r/PregnancyAfterTFMR

This month is our first TTC after our TFMR in June. We waited a full cycle after the procedure to make sure I had a proper period, but due to my age, we don't want to wait longer. My doctor cleared us to try again.

I'm generally doing OK and I've been hopeful about trying. But now that I think I've ovulated, I'm just feeling really anxious and sad about conception because I KNOW that what happened last time was just a really unlucky event that had nothing to do with my age or anything that we did, but I can't help but worry that I could do something around now to cause something like it again :(

I guess I'm not looking for advice, but I needed to share with people who would understand <3

I have now experienced back to back chemicals in my first two cycles after my TFMR. This emotional rollercoaster has just turned to numbness. Concerned something is wrong from my procedure such as scarring or chronic endometritis. Have an appt with my OB in two weeks. Just feels like extra time lost and makes me miss our son even more. Having a hard time imagining that things will get better

I had a tmf on December 2025 because my baby girl had had 1 heart ventricle, we found out when she was 22 weeks. I got pregnant in my second cycle and just found out baby boy has a perfect heart, all ventricles 💙❤️
Having a loss then expect our 🌈 and seeing everything going well I feel like I’m so much more grateful, every ultrasound, every movement just makes me so happy

There were many times I thought I won’t ever write this post but here I am, holding my almost 3 weeks old on my chest. I’m soaking up every little minute with this perfect little soul.
Nevertheless, I wanted to ask your advice on a couple things

1. I sometimes hold this baby and think of the one I didn’t get to hold and it makes me feel guilty somehow. Like I’m replacing something. And I never got to tell him how much I loved him and how much I would have loved to hold him just like this. I will never know how he would have looked liked or see how he grows up.

2. Anxiety never settled for me. First it was miscarriage, then I got into a big anxiety spiral and almost terminated this pregnancy because I was certain something will be wrong with this baby too and didn’t want to go through that again. Thank god I chose to go through with the pregnancy, crazy hormones and trauma. After that it was the anatomy scan, then it was the third trimester anatomy scan and I was certain they’ll find something. Then the birth part when I was sure I’ll have some sort of cord accident and never hold my breathing baby. Now it’s SIDS anxiety and I literally cannot find peace.

Will I ever be able to not feel like I’m on the verge of losing this baby too? How do you deal with these feelings?
Thank you!

34F. We started trying in early 2025 when I was 32 and conceived our first planned pregnancy on the first cycle, but unfortunately had a TFMR around 13 weeks for severe CDH. During that pregnancy we discovered a complete uterine septum, and I later had 3 hysteroscopic resections. There’s still a small residual septum, but both REs recommend leaving it alone.
We’ve now had 6 well-timed cycles without another pregnancy. I ovulate regularly, tubes are open, semen analysis is reassuring, and AFC is around 8–9. My RE does not think I’m infertile and thinks natural pregnancy is still very possible.
We definitely want two kids. The decision is whether to keep trying naturally now or pause for IVF mainly to bank embryos for baby #2 while I’m 34, since retrieval may be harder at 36–37 after pregnancy/recovery. IVF is covered through my employer, so cost isn’t the main factor.
For anyone who faced a similar “IVF for future family planning, not because you currently can’t conceive” decision, what helped you decide? Any hindsight you wish you’d had?

It has been a bit over 4 months since I TFMRed the wanted pregnancy (22weeks - through L&D) and I‘ve awaited till baby boys due date to TTC.

Right now, I am in my first cycle and I am 6 DPO. I am somewhat very (too probably) optimistic and then again terrified.

I know there is a high chance that I won’t get pregnant this cycle - I am just curious, how long did it take you guys get pregnant?

Trying to lower my own expectations 🥹

After the sad loss of our 2nd baby girl at 22 weeks due to severe heart defects, being pregnant again was absolutely terrifying. My mental health has been such a challenge over the last year. Pregnancy after TFMR was a consistent struggle, a constant worry of something going wrong, alongside the intense grief of our TFMR angel.

At exactly 41 weeks, our 3rd baby finally arrived. He's absolutely perfect, and looks so much like both of his sisters.

I feel so at ease. He's here, he's safe, he's healthy, he's home 🩵

After having 2 girls (4yo daughter, then TFMR angel), finding out we were having a boy gave me mixed feelings. I was so relieved that he was healthy at his anatomy scan, but conflicted that the life I had imagined with my two daughters was no longer happening.

When we were TTC, I looked up at the stars and spoke to our TFMR angel and asked her to choose a baby from the souls of all the brothers and sisters she could have, and to send the one she thinks we need. She made a perfect choice. Our little boy has filled our hearts with so much love. I am absolutely smitten. He's the most special addition to our family, and ever more so because I feel like he is a gift from her.

