u/bopsybunny

After the sad loss of our 2nd baby girl at 22 weeks due to severe heart defects, being pregnant again was absolutely terrifying. My mental health has been such a challenge over the last year. Pregnancy after TFMR was a consistent struggle, a constant worry of something going wrong, alongside the intense grief of our TFMR angel.

At exactly 41 weeks, our 3rd baby finally arrived. He's absolutely perfect, and looks so much like both of his sisters.

I feel so at ease. He's here, he's safe, he's healthy, he's home 🩵

After having 2 girls (4yo daughter, then TFMR angel), finding out we were having a boy gave me mixed feelings. I was so relieved that he was healthy at his anatomy scan, but conflicted that the life I had imagined with my two daughters was no longer happening.

When we were TTC, I looked up at the stars and spoke to our TFMR angel and asked her to choose a baby from the souls of all the brothers and sisters she could have, and to send the one she thinks we need. She made a perfect choice. Our little boy has filled our hearts with so much love. I am absolutely smitten. He's the most special addition to our family, and ever more so because I feel like he is a gift from her.

I am currently 26+2 with my rainbow boy. I lost my angel baby girl at 22+4 in September 2025, and also have a living daughter aged 3.5. I conceived this baby immediately after my first post partum period. At this point I have been pregnant (or immediately post-partum) for over a year. This pregnancy has been really hard, mostly mentally/emotionally but as things are going its now also physically much harder. I'm exhausted, working full time, working towards a university degree, while raising my daughter and being pregnant.

I haven't had any therapy since my TFMR. It's a complicated situation but essentially I've bounced between services and promises have been unfulfilled and I'm still waiting to start with any formal/structured therapy, bereavement work, trauma work, etc.

I had been feeling fairly good lately, after clearing our fetal echo, 20 week scan, and uterine artery doppler and everything looking well with this baby.

I had an assessment call with a talking therapy provider a couple of weeks ago, and when prompted to talk about my loss it was like a dam burst and lots of (repressed?) feelings came out, and they haven't stopped.

I've been on edge and tearful every day since. Today I attended a "rainbow bump group" and after returning home I had another big "dam burst" and got a lot of feelings out to my husband, who also hadn't realised how much I had been suppressing my feelings.

I feel like an absolute mess. I probably need to take some time off work but I have no more sick days to take so it'll be on significantly reduced pay (SSP - I'm in the UK) which sucks, but I know I need to look after myself as such a vulnerable time.

I'm not sure what I want out of this post other than to write this down and get it out of my system.

Pregnancy after TFMR is so hard.