AITA for wanting my unemployed SIL to move back to her parents' house to care for her son?
My husband, our two kids, and I live in a property owned by my in-laws. My sister-in-law (SIL) also lives here. Before, she was more like a housemate—she paid her share of food and utilities, and she cooked for everyone every now and then. I work from home, so she doesn’t babysit our kids, and when my husband and I go on dates, our kids go to my parents.
Two years ago, SIL got laid off and still hasn't found a job. She claims she’s looking, but I rarely see her leave the house. I work from home, so I know she is literally always here during the day. On the rare occasions she actually does go out, it is usually at night—and she is definitely not wearing business casual or interview attire. Yet, she still claims she's actively looking for work. She still cooks from time to time, but we now pay for 100% of the ingredients, and she no longer contributes to the utilities at all.
Recently, I asked my husband to talk to her about moving back in with his parents. SIL has a son whom she left with my in-laws to raise. She barely sees him—she only goes back to her parents' house for a few days during the holidays. Her son's birthday is also close to the holidays, so she just treats it as an "all-in-one" visit and that's it for the year. My logic is that if she has nothing to do here and isn't working, she should at least go back and take care of her own son.
My husband got defensive. He said she can't move back there because it’s "too far" (they live about 4 to 5 hours away) and she’s looking for work in our area. When I pointed out her routine, he told me I’m just judging her and looking for an excuse to kick her out.
For additional context, my SIL is way older than my husband and is actually the oldest sibling in their family. I highly suspect this is the real reason my husband refuses to confront her, as there's a dynamic where he feels he can't challenge her authority or stand up to her, even when she's taking advantage of us.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable. If you have a child that someone else is taking care of, wouldn't you be happy to be reunited with them while you're between jobs? I've even said I would be fine if her kid moved in here with us. I just don't understand why she chooses to stay here without her child. Maybe she just likes living the single life while we foot the bill, who knows.
AITA for wanting her to leave, at least until she finds a job around here?
EDIT for clarity, since there are multiple questions: I pay half of everything now (food, utilities, repairs, etc) and property taxes (we are not in the US, and my husband and I got the house redone, it was old and infested), and my husband the other half 50/50. The two of us also paid a one-time fee of a large amount to start living there, so I think the inquiries of rent doesn't apply and the land is fully paid for, there's no mortgage or fees for owners to constantly pay, only the property taxes that we pay.
LAST EDIT: I will talk to my husband about it again and just say that Ill only be paying the old share that I was paying. He'll need to pay her share if she can't pay for it. It might motivate the both of them to do something, anything. We are also waiting on a pre-selling house and lot, but that would still take a few years. I just realized it can look like I just got married and steamrolling her. We've been living here for over 5 years and married for about a decade.