Hi all,

I'm currently 6w pregnant with our sub pregnancy after TFMR for Acrania in March. We had an early reassurance scan this morning and the little heartbeat was seen and the appointment went as positively as it could have.

That said, since I found out that I'm pregnant I have been a completely anxious wreck. The scan today triggered me a lot more than I thought it would and it made me realise that maybe I haven't processed the loss of my first pregnancy as well as I thought I had.

Does anyone have any recommendations for counselling/therapists/charities who specialise in pregnancy after loss? I'm based in South East UK, but very much open to online options so it could be anywhere UK-based

Thanks

[supprimé]

Looking for some positive outcomes from other women who have experienced SCH and what their timelines looked like!
This is my 3rd pregnancy with no living babies so I am EXTREMELY stressed out & anxious about this pregnancy. My first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and then my last pregnancy ended in a TFMR for anencephaly at 14 weeks. On August 4th at 7 weeks exactly I began very lightly spotting but had an appointment the next day for my dating ultrasound so brought up my concerns then. My doctor said she wasn’t concerned & that the baby had a strong heartbeat and was measuring exactly where it should be. She didn’t give me a cause of the bleeding and just said to monitor it. I continued to spot very light brown blood only on toilet paper for the next couple days. Then on the 7th I went to the bathroom and my underwear was soaked through to my pants with blood and clots. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with a small subchorionic hemorrhage. This past Monday, the 17th, was the first day since the 4th that I haven’t spotted. I have an appointment with my MFM tomorrow for another ultrasound but just looking for women who have been in my situation who had a positive outcome even with bleeding for as long as I did! Hopefully I get good news tomorrow!!

Two days ago I’m tested positive for unplanned pregnancy (I’m married). The thing is, we never exclusively thought about kids. We are a carefree couple and my husband is very sweet and takes care of me very well. We have been the happiest. I never imagined or think about kids, but gradually when I see people having really hard time after having kids I started getting scared and my husband is on same page as me.

Now, suddenly we are clueless and had to cancel the trip we planned for next to next week since it’s positive. While we both are having mixed feelings, we realised from now on our lives are gonna revolve around the kid and started feeling anxious. Like I’ve been constantly crying and shivering in fear even in hospital that doctor asked if I’m married and fine with it. They scanned and it’s a very early pregnancy and it’s gonna take another a couple of weeks for scanning.

My husband and I started listing down the upcoming things like baby shower, our last trip as a couple, maternity photo shoot, then my sister’s wedding, and then delivery and then another trip before baby turns 6 months and honestly it’s been beyond overwhelming when I was listing out the things to buy to prepare for pregnancy and postpartum. I mean, the list is endless.

Sometimes I’m bursting out like am I gonna feel myself ever again? I’m so scared of labour pains and the whole procedure as I’m scared of even an injection. My husband is very supportive and he said whatever I say is the final call. I’m honestly felt nothing when I saw positive like how my cousin said she cried in tears for her test. Do I lack maternal instincts? I’m literally feeling nothing but sometimes just anxious. Is it normal? I’m clueless like is it only gonna get worse if I plan to have one.

UPDATE: Baby looks perfect on the scan, he is 3 days ahead according to the ultrasound, all organs look great at this point 🥰💙

This is the most dreaded scan for me. I had clear nipt a couple of weeks ago and that was really great feeling, but recently I have been feeling worse mentally in anticipation to the NT scan. I have been crying a lot, completely paranoid and scared. I will be going to the same MFM who gave me the bad news my last pregnancy. This feels like going for my own hanging. Please share some positivity here, tonight will be a tough one. 🙏

had a TFMR at 14 weeks in June 2026 for diagnosed T18, and my husband and i had agreed to take time off from TTC by focusing on getting in shape, eating healthy etc, before trying again next year.

just missed my period a few days ago, and got a positive test result.

i don’t know how to feel. all i wanted was to have a healthy baby, but after experiencing the tfmr in my first pregnancy, i can’t get the thought out of my head that everything is going to happen again. have been spiralling over the past few days, wavering between elatedness and pure fear.

I had my second scan today at 9w1d and baby was measuring 8w5d. HR was 172. With my tfmr (T18) pregnancy the HR was 170 and measured 9w3d at my 9w6d scan.

I’m sure you can see why I am having flashbacks, measuring 3 days behind again with a similar HR. I was measured at 6 weeks and was measuring only a day behind at that visit, which is also consistent with my TFMR experience.

I guess my question is has anyone measured this far behind at this gestation and gone on to have a normal pregnancy?

My NIPT is scheduled for next week and I am dreading it.

My TFMR was 17 days ago at 23+6 via L&D. I also had a postpartum hemorrhage and lost 1.2 L of blood, and I needed a D&C to remove retained placenta.

