u/Ereyagreen

how do I tell people I realized I don’t like men?

I’ve made FB posts about bi pride and how I l loved being bi. I‘ve made educational posts and talked about stigma. I’m still proud I did that but I feel like people will be confused when I tell them I realized I’m a lesbian.

being bi was good for the time: I acknowledged I was lgbt while still telling myself I could date and marry a man like my homophobic family wanted. I told myself I loved the men I dated and even some of them I did- although in a friend way, not romantically.

realizing I’m a lesbian is scary because it means I can no longer suppress who I am to please others.

In elementary school, I never had 'crushes' on guys. I picked a random guy and just decided I liked him, meanwhile I really had a crush on my friend but didn't realize it at the time.

I have dated men before. I previously thought I was bisexual until my most recent ex, who was amazing to me but I still felt like something was wrong. It was really hard for me because I really DO love him, just not romantically or sexually.

I feel almost guilty about it, because for so long I tried to tell myself that the love I felt for him was enough for me, and he was so sweet and loving to me that I didn't want to break his heart, but I still felt like something wasn't right and I still thought about women all the time.

Now I feel so behind with dating and like I don't know what to do because so many queer women have been dating for so long and I'm only now accepting my true self. It is so scary because I grew up in a homophobic household and never thought dating women was an actual choice.