r/PregnancyAfterTFMR

On CD13, and I think I’m ovulating today after an LH peak of 1.18 yesterday morning. Timed intercourse perfectly this cycle. 3rd cycle ttc since TFMR in March at 22 weeks (no RPOC). Conceived our first pregnancy that ended in TFMR on the 1st try last year, so just needed to hear encouraging stories about your ttc journeys after loss. Advice & tips in the waiting? It’s so hard to wait and not think anything’s wrong.

I’ve had my B12, thyroid panel, CRP, Vitamin D, Iron tested.. all came back normal. I’m taking 4mg folic acid, prenatal, fish oil, CoQ10, choline, and Vit D3 daily.

Hey everyone,

Lotta love for this community.

Can't believe it.. made it to 22 weeks and a clear anatomy scan last week after losing our boy last year at 24 weeks.

So many milestones, but now my next one is think8ng about birth... last year our son was stillborn with LnD and I'm nervous about antinatal classes and people assuming that we haven't given birth... also nervous about starting anti natal and being back in the very traumatic memories of the birth last year....

Did anyone else find this? Is antinatal not as bad as I'm making it out to be? Advice appreciated and sending love to everyone here x

Hi all! I'll preface this with saying I am in therapy and I plan on talking to my therapist about this all tomorrow but looking for advice on how to get through milestone dates.

Last July my husband had a cardiac arrest while we were on vacation in Cape Cod. He made a miraculous recovery but the anniversary of his incident is coming up in a few weeks. My TFMR due date was July 14th and on that date my current sub will be the exact gestation I terminated that pregnancy, 17w4d. I have my early anatomy scan coming up on Wednesday and that's where everything fell apart in my last pregnancy and we are supposed to leave for a vacation with my husband's parents on Thursday. To top it all off my LC's birthday is the 15th. It all just feels like too much, I don't want to go on the vacation.

I've been feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin thinking about the combination of all these dates, it just feels like impending doom. I don't have any rational reasons to believe something will go wrong but it just feels like a dark cloud over my head.

Did anyone feel similar? Did you just grit your teeth and get through it or was there something that helped ease the anxiety?

For those who are in their First Trimester after TFMR, we invite you to participate in the weekly First Trimester Weekly Check-in thread. Feel free to hare the highlights of your journey with others going through their first trimester as well.

Resources from this sub:

Historical Posts mentioning First Trimester

Historical Posts mentioning Dating Scan

Historical Posts mentioning NIPT

Historical Posts mentioning Amnio

Historical Posts mentioning CVS

Historical Posts mentioning Gender Disappointment

Resources from other subs:

r/NIPT

I have a 16 month old, following a TFMR of my first pregnancy. I’m pregnant again (planned) and I am feeling very pragmatic about everything. I know the odds, and I know sometimes even a 0.8% chance happens. If it happens again, I’ll be devastated, but I don’t think I’d be as broken like the first time.

However, I’m yet again finding that I cannot stand the bump group. I popped in there for one second and noped out of there after reading one post. The post was about Big Anxiety over miscarriage.

I get it, I do. But I find myself having zero reassuring words and this impulse to be like, “yeah, I mean anything can happen.”

The people in the replies are like “it’s so unlikely!” Um. Yeah, so was my TFMR. But it happened.

Someone dropped a link to this “reassurance” calculator where you put in your total # of weeks and it tells you the odds. It said my pregnancy is 80% likely to result in a baby. Everyone is like “this is great and so reassuring!” WOW do I not find it reassuring. 20% chance is so much higher than my 0.8% risk of a TFMR. But yeah, I’m not gonna say that.

I didn’t think I’d feel as annoyed with this handwringing anxiety as I did last time around. Yeah, it might happen. Yeah, you might lose the pregnancy. Stop being so so so anxious about it. You cannot control it.

I ridiculously end up thinking it’s childish for people to be SO anxious about this stuff they cannot control. And it’s further an eye roll to read the comments reassuring. No one commenting says they’ve gone through a loss. It’s naive to say it probably won’t happen. IT COULD. IT MIGHT.

