First Parallel Play-who's at fault?
Me and my fiancé are currently spending our third vacation at a swing friendly resort. We've been to a few parties and have played independently both privately and for show (we're exhibitionists)
However during this vacation an opportunity to join another couple, plus a bull was presented to us. I told my fiance I was not quite open to the idea of touching and the couple was very welcoming in that they were totally fine with us just watching or warming up to parallel play.
On the way up to their room we both agreed to watch and possibly parallel given the mood.
Once there things heated up quite quickly and we moved onto the bed next to the couple. Very quickly I noticed it felt like my fiancé's attention was more on the other couple more than in the moment interacting with me. He offered them a flogger we had brought, which soon devolved into my fiance whipping the other woman. Already this is out of the bounds of what we agreed to but I'm too nervous to speak up.
A bit later as I am giving him oral I hear him asking for permission to finger her. At this point I feel like this is a severe violation. I'm uncomfortable, turned off and ready to get out of there. It started to feel more like my fiance was trying to perform (or show off) for the other couple more than being in the moment with me.
After the fact, I quickly end up shutting down for the rest of the night accompanied by bouts of yelling at him in frustration.
He agreed he broke the rules, and that he is completely responsible for not checking in with me or checking if I consented to him touching her.
He also stated he felt like we didn’t talk about our boundaries wholeheartedly and entirely enough beforehand.
So I'm not really sure where to go from here. I feel like my trust has been entirely breached and as my first parellel experience I feel extremely uncomfortable. I'm not sure where to go from here or if we need to take an entire step back.
For a side note: I have been into both BDSM and exhibitionism much longer than he has, and I have worked very very hard to educate him on consent and trust. So it is NOT that he wasn't "educated " or doesn't "know better"