my [22M] bf told me [22F] that my boundary around physical contact is «not normal»
tldr:
my boyfriend told me its not normal for me to not want physical contact at all times. is it really that weird or is this a valid boundary to have?
me and my boyfriend (together for about 10 months) have a great relationship for the most part. hes very sweet and thoughtful (and this is coming from a male-sceptical woman - im not blinded by love), which is why i dont get why he doesnt understand this, or at least tries to.
i have this thing where i sometimes dont want to be touched, could last for like a day or two, either comes at random times or if something has happened. any physical contact will just overwhelm me, makes me kinda mad and i just wanna scratch my skin off. idk what it is, but its a boundary that i have, which i told him about at the start of our relationship. he on the other hand is very touchy (his way of showing love ofc).
problem is he doesnt really respect me when i say no. weve had multiple arguments about it, but it doesnt change. ive tried to explain to him how hurtful and frustrating it is that he doesnt listen to me, but he is just as hurt because i dont want to be physical. i personally do not think thats a fair comparison. my problem is that this is about my bodily autonomy and boundaries. his problem is that he cant get comfort from being physical.
i brought this up with him cause ive had a couple of my non touch days again and it really bothered me when he wont let me be. hell kiss on me and i lean away and say please not now, 10 minutes later he tries again. its exhausting, and i feel like i get no time to «recharge» and feel good about it cause he keeps touching me when i dont want it. and here come my main issue, he just told me that my boundaries are not normal, that its not normal to not want to be physical with your partner all the time. «do you think other people in relationships do this?» excuuuse me. he said he expects his girlfriend to want that, just like he does himself.
to me it just feels like he thinks hes entitled to my body just because im his girlfriend.
hes kind of guilttripping me by saying he wants to do it cause he loves me, and that he has had a stressfull couple of days and it bothers him that he cant touch his own girlfriend (even tho he STILL does). and ive tried to cater to his needs and be there for him with small physical gestures. and if he does avoid touching me (for a little while) he acts like hes doing me some favor and is sacrificing his own wants and needs.
anyways if anyone could please enlighten me on if this is a normal boundary to have or if im being unreasonable. i personally think its totally valid. sorry if this is very long