Aaaaaaand then I feel like a fucking asshole. I really wish I had more empathy. But I don’t. The TFMR stole my empathy for run of the mill, standard issue anxieties from people who haven’t experienced loss. Just one more thing it took from me.

Hi all. I haven’t written in here for ages. I kinda stayed off Reddit as I kept seeing so many posts of people conceiving after tfmr and I just felt why I am trying and it’s not happening. Quick backstory is that this time last year, I found out I was pregnant, did private NIPT, all was low risk, went to my 12 week scan, issues came up with my daughter’s brain not developing. Was referred to maternal medical unit, confirmed alobar HPE, CVS testing later confirmed T13. Devastated… tfmr on 29th august.

We went through all the genetic testing. All was clear. My partner wasn’t sure about wanting to try again as he was fearful but in Nov 2025 we started trying again. Still to this date nothing. I am in the UK and I have paid about £4K on ovulation induction, not worked. TTC is putting huge pressure on the relationship and at the moment we aren’t really trying as my partner again struggling and telling me that he doesn’t like all this timed intercourse (I’m sorry but I am like just get on with it, you have one job - of course I say this in my head not out loud!)

I am just struggling so much and because I am 40 feel like my tfmr baby was my last chance. What makes matters harder is everyone around me has become pregnant or had their babies. Yesterday my sister gave birth to her healthy son. Yes I am happy for them but I can’t help but feel this complete loss of why I couldn’t have my baby here. She would have been 4 months old. No one understands or it seems like everyone thinks I should be fine. I literally hold my emotions all day and at night have a cry to myself or when I am driving my eyes well up. I have had counselling for 3 months (all the NHS could offer) but if I am honest I just feel low in mood all the time. I find no happiness in life anymore and despite trying to book little things to have something to look forward to, nothing gives me pleasure or happiness. I just feel broken still from the last year. TTC after tfmr is also so challenging.

I don’t know what I am hoping from this msg but just any advice about how I can try and find some happiness where everything isn’t about babies but also when you feel alone and don’t really have anyone to talk to xxx

I am 6+6 today, we went to see if our little bean has a heartbeat and there it was, measuring exactly 6+6. Everything is looking as it should so far.

Bad news is that I didn’t pass my glucose test, my exact numbers were 95 fasted, 123 after 1 hour and 136 after 2 hours. So I was already diagnosed with GD. I am insulin resistant which is why they made me do this test right at the beginning of pregnancy and I know that these standards can vary from country to country.

I have been pregnant 3 times and this is the first time that I have GD and obviously not the news that I wanted to hear.

I have joined the GD subreddit but I also wanted to ask you moms here if you had GD with any of your pregnancies, how was the management, how did you deal with it? I am very very nauseous and can barely eat anything, I started vomiting yesterday which makes me anxious that I can’t be on any kind of diet until I feel better. I cut out ALL refined sugars from my diet 3 weeks ago and I am willing to do what it takes to bring my numbers to normal, but right now the idea of any food is hard for me let alone vegetables and protein. Share your wisdom please 💙

Hi mamas. Went yesterday for an emergency appointment because i started bleeding again at 11 weeks (bleed once at 6 weeks in because of a very small hematome). This time because my newly formed placenta is near (or on. top of cervix idk doc didn’t specify. While he said 90 percent of cases it goes up, from what Im reading its usually at week 32 and onwards. I don’t even know is baby is totally ok because I didn’t have my 12 week scan yet (thats where we found our tfmr baby was not good) And now in this pregnancy this. Placenta previa might be the issue if the forming placenta doesn't migrate up and that makes me so sad. It feels like my fate is to have pregnancy struggles and that makes me so sad.. Plus that I read that one of the reasons to develop placenta previa is if you had a curettag, I had two a year ago for my tfmr. And now Im thinking if I should have waited even longer to heal properly or smth. I just needed to rant and maybe as anyone here if they found out that their placenta is low in first trimester and by second it went up and how it went for you all. Lost of love ❤️

I’m 24 weeks today and can say that even though things still feel very scary and I’m taking it one step at a time, I’m very happy to have finally hit a new milestone!

