I just deleted all of our 7,000 photos
Its been 7 months since our break up from a 4yr relationship. I feel like ive moved on enough to finally pull the trigger. This is rlly hard for me bcuz ive always been sentimental about photos. I know i would eventually forget things so i always had this special relationship with the photos i took, so id have a way to remember my memories. I did forget, i forgot so much about our relationship. 4 years might not seem long to some people. But we did so much together.
I deleted things starting from the most recent photos. That first step was the hardest. This is the last photo i took of her before we broke up. Also the day we broke up.
I saw pictures of us going on dates i havent thought about in so long. Christmases, anniversaries, birthdays, concerts and such. I saw the pictures i took when we went on our 2yr anniversary date. I feel like my heart sank into the ocean.
I saw screenshots of our snapchat streaks when we had first started dating. And how we downloaded this app to send each other little drawings that would pop up on our phone home screen as a widget. Silly sketches like frogs or cats, and “i miss you” and i love you”. I thought my heart couldnt sink and further.
She used to ask me these cute questions, “why” or “how” and especially “when - did you fall in love with me?” I had the same answer everytime. She found the answer to be cheesy like a cop out. But it was so true that i cant even put it into words. It was before we started dating. I had passed by her house in the morning. I was in the area and asked if she wanted some breakfast, so i went to get us some. I waited outside her driveway at 10am, the sun was bright and everything was perfect. She came out the front door fresh out the shower in sweatpants and a hoodie, hair still wet. The way she smiled at me on the way to my car was THE moment. Its first time i saw her w/o makeup, or the nice clothes she wears when we out for our first few kinda dates. I knew it then she was special. I luckily recorded the whole thing. And i deleted it.
After 7,000 photos and videos i finally came to the last one. I felt so numb at this point. That was it, 4 years together and gone. Ill remember whats important that much i know, and thats enough.
its time for me to move on.