What is empathy?
Hi Folks.
37, male. Empathy is so misunderstood. I'd be interested if anyone experiences the same as myself. If I do something wrong, I feel terrible, guilty and self flagellate for years about it. However, I feel incapable of forgiving myself.
Recently, I've been wondering whether or not I am actually projecting the pain of the other person onto myself and truly empathising or if it's actually just the case that I'm attacking myself as a form of hopeful self cleansing.
In that respect, I'm not entirely sure what empathy actually is. Is it empathetic to hurt ourselves when we hurt others? That seems to be my only understanding of what might approach empathy. Some form of bizarre repentance? I can't really objectively empathise. If indeed that is a thing.
In all cases, I feel absolutely able to hurt myself in the way that I feel I have hurt others (and indeed I do this regularly). I have OCD and intrusive thoughts.. however, I'm not convinced that I am really empathising.
I am not diagnosed with NPD but do have Narc. Traits. My father was a narcissistic abuser, it's not difficult to see where it came from. Fascinated to see if any other folks here have experienced a strange relationship with "empathy" and a struggle to really understand what it is.
Empathy seems to a word that is banded around. What does it actually mean to you?
Cheers,
J