically immobile some days. My stepmom is a wreck of anxiety and I don’t want them to work themselves into a mess (even though there’s no work to be done).

I feel torn. Like I said, I’ve always prioritized family. Especially with him being sick (long-term organ failure) I don’t often feel like I can do things for him. That being said, I really don’t think there’s a real need for me to be here aside from peace of mind. Sometimes peace of mind is all one needs, though.

On the other hand, my girlfriend is, unsurprisingly, a big part of my life. I feel connected to her in a way I can’t say I’ve ever felt before. We’re new, but we connect on values like no one I’ve ever dated and just plain understand each other. I feel seen with her like no one else. I can really see myself marrying this person and that’s not something I can say I’ve felt with other people. Delaying and having her cancel a special thing isn’t the end of the world, but she’s a priority in my life and I want that known. Despite it being early (we’ve been dating less than six months), I don’t want her to feel like she’s going to be second to my dad.

Thanks for any feedback in advance!

my bf and i have been dating for 2 years. he’s been going to the gym longer than we have been dating, and he’s consistently the biggest guy in the gym. i am very proud of him for how much progress he’s made; and he looks fantastic.

today he said that he wants to post gym pics on insta. this includes shirtless pics. i understand it’s to show his progress, but it made me feel uncomfortable and insecure that other girls could see him the way i do. it’s not even that i think he’ll cheat on me, i just don’t like other girls seeing what only i have seen for so long. i know i need to work on my insecurities, and i am with a therapist.

him and i were discussing it, and to put it into his perspective, i asked what if i posted a pic in a sports bra and shorts, if it was posted as gym progress? (i go to the gym too but am pretty conservative with how i dress). he then said that it’d make him uncomfortable because guys typically thirst over girls a lot more, even if they are fully clothed. he then looked on a bunch of gym guy’s insta accounts and pointed out how no girls thirst over them. it’s strictly for progress

i know i’m kind of at fault here for being so insecure; as i said i am working on it. but what he said kind of made me feel as if there’s double standards between us. i just want advice on the situation as a whole, and if it’s valid for me to feel uncomfy about him posting shirtless pics

I have been dating a woman for a little while. I am 23M and she is 26F. We met at work, but she no longer works there. We have gone on a few dates and have spent time at each other’s apartments. We have hugged, held hands, cuddled, and been physically close, but things have not gone further yet.

This is my first real dating experience. I have never been in a relationship before and I also do not have sexual experience. She does not know that. When she asked me before if I had been in a relationship, I lied because I felt embarrassed and did not want her to see me differently. Problem is I act pretty tough or non chalant outside everywhere at work, college, etc. I think its a respect thing because i feel like if they know i have no life they wont respect me or treat the same way.

Today over the text she told me that she felt caught between waiting and pushing things. When I asked what she meant, she said she believes the masculine role in a relationship is to lead, to be willing to go further, deeper, and more seriously, while also observing how the other person responds to your intentions.

I think she may want me to be more confident and intentional, emotionally and physically. Part of me feels like I should just keep acting confident and figure it out as I go, but another part of me feels bad because I already lied once and I do not want the relationship to be based on pretending.

I am not trying to make this a huge confession or put pressure on her. I like her and I want to move forward respectfully, but I am scared that telling her the truth now will make her lose attraction or see me as immature.

I should let her know that i am a virgin? Has anyone been in a situation like this where they had to admit they had much less experience than they acted like they had? How did you handle that conversation, and how did the other person react? I have been thinking about being honest with her but wanted some outside opinions.

TL;DR; : I don’t know if my boyfriend is getting better at hiding things on his phone or if I’m paranoid

I (20f) and boyfriend (27m) have been dating for almost three years now. We have split and gotten back together probably 5 times within this span all surrounding issues with other women. The issues were around porn for a long time until I eventually set the boundary that I no longer wanted it to be a part of our relationship as he would use it rather than have sex with me. I moved in with him but moved out when I found out he was watching after he said he would go to therapy. Anyway in the shortest version possible we obviously have some sort of attachment issue and we are back together but I am not living with him.

So betrayals of trust that have happened is dating app usage the day of or after a we split, porn usage on Reddit, Snapchat, visiting only fans but never creating an account or paying for it regular porn, and keeping old contacts of women he used to talk to. I have regretted my decision to look through his phone again for the first time in a while out of curiosity. But what I found is eating away at me.

