How do I stop my BPD sibling from starting fights?
Hi! I hope I’m using this subreddit right! My sibling (diagnosed BPD) has a specific behaviour during episodes (maybe not the right word) where she specifically asks leading questions to upset a person or instigate an argument. She asks someone what their opinion is on something, knowing they’ll disagree with her and starts an argument or melts down when they do. In other scenarios, she just starts conversations with sort of hurtful questions (ie. When do you think you and SO are going to break up?). This week we were talking about something when she brought up Aubrey Plaza’s pregnancy, saying it was weird considering her husband has just died. I said that I didn’t agree - and it really wasn’t our business what women we didn’t know decided to do with their bodies and lives, which turned into a whole thing. My parents have opted to just agreeing with whatever she says, but I (which totally could just be some stubborn sibling thing) don’t think that’s right - and we should be always validating her opinions, as they can often be quite mean and antisocial, just to avoid a fight. I’ve tried to remove myself from the conversation, but she reacts to that really strongly too. Is there a right way to handle this?