Heartbeat scan, the good and the slightly bad

I am 6+6 today, we went to see if our little bean has a heartbeat and there it was, measuring exactly 6+6. Everything is looking as it should so far.

Bad news is that I didn’t pass my glucose test, my exact numbers were 95 fasted, 123 after 1 hour and 136 after 2 hours. So I was already diagnosed with GD. I am insulin resistant which is why they made me do this test right at the beginning of pregnancy and I know that these standards can vary from country to country.

I have been pregnant 3 times and this is the first time that I have GD and obviously not the news that I wanted to hear.

I have joined the GD subreddit but I also wanted to ask you moms here if you had GD with any of your pregnancies, how was the management, how did you deal with it? I am very very nauseous and can barely eat anything, I started vomiting yesterday which makes me anxious that I can’t be on any kind of diet until I feel better. I cut out ALL refined sugars from my diet 3 weeks ago and I am willing to do what it takes to bring my numbers to normal, but right now the idea of any food is hard for me let alone vegetables and protein. Share your wisdom please 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 3 days ago

First trimester fears

I am 6+3 today after tfmr in December. I was suddenly hit with extreme nausea, fatigue and dizziness this week. The heat wave in Europe is definitely not helping and on top of everything I just got some sort of a virus. All of this is making me spiral and constantly google things like hypertension, preeclampsia and all sorts of other things. I am high risk for GD which is why for the past 2 weeks I haven’t had any refined sugar. I don’t want to complain about the pregnancy but it is making me so so anxious and scared that something horrible will happen to me or this baby. I am terrified that this is how I will feel for the whole pregnancy.

Is there anyone who is just more anxious in general after tfmr? I am not even mentioning the fear over chromosomal abnormalities, it feels like my anxiety has just grown in general :(

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 6 days ago

Struggling today

Hi everyone, I have been a regular posted since last December when I tfmr for t21 and structural anomalies. I have posted about the termination, all the emotions, then the decision to try again and now I am actually 4 weeks 5 days pregnant.

I have been disassociating hard the last couple of weeks and then had maybe one good day which was filled with hope and now for some reason I am extremely scared that this will end badly. I keep thinking that a body which didn’t do what it was supposed to do once, will make the same mistake again. I can’t imagine a good outcome today… This kind of started yesterday when I went to see my OB. She told me to go see the midwife who will start what we call here a “pregnancy book”. It is like a small notebook where all the info about pregnancy is collected, like all the blood tests and so on. The midwife started asking about my history, how many times I was pregnant, I said 3. She asked how many live births, I said 1 and then she said when was the “miscarriage “. I didn’t know what to say and I stalled but then told her that it was a termination at 15 weeks. She asked the reason and I said t21. So in my pregnancy book she put “2025 abortion t21”.

I know this doesn’t mean anything but I just didn’t want to have that info on this document, I don’t want every doctor that I will go to see this. I live in a country where technically termination for health reasons is almost fully banned and a lot of people have strong feelings about it. Now I feel like I will have to answer unpleasant questions when a doctor sees that note.

I really want to put this dark part of my life behind me, but now suddenly it feels impossible. Today I am reliving everything that went wrong last time and I feel like this isn’t a different pregnancy but the same one.

I don’t what I am asking here, everyone here has always been so kind, I was just hoping for words of encouragement 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 17 days ago

Positive

I posted a few days ago that I had a negative test. It was way too early to test. I waited 2 more days and … I got a faint positive. I did like 10 more and they kept coming back positive.

My period is supposed to start on the 17th of June, so it kind of still feels very early, but how am I already nauseous and feeling pregnancy hunger? According to my app I am 4 weeks.

I will have my blood hcg test on Monday, but it seems like I am actually pregnant again. Tfmr in December for t21 and structural abnormalities, currently 37 yo, LC is 8. I don’t know what to feel, I am just staying still and I am so hopeful 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 23 days ago

Due date

Today would have been my due date. If things were different I would maybe be holding my baby boy. I don’t really know what this feeling is, I am not as sad as I thought I would be, but there is this lingering emptiness I wish I could just leave behind.