1. ⁠he visited a girls onlyfans from a link off of YouTube (a girl who goes live and is provocative)
2. ⁠he downloaded telegram when we were split and messaged a girl and then got on telegram twice again while together (he was sent verification codes in email which he deleted) on telegram it says the girls user so I reached out to her and she essentially said she didn’t care lol.
3. ⁠he has visited sites twice before we were together like luxe.bio and spicy.me and I have no idea what those are

I have no idea what to do or if he messaged these people or what any of these apps are. Please help me understand and give advice. I think he is getting much better at hiding things and I’m scared he is hiding things behind my back. I looked at his screen time and he is on chrome for quite a bit of time during the day could he still be using telegram on

I have been dating a guy for around 6 months now. At first the relationship was good but I started noticing red flags that I shouldn’t have ignored. I recently found out he lied to me about his age. He had told me he was 30 but he’s 35. He lied to me about which town he lived in but recently I discovered some things of his past that don’t exactly sit right with me. I found out he has paid prostitutes for sex(him and his cousin would share her), he slept with a married woman multiple times (he knew she was married), he set up a hidden camera for sex, and he keeps any revealing pictures from past girls in his phone like trophies. Now although all this was BEFORE we met I still have a weird feeling about it. He’s super into sex and doesn’t mind pushing me past my boundaries even when it makes me uncomfortable. I have told him many times I don’t like sending nude photos and he gets angry with me because of it. He always turns things he has done into my fault and he never says sorry for his actions.I guess I’m asking if I’m wrong for holding things from his past against him? And when I say past I mean within the past 5 years this happened. I’ve been thinking about leaving but wanted some outside opinions..

my boyfriend (25M) is recently getting really close with his best friends younger sister (23F) . last time we hung out he keeps talking about her almost every time and i felt really sad cause he wasn’t prioritising our time together. yesterday he sent me a screenshot of him and her talking about how he told her he would buy her dinner but he forgot to and she started saying stuff like ‘u cheat , u broke my heart’ .. i can take it in a normal way but it feels like she is emotionally connected with him well enough to say stuff like that and same goes for him to allow that. i just feel lost and confused. i should communicate with him about this but for some reason i can’t. i feel like slowly pulling myself away . any advice would help. thanks.

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years, and we’ve been long distance for about a year since she transferred to a different school. I’ve always been uncomfortable with her having a lot of male friends, and I communicated clearly that it hurt me when she was overly friendly with other guys. She told me she wouldn’t talk to boys on TikTok or Telegram, and I trusted her completely because I loved her deeply.

About a week ago, I asked for her Telegram account. She gave it to me, but I noticed she had deleted conversations with male friends. When I checked her saved messages, I found pictures and videos of her male friends—content that felt personal and flirtatious. I also saw that she had sent cute pictures of herself to them. This is when it became clear that she had lied to me about not talking to other boys, even though I had trusted her.

On top of that, there was one guy who was clearly interested in her and flirting with her. At the time, I didn’t know the full story. I had seen him comment on her TikTok and felt suspicious, so I asked her about it. She denied anything, saying he didn’t like her and that he was just alone. Later, I found out the truth: he had already asked her out, and she told him she would think about it.

All of this really hurt me. It feels like she was entertaining multiple guys while being with me. That night, I was extremely upset and nearly ended the relationship, but she cried, apologized, and promised it wouldn’t happen again. I forgave her.

Now it’s been about a week, and I’m still deeply hurt. I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels shocked and betrayed—I never thought she would do something like this. I believed she loved only me, the way I loved her, but she was being flirty with other guys. I’m stuck between staying and leaving, and I don’t know if ending things tonight is the right choice.

I’m 28m and me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 years now, we took almost 8 months off during that time period. I had originally had called it off to needs not being met for long periods of time.

I’m not one to typically complain because I have my moments of laziness, my moments of depression where i don’t want to do anything and I absolutely understand. I have always supported my girlfriend no matter what, she had periods of time where no work was taking her in and i was there through thick and thin. After she got back on her feet I ended up calling it off because it just felt like a one way relationship. Eventually time passed and she reached out to me and i decided to give her a 2nd chance. We moved in and have been living together for a couple about 5 months now, and I mostly do everything at home now. Back the I was at least 97% of the person that had to travel to make time for each other, so I always had to pack my stuff and made sure I had everything. Of course I had times where I would forget things and I would have to drive home to grab it for work or whatever. It became a regular thing eventually. If I slept in, i was probably gonna forget something. Not a big deal we lived about 15 mins apart and it would only add about 10 mins to my drive to work. I never had time to really eat, I always just zoomed over because if we didn’t hang out my girlfriend would be upset. When we got back together all that disappeared. I thought she had matured and grew up. Promises were made about improving and how things were gonna look up.

Now we live together and she just sleeps in super later and goes to bed late. If i don’t encourage going to bed early she won’t. Now I don’t really care about that but the whole point is hopefully she’ll get up to help with chores. Go to bed when you want but she always wakes up with like 2 hours before work. Gets ready and then i’m stuck with all the chores. It’s been brought up a couple times and i’m always adamant about not wanting her to do it all, just please help. It’s daily stuff, feed the cats, wash the dishes from dinner, if it’s trash day take the trash out. I’m always responsible for cooking either before i leave for work or after when i get home. Don’t want her to always cook but at least help.

