u/Wonderful_Law_4166

It has been a bit over 4 months since I TFMRed the wanted pregnancy (22weeks - through L&D) and I‘ve awaited till baby boys due date to TTC.

Right now, I am in my first cycle and I am 6 DPO. I am somewhat very (too probably) optimistic and then again terrified.

I know there is a high chance that I won’t get pregnant this cycle - I am just curious, how long did it take you guys get pregnant?

Trying to lower my own expectations 🥹

Today would have been baby boys due date… and literally 4 months ago - on April 7th he was born…

When I got to know that I was pregnant and August 7th would be his due date, I really wanted him to be born today, since it‘s also my father’s birthday. The thought of Grandfather and Grandson sharing the same birthday, I really loved it - and look where destiny brought me, I gave birth on April 7th.

To my beautiful baby boy:
Today would have been the happiest day in my life. There is no day passing, where I do not miss you. I love you Baby Boy!

Four months in heaven today. Forever loved, forever missed. ❤️‍🩹👼

Assalamu Alaikum

I am seeking some advice regarding our upcoming Umrah. In shaa Allah, we will perform Umrah in mid-October.

After spending a few days in Makkah, we will travel to Medina.
Our hotel in Medina is approximately 3 km from Masjid an-Nabawi. I would like to ask about your experiences with public transportation and ride-hailing services like Uber.

In some cities we’ve visited, Uber drivers often decline very short trips. Is it the same in Medina, or are short rides usually accepted? Would you recommend using Uber, taxis, buses, or another option?

We are a group of four, including my mother, who has difficulty walking long distances, so convenient transportation is important for us.

I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences and recommendations.

Thank you.

I‘ve come across about the influencer couple who openly said that they TFMR‘ed the pregnancy due to T21.

I also TFMRed my wanted pregnancy for T21 and honestly I am beyond triggered and devastated how people reacted to their story. How can people be so so so so cruel? Like keep your opinion to yourself. No one asked what you were thinking about it.

It sounds very harsh and cruel but I knew if I had shared the story, I would have gotten cancelled in my community aswell and that is just sick.

There should be a safe place for all mothers like us where we can share our stories, pain etc and not anonymously… It is just sad… I just don’t have any words.

I really hope, she can somewhat deal with her grief and she will find soon some peace. I hope she knows that she will have the support online in this group aswell. You are not alone in this process! I am so sorry that you had to join this club 💔

Yesterday was a really hard day for me. It has been now 50 days, since baby boy was born and passed way. 50 days where he would have been safely in my belly partying around if I hadn’t take the decision to TFMR.

I turned 32 yesterday. While everyone around me tried to make my birthday somewhat a little bit special, I felt horrible. I used to love celebrating my birthday since I was a little child.

All the emotions came again - the worst thoughts were: Baby Boy will never experience the joy of celebrating the birthday because of me. Baby Boy will never be able to open his birthday presents. Baby Boy will never have the birthday traditions that I already had imagined, when I saw the positive line on the pregnancy test, etc.

There is no Day where I do not miss my Baby Boy. Sometimes I wonder what kind of a horrible mother am I, because I terminated the wanted pregnancy because of Trisomy 21. I think that is just the grief speaking but thats how I feel.

Days are passing and I feel like, I am stuck in this world with a lot of pain and grief. I sometimes wonder when will I wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately never, because this is now my Story with my firstborn child.

Today after 6 weeks of TFMR I am returning back to work.

Feelings are mixed. I am somewhat excited going back go work, since I need a change of scenery and also it‘s going to be very hard, because everyone knew, that I was expecting. I am very lucky to have such great managers and colleagues, who are supporting me throughout the grieving process.

How was it for you going back to work? I am really afraid like being there physically…. To be reminded that I was pregnant and I would leave soon for maternity leave etc…

Why is TFMR still a taboo topic in our society?

Today 3 weeks ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy (22w) and became a Mother.

We took the decision to TFMR the wanted pregnancy because baby boy was diagnosed with T21 - and we didn’t want to bring a life into this world, knowing he would suffer till his very last breath. We already knew that he would have heart condition and that was just the beginning.

But coming back to my point - why is this still a taboo topic? Why do I have to feel guilty, when I took a decision, which was made (somewhat) out of love for my child? Why does our society have the need to let the parents know that we took the „wrong“ decision? Why giving us a guilt trip when we are already suffering/grieving?

We have lost our child, we had dreams for ourselves and our child. Yes, we had to make the most difficult decision in our entire life, doesn’t that mean we are not allowed to grief (e.g. openly) because we decided for TFMR? why are so many people so ignorant?

I know giving someone an opinion, is very easy - BUT only those are allowed to give you an opinion, when they have lived the same nightmare as you have - that is my opinion.

Or what do you think?

Sorry for the long post, it‘s probably just a part of grieving…