Asexual virgin or just low libido?
(19 F) I've only been with 1 guy (18 M) and the most we've done is kiss. We've been dating for about 6 months, but we've never actually called each other bf and gf nor discussed intimacy. There are some times that I feel like he wants to do more but I tell him that i'm okay with sticking with what we're doing like holding hands, kissing, cuddling etc. I've been researching about asexuality, and I feel like I might align with that, and I'm a virgin. Growing up I've never really been interested in having sex, either because I'm scared of revealing myself or scared of it being an experience that I don't enjoy. iI'm also confused that sometimes see a celebrity crush or someone attractive and think I have no interest to have sex with them. Maybe it's just low libido, or that I'm not even sexually attracted to him at all an its just emotional attraction? He knows I am on SSRIs (but I'm not sure if he knows that a possible side affect is very low libido and sexual dysfunction. I've also never come out to anyone before. I do eventually wanna tell him, I know he is very supportive about LGBTQ people I'm just afraid that I've come so far in the relationship I feel like I'm being selfish for not wanting to take things further and telling him so late. The last time I was with him he asked "is it okay if I kiss you" and I told him no. I just feel really guilty for rejecting him when he asks to be close, even though he respects my decisions. I feel like there definitely is a sexual attraction gap between us.
I'm open to comments and suggestions, hopefully this can help me become more open about it :)