I’m trying to start a business and it has consumed more of my time but now I’m just stuck with it all. She spends her time talking about getting married and where she wants to travel and go for a honeymoon but i’m like hey there’s more to life than just that and i’m at my wits end. She does work and I have her pay a portion of rent, phone bill, insurance and sometimes groceries

Since we’ve moved in together i just don’t know what to do anymore. I want to make my business work so she can spend less time at work and just stay at home but it’s not looking promising.

Any more details please ask. I’m open to me possibly being the problem but i’m just exhausted

Okay so I’m going to try and keep this short. I love my boyfriend, we’ve always had our problems but we get through them. But these past few days have really made things clear.

Me (19F) went on a 3 day trip with my boyfriend (20M). On the first day I was tired and we got groceries and had a nice cozy night in at the Airbnb. We were watching our favorite show and in this show is an artist in New York City. This artist goes on a date and starts dating this girl. They’ve been dating for a week or two when the girlfriend finds out the artist has been lying about her parents and where she went to school. The artist admits she lied because she needed to for her career since no one would buy art from a poor un- schooled artist. This is also New York City so if she didn’t have money her life and career are ruined. The girlfriend is still very upset and yelling at the artist. I turn to me boyfriend and express that in this situation it’s understandable that the artist would be hesitant to tell the truth since they hadn’t been dating long and here career was on the line. After i expressed my opinion and view my boyfriend gets up and storms out yelling at me about how i think it’s okay to lie in relationship and how im a red flag.

He storms out and is gone for about 30 minutes. He comes back and I am “sleeping” on the bed. He lays down and gets his phone out. I peak my eye open and see him typing in a note on his phone. I then see him text him friend that he rarely ever talks to and definitely doesn’t text first. I knew something was up.

Later when he went to shower I snuck onto his phone and open his Notes app. There I found it - a list of all the “things she done” on the trip. One of them literally included the fact that he bought me McDonald’s and i didn’t eat it. I am on a high protein low sugar and carb diet and also the order was not what I get at all. So no i didn’t eat it, i couldn’t even if i wanted to.

There were about 5 things on this list. I snap a picture and move onto Snapchat. There I open the message with his friend and find out my bf texted him “guess how many things she’s already done the first day of our trip” and his friend guesses like 11. The conversation was my bf talking bad about me and also placing bets on how many things I’ll do by the end.

I confronted my boyfriend and tried to end it but he begged and promised to change- saying this will never happen again. I love him I do but this isn’t the first time I’ve been disrespected when he got mad so idk what to do.

Last night she admitted that she was happy that Charlie Kirk died. I don’t agree with the guy 100% but no one deserves to be murdered in public like that. She had an abortion so she disagrees with him about his abortion stances. What she said was evil but do you guys think it’s an issue?

My fiancé (26M) and I (26F) are in a crossroad about what to do for the future and we are just looking for some opinions, hoping others have been in a similar situation and have stated what has worked for them. We are high school sweethearts, he didn’t go to college and is now working an OK job, I’m a nurse at a level 1 trauma center and have been there for 4 years. I went to school local and commuted, we both lived at home until after I graduated then moved out. I have pretty good seniority at my hospital, don’t have to work weekends, take minimal call, minimal holidays and I am happy with my salary. We’re getting married next August locally.
He got a job offer with his current company down in South Carolina, he believes this is the best offer he can get without a college degree and he isn’t interested in going to college. I am stuck in my hospital contract until next August so I am tied here. We are trying to decide if he should move without me for a year, in a year from now we decide if we should move down to South Carolina together or back to New Jersey together.
We have two dogs together, our lease is up in August and we already informed them we would not resign, the plan was to save for our wedding and buy a house right after the wedding. We are worried if he takes this job if we will even be able to be a house after we are married. He has some credit card debt, the plan was to move home so he can pay off his credit card, car, and then save for a house. Now we aren’t sure what to do since he is getting an offer. It is still less than what i make annually, and if I move it seems like i would be taking a pa ay cut, and i am worried all my work with the hospital im at now would go down the drain (lowest on seniority pole…)
Really just looking for different options, we have both made long pro and con lists but cannot decide what to do 🫪🫪🫪

He doesn’t seem excited or actually wants to play with me - I keep asking to do fun things we both enjoy sexually but his attention is elsewhere- help guide me - I keep asking for him to give his attention to me but nothing changes

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. I have to preface that the first time I slept over we must’ve been intimate like 6 different times. That’s a LOT and I know that, but it was obviously fun. But about a month in, up until now, if we were to be together everyday we’d probably have sex like once every 5 ish days maybe? Sometimes we went weeks without it, but did other stuff instead which is fine.