After having my TFMR at 23 weeks last year, this week felt big to me. So far everything is going well and baby has had multiple anatomy scans with no issues.

Now I just have to wait until 32 weeks for my next scan, which will be anxiety inducing for sure, but for today I am celebrating a new milestone and it feels good.

So it's already been about 8 weeks since the termination of my previous pregnancy, which ended at week 22 because of a de novo variant discovered through a WES test without any prior indication.

Finally, I am past my first ovulation and period, and there are a lot of stress and expectations around it—and the same goes for the second ovulation I’ve been waiting for.

I thought that ovulation would be around CD19 like it was back when I conceived, but this time it took 22 days... so we had a few mis-timed sessions of intercourse. But in the end, we did every other day around ovulation, which ended up probably being one intercourse a day before ovulation (I think, because it was a few hours after the LH test was positive) and 2 days prior to this... which I'm not sure is relevant.

Anyhow... I'm already a few days past it now. I'm trying to do some yoga, go out, Zumba, and other fun stuff, but I still find myself talking to the chat and trying to guess whether I conceived or not.

At the same time, if I did conceive, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that during this exact timeline last time, the de novo mutation had already formed...

And then I'm thinking about the pregnancy test and how I will cope with this situation—because it can be negative on the first try, and I understand that.

I’m currently 6 weeks 4 days pregnant after a TFMR last year, and my first ultrasound is next week. I’m finding that instead of feeling excited, I mostly feel numb. I don’t really know what I’m walking into emotionally.
I’m trying to be realistic rather than expecting to feel “safe” right away. In my mind, I keep thinking maybe I’ll start feeling more confident after a reassuring heartbeat, then a low-risk NIPT, then good scans (NT/early anatomy, anatomy scan, fetal echo if indicated, growth scans, etc.). But then I read stories here of unexpected findings much later in pregnancy ,even into the third trimester-and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever truly relax.
For those who have been pregnant after a TFMR, when did you personally start to feel that things were likely going well? Was there a particular milestone that helped you breathe a little easier or feel comfortable sharing the pregnancy with family and friends?
I know none of us get guarantees, but I’d really appreciate hearing what helped you emotionally after everything you’d been through.

Personally, I keep thinking that if I make it through a reassuring heartbeat, low-risk NIPT, normal scans, and everything continues to look good through around 28 weeks, I might finally be able to let myself believe this is real.
I know many people will say to stay optimistic, and I truly understand that perspective. For me, after a TFMR, I’m trying to balance hope with realistic expectations. In reality, after reassuring NIPT and all the recommended scans up to around 28 weeks, how much confidence did you personally feel?

For moms who have had their rainbow baby post TFMR, how was your labor emotionally? I have an LC so I remember how I felt after he was born, the happiness and exhaustion. But as I’m nearing my due date I’ve started to wonder how I’ll feel this time after TFMR. I feel like I’ve been waiting so anxiously to get to that other side and now that I’m close I almost feel nervous? I can’t wait to meet this baby and in a way I don’t feel like I’ll be able to fully exhale until I meet him.

Did you think of your TFMR baby when you met your rainbow baby? Did it feel bittersweet or did it just feel like pure relief?

TW: Miscarriage

Hi all. I’m currently pregnant (~19 weeks) after a TFMR at 23+5 last year. I have a dear friend who was such a rock during this time.

She recently told me she was pregnant (FTM) and I watched her puppy while she and her husband went to an early reassurance scan. Unfortunately it was not the news anyone wants and looks like a MMC.

I want to be there in the way she was for me but I know it can be triggering to be around pregnant friends as well. For me I wasn’t jealous but just felt an ache for what could have been when I was with pregnant friends or newborns.

I really would appreciate any advice on how I might be able to support in the way that she was there for me. Any ideas of things that really helped from friends would be amazing. Thank you ❤️

Both my tfmr pregnancy and this sub pregnancy have been plagued by hyperemesis. There have been ups and downs this week but unfortunately today just sucks physically.

I'd hoped to spend today putting my attention to our daughter but instead I've been lying on the couch trying to not exist. Feeling sad and a little anxious as this sub pregnancy is taking a bigger toll than I'd anticipated and is putting a strain on both me and my partner while we also still have to grieve 😔

I need to vent for a moment.

