(TW: LC)

I'm lucky to have a 3YO girl. I've since struggled with miscarriage, ectopic, TFMR, infertility, and more. I am hoping to do an IVF transfer in a few months; if it takes, I'll *hopefully* have a ~4.5 year age gap. I really wanted a 2 year age gap. Do you think trying for another girl somewhat "reduces" that age gap? It so, I may need to do another egg retrieval first. Insurance thankfully will cover the cost. Do you think having 2 girls makes the age gap feel smaller? For those of you going through IVF, would you do another retrieval for a better shot at a girl?

I'm 4W post TFMR and I've been in hiding the whole time. It is a win if I even leave the house (alone). I think the first 2 weeks, maybe 3 weeks, my friends understood that I wanted space. But now I worry that it just looks like I'm being rude or dramatic. The thing is I can't imagine making any social plans whatsoever for at least another month, maybe more. How did you convey your pain and desire for isolation? And how did you ever muster up the courage to come out of hiding? (I'm an extrovert so this feels very different for me.)

Did you and your partner fight more while grieving? I think we are bickering more, disagreeing more, etc. I feel like the grief is related but we can't stop. Help! Did this happen to anyone else? Advice?

(TW: LC)

I'm lucky to have a LC. I'm unlucky in that I had a bunch of failed pregnancies and a TFMR after that and the age gap is growing larger and larger. To be clear, I'll be over the moon if I get any rainbow baby any time. For those of you with a larger-than-expected age gap, do you get over it with time, or does it always sting? (Like, if you have a 5th grader, do people say, "Wow! You have a preschooler?!")

If anyone here did PGT-M with Igenomix, how long did the whole process take? We (thankfully) already have frozen embryos but I want to add a PGT-M test for the inherited condition we recently terminated at 25W for. My clinic submitted the request to Igenomix a week ago and now both the clinic and Igenomix are ghosting me. I'm desperate to do a transfer and would really, really appreciate hearing how long intake to results took for anyone. Thank you!!

I'm 4W post-TFMR and my husband and I are desperate. Has anyone tried for twiblings (twin/siblings) - meaning, trying to conceive naturally or through IVF while also pursuing a surrogacy or adoption path? We want to maximize our odds of getting someone here and figure if we get two kids out of it, great! But It also feels like we are grieving and maybe not thinking rationally. Did anyone consider/pursue this?

I'm 3 weeks post TFMR today. For those 3+ months out, how long has it been, and what do you wish you had known about the healing process? I'm lucky to be off work for another 8 weeks (I hope/think) and spend most days just crying and scrolling my phone in bed, which is fine, but I'd love to hear other things that helped or things you learned when reflecting on how long it took.

Also, any tips for resuming intimacy with my partner? I'm dreading it but need to just do it for my own sake I think.

The subject says it all. I've been knee deep in the TFMR_support thread and this one and it seems like there are a million ways for a pregnancy to not work! So for this group: if you were able to get pregnant again, did you run into any challenges or surprises?

I'm 2.5 weeks post 25W TFMR and almost every day is brutal. I had a few days recently where I was trending slightly more functional/less sad, but then bad news about IVF timing and a friend's pregnancy set me back. My therapist suggested I may want to ask my OBGYN about looking into meds for PPD or similar.

For those of you on meds, did they help? If so, how far post TFMR did you start?

For those of you not on meds, when did time start to heal things more organically?

Thanks!

I recently had a 25W D&E and my doctor wrote me a note for 8 weeks out of work. I am in a very bad mental state and do not feel ready to go back in a few weeks. My work leave claim administrator, Lincoln Financial Group, is pretty strict. Has anyone had luck extending beyond the initial TFMR recovery period? If so, what combination of OBGYN and/or psychologist wrote for you, and under what reasons?

Any tips for navigating this would be much appreciated. Thanks!

I did my TFMR almost 3 weeks ago and now need to wait almost 3.5 months for various reasons to try again to get pregnant. It feels unbearable to wait that long. How did you all cope with the waiting?

If anyone here did PGT-M with Igenomix, how long did the whole process take? We (thankfully) already have frozen embryos but I want to add a PGT-M test for the inherited condition we recently terminated for. My REI is quoting me 2-3 weeks, but the geneticist at my REI clinic said it's more like 3 months. Does anyone have real life experience with this? Was there anything you did to speed it up?

I am almost 3 weeks out from a 25W TFMR. I have been avoiding everyone and am scared of my friends who were pregnant at the same time as me. But one of my local best friends just let me know (extremely nicely) that she's 16W pregnant, due in Feb, and it crushed me. New pregnancies feel like new bad news, that everyone else is moving on. Also Feb feels incredibly far away and yet there is no chance I will have a baby then. I was drowning in grief and now this feels even worse. Help. I have no plans to see her, which she is fine with, but how would you cope with the news?

I'm only 2.5 weeks post 25W TFMR. Obviously I am crying a lot and I'm 100% in hiding - I basically stay bed all day and don't answer texts. I chat with my husband and play with my toddler inside and that's it.

For those of you who have come out the other side of this: when did you start to be okay texting with people, taking phone calls, and eventually making social plans again? More importantly, how did you get there?

My husband has been (kindly) encouraging me to come out of hiding in any capacity but I'm just not ready (which is fine). It would just help to hear how long others hid for. And any tips for re-entry would be appreciated too.

I am lucky to have a toddler but I am dreading playground interactions - the semi-strangers, the babies, the pregnant people... it sounds like hell. How do I get past this?

Thanks!