Am I overthinking this.
I (28F) got my first job at a company where my dad used to work. I come from a South Asian background, while my boss, who was from an African background let's call yucky, worked in HR and I was the assistant. As I gradually settled into the company, I started to understand what kind of person he was.
He would often start conversations by talking about how his wife was “lazy” and how she didn’t cook or clean. Keep in mind, they had house help. His wife was also caring for a special needs child and a newborn daughter recovering from a heart defect. At first, many people, including me, felt sorry for him because it sounded like a difficult situation.
However, I started noticing a pattern.
He seemed to seek sympathy, especially from women, and would often ask them to go out during work breaks or after office hours. We had three different receptionists during my time there, and I strongly believe he was one of the reasons they left. They were all fun, friendly Asian women, and the situation always seemed uncomfortable around him. So, i became besties with my friend (31F) she didn't like his advances and thought he was disgusting. Everyone at work knew about it. Including me. I used to never talk to him alone because of this weird behavior he had. He was a bit racist.
To make things worse, not once but twice he said, “Why can’t she move back to where she came from?” despite the fact that I was born in this country and he wasn’t. Yes, my family originally comes from another country, but we have lived here since 1975. My parents depend on me and my sibling, which made those comments feel even more upsetting and unfair.
I was eventually terminated in November, but that is another story. My friend Dia and Yuckyq, would sometimes come to work early. Since I am disabled, I occasionally had to take days off for doctor appointments and emergencies. On days I wasn’t there, my friend would panic and tell me about his behavior. She even started keeping recordings because of how inappropriate he was. I personally witnessed some of it too. He would purposely hug her, find excuses to shake hands, and ask her out on dates even though she was engaged and loved her boyfriend.
Apparently, everyone knew what was going on, but no one said anything. I wanted to speak up, but we were all afraid we might get terminated.
Over time, everyone gradually started avoiding him because of the way he behaved, and we started talking less. One day, he asked me why I was acting weird. I said I believe in social distancing because I can technically say that since I'm a disabled person and get sick often. He hated that we didn't laugh and talk to him about about normal sutff. Just work-related stuff. Someone at work told me that Yucky thought we were all being A-holes for not including him in our jokes and avoiding him.
Over time, Yucky's behavior changed, and he got a promotion, but I didn't, despite the fact that I did everything there. He got a great promotion and finally asked my friend dia to go out s** outing and she refused. Then 2025 came and he got a side chick. Who btw stole my job.🙃 I'm still jobless right now. He got rid of dia because she didn't agree to him so she went on a vacation in june and when she came back she got fired and had a replacement of hers. And my replacement aka his gf stole my job and said i didn't know to work and it's sad that I'm sick otherwise i could find a job.
And I am traumatized with what happened to me. I can't do legal stuff because I'm broke🤧