u/EverythingUndaDaSun

Please delete if not allowed!

So I asked to receive some answers for a situation. And that was successfully obtained, although on a short time frame, I got what I needed to know. Although the answers were to say the least shocking, but they make sense. Now I’m on my next quest, Learning spiritual hygiene and removing a generational curse that was weakened. Any tips and tricks are appreciated, I’ll look into other sub Reddits to get some more insight and do more research. Again, thank you guys so much for the energy, it’s deeply appreciated.

Please delete if not allowed!

Hello, I have been working a dead end job for a while, but I'm currently on leave (PDL unpaid). I have a BASW degree, I studied child welfare; I have also interned at DPSS for 9 months as well as worked at a non-profit half way house for troubled teens and runaways. I was hoping to see if I can find a SW position or if anyone knew of one, that is something in between of taxing work and work-life balance. Currently on the west coast in CA (Southern/Inland Empire).

I don't have the time or money to go back to school. And the job I currently work at has possible SW jobs but it's not 100% confirmed or available if they do have them. I don't want to expose my job, but I will say that I can a Cook and I absolutely hate it. I know I can do more and want to do more. Any help/tips/tricks are greatly appreciated!

I just need to vent, but also see if anyone thinks I’m crazy for thinking this. A few days ago, my FIL soiled himself and went to the other side of the house (living room) to remove his soiled diaper and clothing. MIL saw and tried to guide him to their room so she can clean him up and change him. FIL got resistant and aggressive and he clung to a closet door frame (we live in an old mobile home, so we have little random pantries here and there). He was stomping on her feet, kicking her shins, he didn’t want to get changed. She was behind him, and had grabbed him from around his waist and was trying to pull him away from the door. I called to inform my husband, and he told me to remove myself from the situation and that his mom has it under control. I told my husband that I’m about ready to call LE because this is getting out of control. He asked me “And what are the cops gonna do?” I got so pissed, I hung up on him, MIL retrieved FIL’s walker to help transport him to their room. My FIL went to the living room and sat on the ottoman. MIL was trying to get him on the walker but FIL was getting more angry and resistant. She got him to stand, and he was using the treadmill as support. He kept yelling at MIL that she couldn’t make him move. He punched her in the face, not hard so it wasn’t full on WWE/Mortal Kombat style punches. I did tell my husband as he did end up calling me back and I was in such a state of panic, and anger I just ended up not calling the cops. She was eventually able to transport him for a diaper change. Once I got off the phone with my husband, I informed my Psych., my therapist, and father who in which, all agree that FIL is going to be, or is, out of scope of care (for staying with us I mean). I was told by my therapist that this is on the verge/does warrant a call to APS. I am waiting to see if my husband is willing to join me on a session to help me communicate the issue constructively and gently and to give us the option to either call it in ourselves, or let therapist call it in. (Husband is stubborn and is very go with the flow, we shall wait and see, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there kinda guy.).

I love my husband and genuinely, he is such a tender heart. A giant teddy bear even and he is protective of his family and doesn’t want to lose his dad. But I believe that once baby is born and if she survives, she is going to need more care (meds, O2 monitoring, cardiologist appointments, follow ups and everything else that comes with carrying for a baby.) she will be high needs like FIL, but her needs are going to be much higher. I believe and from my observations and experience, it’s time for FIL to go into memory care. Husband is worried that if his dad goes into care, UHC with pursue FIL’s assets and the house is really FIL’s only asset and that’s the house we all currently live in. We have no where else to go; I did try and tell husband to get POA and such before things got worse and he didn’t want to listen. So, I let him learn the hard way, which is gonna be facing APS and having to sit down and listen to me as I tell him how I feel, how he’s been making me feel etc. (cause anytime I tried to get through to him, he shuts down on me regardless as to how gentle I am and validating of his feelings I am). Again, my husband is an amazing person, and I have nothing but good things to say about him. He’s treated me so well I can’t put it all into words, but with the possibility of losing our unborn daughter, and his FIL’s brain shutting down, and my health/mental health, has piled up and is weighing him down causing him to avoid facing what is to come.

If unborn baby doesn’t make it, then we still have to worry about our niece (SIL is currently pregnant with our niece) and nephew as they’ll be babysat by MIL which makes 3 people in diapers. And she cannot manage the 3 of them by herself. And if our daughter makes it, it will make 4 in diapers with 2 (daughter and FIL) being high needs of varying degrees. Husband works full time, I’m on leave. I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to care for my daughter freshly post partum and helping with my niece and nephew by myself as husband helps his mom with his dad. Either way, it leads to FIL not being able to be cared for and will end up in MC. I don’t even know or think I’ll be able to return to the work force and if I’m lucky enough to do so, it’ll be work from home. Which is fine, I don’t mind it, but I have a really good paying job at the moment and look forward to returning to it once I am able to if possible.

A couple things to consider: My MIL is small, and only has so much strength, I’m in a high risk pregnancy with PTSD and a few other mental health issues that are being treated through medication/therapy, FIL is on Seroquel 50mg and Mementin (Idk if I spelt that right, IDK the dose).

Any insight, help, or telling me I’m crazy or not will be helpful. I regret not calling the cops heavily, but here in the US, our system is entirely fucked. I don’t know if they woulda been able to do much or would’ve to begin with.