My real issue (which I know is probably something I need to work on) is feeling rejected. I just feel like complete shit when I try to initiate something and he says no. I know I have a high drive and I think it’s purely down to my hormonal issues, and I hate myself for it, because it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. On top of all of this, I can’t say I know how normal this is, he’s my first, but he does struggle to get it up if we’re about to have sex sometimes which I reckoned was from nerves. Every case I ever hear is man wants to do it loads, woman says no. All I ever see on social media (terrible place to take advice from, ik) is that if your bf doesn’t want to do stuff with you much then he’s not that into you. But I know this isn’t right, I know he loves me and I know he enjoys being intimate. If it were up to me, I’d be so happy with once a day, maybe twice sometimes, is that so wrong?

What has led me to think there’s something wrong with me is the fact that I had the same thing with my ex. I feel like I’m the issue now.

I have genuinely tried looking into any sorts of supplements or medications to lower sex drive and none of them are safe or worth it. I just really wish I wasn’t in the position to get rejected because it does hurt. I wish I could say no every now and then but whenever he wants it, I get in the mood. Such a weird situation to be in

I [26M] have never dated before and I’m genuinely curious how other people think about virginity and past relationships.

I’ve spent most of my life focused on school/career and sacrificed a lot socially to get where I am. Most people would probably consider me successful in terms of career and status, but I never really explored dating seriously.

Recently I met a girl who honestly feels almost perfect to me in every way. The issue is that she’s not a virgin, and from what I understand, she had sex during a really emotionally unstable period of her life with a guy she only knew for about a month.

I know a lot of people will say “the past is the past,” and logically I understand that. But emotionally, I’m struggling more than I expected. I think part of me always associated intimacy with something extremely meaningful and long-term, especially because I personally waited this long and never treated it casually.

What’s difficult for me is not even jealousy of the specific guy, but more the feeling of:

“How can someone who meant so little end up sharing something that feels so important to me?”

I’m genuinely trying to understand different perspectives here, not judge anyone. Have other people struggled with this before? If so, how did you process it?

I honestly don’t know how to feel right now and I need outside opinions.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Earlier today, right after he got out of the bathroom, I saw that he had opened a porn site on his phone. Normally maybe I wouldn’t think too much of it, but lately we’re rarely intimate anymore, and seeing that really hurt me.

I can’t stop thinking that maybe he’s not sexually attracted to me anymore or that I’m just not enough for him. It’s not even necessarily the porn itself, it’s more the combination of that plus the lack of intimacy between us lately.

I have been dating my girlfriend for about a month and a half now. me and her have been friends for around two years before us dating, and from what i’ve heard from her friends we had been liking each other at the same time for around a year months out of those two. i really do like her, and i am confident she likes me as well, but some things worry me.

for example, a couple of days ago at lunch in our school’s cafeteria, me, her, and one of her friends were watching a show that had recently come out. i’m not sure of the name, but it was the romance type of show with scenes of intimacy and things like that. in the show, there are a couple male characters that have scenes of them working out, playing sports, and being active with their shirts off - or in their underwear. when these scenes came on, my girlfriend went crazy. she would do things like cover her face, say things like “oh my god” when they’d be in shot, and when they were playing sports and the guy wasn’t playing well, she said something along the lines of “i love you it’s okay” to him. this bothered me, but i am not the type to speak out when something bugs me. it bugged me because i have been unhappy with the sports i play and i have worked out alongside her, but she hasn’t ever said anything like this to me or about me. i am not saying that i require her to say that, i don’t mind that she doesn’t, but rather that she says things like that so frequently to this character in the show while i sit right beside her.

but, she is a shy person. she is very shy with my family, and although she isn’t shy at all with me, she definitely is with my family and with people she doesn’t know. from what her friends have told me, she is nervous talking about me to them and is shy when i am brought up. this is why i think she might not be saying these things to me, but it is just with the show that i am a bit worried about.

please let me know if i am making too much out of this. i naturally worry a lot about things like this, so if i am taking this out of context or i am understanding this wrong, please let me know. i can also provide more details, if needed. please help, any kind of support is greatly appreciated.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. during the course of our relationship I’ve gained a significant amount of weight because of health problems. We went from non stop sex, anywhere we could and always kinky and fun, to nothing for a month or so at a time, then maybe once. Instead of our previous 4 times a day minimum.
I think he’s masturbating without me. I’ve asked if he’s still sexually attracted to me and he’s said yes but I have a gut feeling he’s watching porn and wishes I was slimmer. He’s always comforting about my size but I’m worried he’s lying to protect me.