I took a test today, way too early, and it was negative. Maybe it’s a true negative or maybe I have to wait a few days to know for sure but in my heart I thought „it would be a miracle and a sign from my baby if I find out today that I am pregnant again”. Well another sad moment to add to the bucket. But we move forward.

Sending everyone here love. You all are incredibly supportive in this space 💔

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 29 days ago

2 WW, TTC

The title says it all. This was our first cycle trying. I am trying to be calm and I repeat to myself that we did everything in our power and grateful it didn’t feel like a chore. I can’t control anything else so now I wait and hope for the best 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 1 month ago

Officially TTC

It’s been 6 months since tfmr - last December we had to say goodbye to the baby I waited for 5 years. It was a pregnancy that I prayed for and the younger brother of my LC. Saying goodbye broke my heart into pieces like nothing else before and I haven’t fully recovered yet.

After 6 months of therapy and considering different scenarios we started TTC. I feel numb, scared, sad and maybe a little bit excited and emotional in between. I am not fully processing this, feels like I am kind of disassociating, like this is happening to me rather than me being fully aware. If I start thinking about it too deeply I know I will start panicking, so I am just letting these thoughts flow away from me. Both of my pregnancies were conceived on the first try, so it scares me that same might happen again and yet it scares me that it won’t.

I don’t know if I am making any sense, but this community is the only place I can share these thoughts and feelings. So I guess if you are reading this, please send a prayer for us on this scary journey 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 1 month ago

Will I be a happy ending or just a sad story

TW: LC

TW: TTC

Hi friends. I have joined this sub in November or December last year when I had to move forward with a tfmr. I have an 8 year old LC and never had any fertility issues, both of my children were convinced on the first try.

After the tfmr something changed in my brain (probably like many others here). We are going to start ttc next cycle and I can’t help but think that I will end up in the same boat or start having a series of miscarriages or have all the other trisomies… I know that it is my brain trying to protect me from heartbreak again. But it doesn’t even let me have hope.

Yesterday my son cried for the very first time about the loss of his brother. He said that he really wanted a sibling but he didn’t believe it would happen. My instinct was to calm him down, to tell him that we have good doctors who were helping us and that my dream was also for him to have a sibling, without promising him anything that I can’t guarantee. But the truth is I often break down like that to my husband and only anticipate negative outcomes. Especially a week before my period I go into depression mode. And I feel ungrateful in the process because I know how many people actually go through multiple losses and still don’t lose hope.

If anyone struggles with this sort of extreme negativity post tfmr, how do you cope with it? I know that I am a natural pessimist and a lot of it comes from having lots of hardship as a child, but I feel like I need to have at least hope if we are set on trying. Thank you! And I am sorry, I have made similar posts in the past but last week was really challenging and I needed to share with a group that understands 💙

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 2 months ago

TW: LC

Hi everyone, I have joined this group in December 2025 when I had to tfmr my dear son at 15 weeks for t21 and multiple structural anomalies, hydrops and AVSD. It’s been almost half a year and for that whole time I was heavily grieving the loss of my baby.

This would have been my second child, my LC is 8. My husband and I were unsure if we should try again, but yesterday he finally told me that he wanted to try for another child one more time. I am 37, he is 39. We both want our son to have a sibling very much.

I know that there are no guarantees in pregnancy but I was wondering if you could offer your wisdom in terms of preparing mentally and physically for a pregnancy after tfmr. For context I am already in therapy, I take folic acid, coq10, vit D, DHA. I am currently on a diet to lose weight for the next 2 months, I exercise daily. Is there anything you would add to this list?

Is there any way to mentally separate the tfmr experience from a new pregnancy? I know that I could still be very unlucky but right now it seems like almost 100% truth in my mind that I WILL get another horrible experience. I would like to just maybe be able to think that having a healthy baby is also a possibility. Both of my pregnancies were conceived on the first try and I never had miscarriages before. We also have clear karyotypes, t21 was most likely a fluke.

Any kind words of encouragement would help in this scary uncertain time that a lot of us know too well.

Thank you so so much!

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u/Mikaela_EVN — 2 months ago