I’m 2.5 years post-TFMR and expecting a baby boy in September. My mom has had some health complications. She lives far from me, and now that’s she’s healthy enough to travel, I’m so excited for her to meet our child in the fall.

Her friends got a little too excited and bought my baby several onesies with text on them. I’m SO NOT A FAN of what they say.

One says, “Hand Picked For Earth By My Grandpa In Heaven.” The one that really got to me was the text, “Grandma Has Waited A Long Time For Me.”

I feel so triggered by it. I know my mom grieved the loss too, but those friends of hers have no idea what I went through. Like, you don’t think my husband and I didn’t wait so long for this baby?!? Also, I know many women who tried for years and were never able to have kids of their own. It very much feels like they’re finding amusement in clothing with stupid text that brings up so many painful memories. I hate the onesies. I hate the gifters. I hate that my mom told me they meant well and she wishes I was more grateful.

I am 6+3 today after tfmr in December. I was suddenly hit with extreme nausea, fatigue and dizziness this week. The heat wave in Europe is definitely not helping and on top of everything I just got some sort of a virus. All of this is making me spiral and constantly google things like hypertension, preeclampsia and all sorts of other things. I am high risk for GD which is why for the past 2 weeks I haven’t had any refined sugar. I don’t want to complain about the pregnancy but it is making me so so anxious and scared that something horrible will happen to me or this baby. I am terrified that this is how I will feel for the whole pregnancy.

Is there anyone who is just more anxious in general after tfmr? I am not even mentioning the fear over chromosomal abnormalities, it feels like my anxiety has just grown in general :(

Hi everyone,

I’m going through a rough patch. I had to go through a heartbreaking TFMR at 26w in February 2026 for multiple anomalies detected on the 2nd tri US. Amnio came back normal. We launched the WGS at the beginning of of June.

TTC in June and fell pregnant on the first try. But now going through miscarriage at 5 weeks.
I’m so defeated. I’m 34, going on 35 this October.

I really need to hear positive stories right now - any of you gone through miscarriages after TFMR and ended up having a healthy baby?

Hi everyone,

I am currently 5 weeks pregnant following my TFMR at 25 weeks in feb. My baby boy was diagnosed with a number of life limiting complex heart abnormalities- microarray and amnio all came back negative- so was given the go ahead I could ttc whenever I felt ready.

PM results came back a couple of weeks ago that identified a couple of other dysmorphic features- wider set eyes and 1 low set ear (which I noticed after birth) during my PM meeting, my consultant advised they would refer to genetics in view of the findings- but once again said she was happy for us to try again as she understands how much having a baby can help with heeling. Im a Midwife at my local hospital and my consultant is absolutely amazing so would always trust her advise if she told me to wait for results.

A week later I found out I was pregnant- we have our genetics apt in a week time, unfortunately there isn’t enough substantial tissue to perform WGS, I think possibly they may be able to still do WES. I have been warned there is a possibility they won’t find an answer.

I have found myself spiralling now about what the results could mean for this pregnancy. Just to add- I have 2 healthy children from a previous relationship and my partner has a healthy daughter from a previous relationship- our baby boy was our first together.

I was just wondering if anyone has been through similar and what the outcome was?

I’m 7 weeks out from a TFMR at 27 weeks.

For context, I had an L&D with no complications, post-partum check at 3 weeks was all good and even showed a dominant follicle. I have PCOS and conceived with medicated cycles.

What was your experience? Any one also have a late starting period?

I’m ~9DPO and I took a pregnancy test because I’ve been feeling off. The line was faint but it was definitely a positive test ..I’ll continue to test throughout the next week but it’s so hard to feel fully excited. I tfmrd at 26 weeks back in February. We’ve been trying ever since but my cycles have been 50-60 days long so it’s been extremely frustrating. I’m really hoping that this is real and I can just be happy and move forward and have a different pregnancy experience this time around. Just ranting and hoping for the best while being cautious at the same time. I wish we didn’t have to be jaded