Physically, I feel fine and really want to get back to working out, particularly weightlifting and moderate cardio. So far, I’ve only been walking and doing some light indoor cycling. Today is the first day I've barely had any spotting.

I’m eager to get back to working out because we want to TTC again as soon as possible, and I’d also like to lose about 10 lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

I’m taking prenatals, extra iron, calcium, vitamin D, fish oil, and CoQ10. I don’t have my OB appointment until 6 weeks postpartum, so I’m wondering:

When were you approved to start working out after your TFMR? Did you wait until you were medically cleared, or did you start exercising before your appointment?

(TW: LC)

I'm lucky to have a 3YO girl. I've since struggled with miscarriage, ectopic, TFMR, infertility, and more. I am hoping to do an IVF transfer in a few months; if it takes, I'll *hopefully* have a ~4.5 year age gap. I really wanted a 2 year age gap. Do you think trying for another girl somewhat "reduces" that age gap? It so, I may need to do another egg retrieval first. Insurance thankfully will cover the cost. Do you think having 2 girls makes the age gap feel smaller? For those of you going through IVF, would you do another retrieval for a better shot at a girl?

I’m so incredibly frustrated with how the last 9 months have gone with a 22w TFMR and 9w miscarriage. I can’t help my ask myself will I ever get to move on from this?

I TFMR’d for a NTD at 22w Dec 2, that baby was conceived on the first month we tried. Started TTC in Jan when my period returned after my D&E, tried for 4 cycles unsuccessfully. Started working with a fertility clinic, all my & my husbands tests came back clear with a good AMH level and follicle count. I’m 32, will be 33 in September.

Had my first IUI in April, and it was successful. Felt so blessed it worked, had ultrasounds at 6,7&8 weeks measuring right on time with a strong heartbeat. Heart stopped somewhere at 8.5 weeks, afterwards they noticed the radiologist said gestational was very small which could have indicated an issue with the baby. Managed my MMC with misoprostol at 9.5 weeks. Thankfully it did the trick, US showed no retained tissue and HCG was back to 0 within 4 weeks.

Did my second IUI earlier this month and found out it failed this morning. I told myself I wouldn’t put too much pressure on my first IUI after miscarriage not working but I’m SO devastated today. I can’t handle my emotions and cannot stop crying & feeling so helpless. It doesn’t help that my best friend and SIL who I found out were pregnant 3 weeks after my TFMR gave birth two weeks ago, and the other today, which really triggers me.

I’m so emotional about all that I’ve gone through the last 9 months and can’t help but wonder when I’ll get my rainbow baby, if ever. 😭

In January we had a TFMR when I was 24 weeks pregnant from severe scoliosis and kyphosis with a possibility of VACTRL. I was naive and thought we’d conceive again on the first try like how it originally happened. But 6 cycles trying later, here we are. I know it’s early - 3 weeks and 5 days and I waited until today to test because we’re leaving for vacation to Mallorca today and I wanted to know if it would be a mocktail or cocktail trip.

Wishing you all your rainbow babies, and the families you have dreamed of. ❤️

My sweet little girl. It has been 1 whole year since I got to birth you, meet you, hold you, and have my heart expand infinitely whilst simultaneously shattering. You were so perfect, I can't believe we created you.

It is so weird to think it has been 1 whole year... I can remember it like it was yesterday. Especially as all the wattles are coming out here, like they did when you were born. It is sunny today, like the sunshine you gave us when we came home after weeks of rain. Letting us know you were still here, and were okay.

I have been dreading today a bit - knowing how hard and painful it would be. I think the lead up was worse - I have had so many resurgences of such strong grief - so many tears have been shed.

I miss you so much. I wish you were here, celebrating with us. I wish I knew your eyes, your smile, your personality. You should be crawling around the rug right now. That dream life feels so far away. Ripped away. It still hurts so much. I would do anything to hold you in my arms again, kiss your little button nose, stroke your cheeks.. every inch of you was utter perfection.

We love you so much, sweet angel. More than everything. Your little brother will grow up knowing about his amazing big sister, who is watching over him.

Happy Birthday to our Elara Rose.

You are our whole hearts. 💗

Hi everyone,

I had my D&E at 20+3 on July 31, so about 2 weeks out. My doctors didn’t set up a follow-up appointment nor did they recommend waiting to TTC again (though they did say waiting for the first period after makes it easier to date the next pregnancy). Is that common? Especially the no follow up?

I’m planning to wait for the first period anyway, but is there anything I should try and keep in mind/do before TTC? Should I try to get an appt with a GYN anyway? I’m at a big university hospital system so I don’t have a dedicated OBGYN.

I TFMR’d for an isolated heart defect and our microarray was normal.