u/Wonderful_Law_4166

Today after 6 weeks of TFMR I am returning back to work.

Feelings are mixed. I am somewhat excited going back go work, since I need a change of scenery and also it‘s going to be very hard, because everyone knew, that I was expecting. I am very lucky to have such great managers and colleagues, who are supporting me throughout the grieving process.

How was it for you going back to work? I am really afraid like being there physically…. To be reminded that I was pregnant and I would leave soon for maternity leave etc…

Why is TFMR still a taboo topic in our society?

Today 3 weeks ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy (22w) and became a Mother.

We took the decision to TFMR the wanted pregnancy because baby boy was diagnosed with T21 - and we didn’t want to bring a life into this world, knowing he would suffer till his very last breath. We already knew that he would have heart condition and that was just the beginning.

But coming back to my point - why is this still a taboo topic? Why do I have to feel guilty, when I took a decision, which was made (somewhat) out of love for my child? Why does our society have the need to let the parents know that we took the „wrong“ decision? Why giving us a guilt trip when we are already suffering/grieving?

We have lost our child, we had dreams for ourselves and our child. Yes, we had to make the most difficult decision in our entire life, doesn’t that mean we are not allowed to grief (e.g. openly) because we decided for TFMR? why are so many people so ignorant?

I know giving someone an opinion, is very easy - BUT only those are allowed to give you an opinion, when they have lived the same nightmare as you have - that is my opinion.

Or what do you think?

Sorry for the long post, it‘s probably just a part of grieving…