No Contact is hard on everyone.
I'm as close to No Contact as I can manage in good faith. We only speak to discuss things about our child and only via writing unless there is a phone call to the kid that they or I have to pick up, as well as scheduled in person pick up times. I feel like there is no avoiding escalations. If I respond, they are upset. If I don't respond, they are upset. I am polite and civil and I stay in my lane even though speaking to them makes me feel anxious and I feel panicked and in danger whenever I am near them. I've done a gut check and confirmed my values in this. I am not doing anything wrong, and I am doing my best to keep in mind that our kid loves their other parent and I want them to have a relationship. They act like I am the big bad trying to take everything away and they seem to be suffering and all I want is to move forward and I cannot wait until our kid is old enough that I am no longer obligated to interact with this person and can finish up healing. I wish them well, but I don't want to be any part of their life anymore and have said so. It doesn't stop them from reaching out in emails to ask if I still have random objects from literal years ago just to maintain contact. I didn't make them leave town. I am not responsible for any of their regrets. All I know is that as long as the kid is safe and receiving adequate care I will keep everything BIFF'ed in my responses and talk well about them to our kid and count the next decade and a half down until I am free. The alternative is terrifying, but I have a legal fund. I will work on finding a civil path through if I can.
TLDR: Talking doesn't work. Not talking is equally fucky. I'll be nice, do the time, and flee to safety and refuge.