u/Even_Cut5481

What is Depression? Is it feeling blue every now and then? Feeling a bit under the weather? Is it a rainy gray cloudy day? Is it a lack of motivation or being tired? No, depression is so much more than that. Depression is a dark cold hole that sucks you in. It is a heavy weight that feels like your bones are crushing. It takes away your ability to think, shower, eat… so bad to the point where you can no longer function (I was starving myself to death). Depression will take your life from you but barley keep you alive so you can literally feel the pain. Depression will rip you away from your loved ones. Depression will leave you speechless, unable to talk to your own children. Depression takes everything from you and leaves you with nothing. Your eyes only see darkness even in the sun. You can no longer hear, everything is muffled and your mouth won’t seem to produce anything. It is all consuming, you can not escape it. Its the end of your life, but you are still alive. But then somehow in the middle of the abyss you see a pin hole of light in the distance, but you can’t quite get to it. You want to so badly reach the light but you can’t move. Your legs have decided to stop working. After sometime, the lights starts looking like hope. You can barley see it, but you know its there. You start crawling towards the light with everything inside your heart and soul (whats left of it). Inch by inch you move a little bit further but the light keeps moving away from you. You keep going with every fiber of your body. After what feels like a century you reach the light. You can feel the warmth. You haven’t felt anything but despair for so long. For the first time in ages you feel hope… but you’re still in a hole. You start to claw at the light making the hole a little bigger, you finally start seeing a way out of the darkness. You are so weak at this point, but you start digging, you dig and dig and dig. Finally, the ground breaks and you are flooded so much sunshine that its blinding and you can feel the heat on your face. After you re-enter the world again, everything seems so different. Nothing feels the same as it was before. Colors seem so much brighter, your notice the little details of the world around you. You can see, hear and talk again. As you come out of the hole you feel overwhelmed with life again. You have to learn how to live again. Going to the depths of Hell will change you to the core. Life can never be the same again. In the end, having a second chance at life was worth the pain.