Hello! I feel like the title says it all. Here's some background context: my partner and I have been together for a little over a year now. It's always at big milestones like these I begin to re-evaluate my relationships.
I love my partner dearly, our personalities are almost perfectly matched -- and we have similar values and life directions. They take such good care of me, and I try to do the same for them. However, as we have progressed further into our romantic relationship (we'd known eachother for years before hand) I've found the connection on my end has been minimizing.
I understand that people generally settle once the relationship passes a certain stage - but it feels like the important small things that brought me so much happiness have stopped (e.g. good morning/goodnight texts, date night, etc.). Additionally, our conversations are sort of dull at the moment (mostly "I love you"'s and lots of silly talk -- but nothing of substance). This is hard for me as the main thing I value in any relationship is humour and deep/engaging conversation.
The biggest problem however, is the difference in our maturity. We're about a year and some months apart. They were in a grade below me when we met, and so I am now in University while they finish A-Levels. I feel like I have grown and changed so much in one year, whereas they haven't as much. I'm sure this is exasperated as we're in different life stages, and I feel terrible as it's one of their openly talked about concerns. I often feel like I have to guide them through dealing with their own emotions, and it's very difficult to have a serious conversation without them having a (I know this is brash) bit of a meltdown. As they usually take what I say in the worst way, even though they don't mean to.
Also I feel like whenever we have space (e.g. aren't as close for a week due to studies) I become so much more productive. I get to leave home more, as I don't feel the need to wait for a call. I get more of my assignments finished, and I even do better at my part-time job. I miss them to bits during this time, but I feel undeniably better in general.
But overall, I still love them and care about their wellbeing so deeply. I also worry that all of this will resolve once they finish their final exams as thats absolutely exasperating all these issues. They will come visit me in a few weeks for the summer, and I was thinking of waiting to see how that goes before making a final choice/conversation -- particularly because I don't want to affect their studies.
Has anyone been through something similar? Or have advice on what to do? I don't want to mention it to my friends yet as it will come as a big surprise and I don't want it getting back to my partner somehow. Thank you!