Texte her? 34M and 29F
Over the last week I [34M] had sex with a coworker and close friend of mine [29F], but she has a boyfriend [40M] and has been in a long distance relationship for 1 year.
It's started out with heavy drinking after work where we finished alone together, this is something we do on occasion and I often end up sleeping on her couch after a few too many beers. But this time we were seriously drunk and she pull me into her bed end we spent the rest of the night having sex and passionate cuddling.
The next days at work were awkward, we didn't really talk much and almost avoided each other. I felt bad about this situation, took my courage and ask her if we could talk about it. A immediat smile appeared on her face and she said yes. Our work timing only permitted us to do this a few days after, we joined up at the bar, drank moderately this time and had our discussion.
What she had to say was what I expected, but with some little paradox in it. In essence it was that she had a boyfriend that she loved very much and that things were not going to well because of the distance. She justified our intercours as a mix loneliness, appreciation toward me, lot of alcohol and confused feelings.
What i mean about the paradox is that she would slip some extra detail that kind of questions her thinking process. Like she told me she see us like close friends (expectable) then follows about how she like me more than a friend and would probably be jealous if I had a GF... or, I love my BF, but sex with you was great and I didn't know I could be like that...
We have a good long talk into the late hours of the night. We don't only talk about our relationship, we share personal life trauma, inspiring people etc...
The more this talk is going on, the more we are becoming tactile, friendly hugs, hand on knees or on shoulders.
Midnight soon on us, she invite me to sleep on the couch and that nothing else would happen. I wanted to be respectful and friendly, I accept with no expectations of sex.
After a little more talking, she declares its bed time and so we hug a goodnight, she went to her room while I went on the couch, somewhat happy that we resolved our problem.
After 5 min she come out of her room and slipped in the sheets with me, from there start lots of kissing and long sexual entercours that would last till the morning.
One of the best night of my life.
But during this night the paradoxs continues.
After entering my bed, she said that we are doing all the opposite of what we talked about.
During a cuddling break she confessed that she thought about telling her BF that she loved, but maybe it wasn't that important. ( didn't stop use from having more sex afterwards). Later on i told her that I adore her (to purposely avoid the word love) and she said "adore" is a funny word but she thought of a other one for me (love ????)
She also mentioned that maybe alcohol may have not maid much of a difference last time. And that her feelings were maybe not as mixed but maybe unrealised (implying she had feelings for me?)
Next morning after a long cuddle in bed. I could see doubt and confusion growing in her. She was leaving the day after for a 4 day weekend with her BF. I felt bed seeing her starting to torture her mind on what she should do next. I told her that the choice is her, to tell her Bf or not, to continue between us or not...
And now im writing this during the 4 day weekend.
And I miss her...
I wanted to act like I'm unmoved by this situation and just be a correct friend. I thought i was a drunk little mistake and that it would never happen again. But now im confused and in love... it's been 2 days that my mind is filled by her. My only activity is walking long distances to tired my brain out and sleep to make time go by faster.
Im looking at my phone waiting for a message she is never going to send. I imagine her having the time of her life with her BF and imagining myself disappearing from her life and maybe its a good thing for all involved. But that not what I want...
I just want a drop of her.
I wanna text her...
TL:DR : Me and girl have sex, girl with BF, Me miss her.