23M Telugu student in Australia feeling completely lost
I’m a 23-year-old Telugu guy who recently moved from India to Australia for my master’s.
Everyone around me said this would be a “new life” — better opportunities, career, future. Even I believed maybe moving here would finally change something inside me.
But after coming here, I realized changing countries doesn’t automatically change what you feel inside.
Since childhood, I’ve always been quiet and emotionally distant. I never really connected deeply with relatives, family, or people around me. Not because I hated anyone — I just never felt understood. A lot of childhood trauma stayed with me for years, and even now I carry it silently every single day. Most people around me don’t truly know who I am or what goes on in my mind.
The truth is… I was never really interested in doing a master’s degree or chasing big achievements. Deep inside, I just wanted a peaceful life — to live freely, without constant pressure, responsibilities, expectations, or society deciding what success should look like.
But no matter what I do, I always feel trapped between responsibilities and society.
Study.
Get a degree.
Get a job.
Earn money.
Make family proud.
Build a future.
Sometimes it feels like life was already decided for me before I even understood what I wanted.
Now I’m in Australia, surrounded by thousands of people, yet I’ve never felt this alone.
At college, most students already have their own groups. Many are from China, Cambodia, or local Australians. I watch people laugh together, travel, enjoy life, while I struggle to even start conversations. Some days pass where nobody genuinely talks to me.
And at night, when I come back to my room, silence becomes unbearable.
That’s when the thoughts start:
“Why did I even come here?”
“What’s the purpose of my life?”
“Why was I even born?”
These thoughts never fully stop. I keep pretending I’m okay because that’s what everyone expects, but mentally I feel exhausted all the time.
People think studying abroad is exciting, but nobody talks about the loneliness, identity crisis, and emotional pressure that can slowly destroy you from inside — especially when you’ve already felt disconnected your whole life.
Sometimes I walk through Melbourne streets seeing groups of friends enjoying life, and I wonder what it feels like to truly belong somewhere. To feel understood. To feel wanted. To feel peace inside your own mind.
Maybe one day things will change.
Maybe one day I’ll find people who genuinely understand me.
Right now, I’m just trying to survive one day at a time.