Triggered by NIPT and comparing timelines
I wanted to do my nipt close to 16 weeks so that if something was found, we could immediately proceed with amino. I was adamant about not doing cvs again. I visited my genetic councelor who was on board with it, but it would mean I'd need to come back to her office once again in a couple of weeks. I never want to visit that place again, it was extremely triggering, so I very reluctantly agreed to have my blood drawn that day. I was crying my eyes out while they were sticking the needle in my arm. I don't want to hear the word NIPT, I don't want to say it out loud, I'm hiding all posts related to NIPT. Omg when people share shit like "NIPT results in, it's a girl!" I die a little inside.
I will be 13+1 when I get my results, I'll be working from home or even taking the day off. They're not going to call me sooner, even if the results are bad. And if they are bad I will probably proceed with cvs even if I don't want to. Fortunately, the odds are of course very low. I deliberately chose to do the most limited test available, which will only look at chromosomes 13, 18 and 21. I'm scared as shit for a false positive. If it's any of these chromosomes, I'll at least be able to accept that it will likely be confirmed.
There's nothing in particular I'm looking for with this post, I just needed to vent. It's all so triggering, I'm having flashbacks and am constantly thinking of the timeline with my TFMR baby. I am so sorry for everyone who is struggeling in a similar way, whether it's the NIPT, anatomy scans, or any other triggering point on your timeline.
It sucks to be in this place. I was doing surprisingly well, but now I'm struggeling, even though everything looks great so far. With my tfmr baby there were already signs that something was off, but we see none of that now. I've also scheduled a date to have my cat euthanised in two weeks, which makes it all even harder. Even more flashbacks. I don't want to make decisions like this.
Thanks for making it through this clumsily written post and may you have a very good day ❤️