r/dementia

A little update

previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/dementia/s/j40WBEXRaR

I moved my mom into a memory care home this Thursday. The facility is actually a large villa and feels much more like a family home than a hospital. Nothing fancy, but ok. The staff seem genuinely kind and experienced with dementia.

After speaking with the doctor, they advised me not to make the goodbye too emotional. They told me to tell my mom I was just going to the pharmacy for a few minutes, and then leave. I understand why they do it—it helps residents adjust to the new environment—but I won't lie, it broke my heart. I just hope she doesn't fully understand what's happening.

Today my husband and I went to visit her. She was sitting outside in the garden reading with the other residents. She was clean, dressed, and seemed fairly calm. She was happy to see me. We told her we were having some work done at the house and that she'd only be staying there for a little while. After that she became very quiet.

The director told me she hasn't had any angry outbursts so far. She does tend to isolate herself sometimes, but overall she's doing okay.

After about an hour we left again, telling her we were going grocery shopping. As we were leaving, she asked, "Can't I come with you?" And my heart broke all over again.

I know this is what's best for her. Keeping her at home wasn't really a better option anymore—she spent most of the day watching TV with caregivers she didn't want in the house, and every other day there was another crisis that I had to deal with. Still, I find myself getting really sad whenever I think about it.

I don't know how aware she really is. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks I've abandoned her.

For those of you who've been through this, how did you make peace with those feelings?

My mother must be stage 4 or stage 5. She has problems with memory, executive function and incontinence. She seems to be doing a bad job of cleaning her dishes. There are still small bits of food left in her dishes after she cleans them. It seems to be getting worse over time. She also seems to have lost her sense of cleanliness. Our floor is often dirty but my mother will often drop things on the ground and then pick them up and eat them. There are so many other things I worry about with her and I am already so exhausted but I wonder if this is something I should worry about as well or if its not a big deal ? Is this normal?

I know I’m not but sometimes I feel horrible at the thoughts I would never say out loud.

My MIL is in her 6th year of dementia and going on 2 years in MC. It’s been rough and those years when she was still in her home were traumatic. I think the stress of that experience took a few years off of my life and my husband’s life. It sucked.

Now, thankfully, she’s in a safe place but it’s another, different level of hell. Every time I see her act in ways that would absolutely mortify her if her “old self” could see it makes me die inside a bit. I mean, she would be 100% painfully mortified and horrified and I truly believe she’d rather be dead. I hate how when her grandchildren come to visit a few times a year - the ones she wanted so badly for years and never got to enjoy thanks to dementia happening shortly after their births - she isn’t the least bit interested in them and seems to be annoyed by their presence. The joy of being a grandma was stolen from her. It’s so unfair. I dread our weekly visits because it’s awful to see her like that and all the other people there make me sad too. I wonder what they were like before and now they’re reduced to empty shells of people sitting around a facility that constantly smells like urine. It’s clean but it smells like urine in there 24/7. I hate it. I hate this disease. I hate that people end up like this and linger for years and years and years. I’ve talked to other families and the emotional and financial toll it takes is devastating.

The staff love her for certain personality traits she has that are night and day different from how she was. That’s a good thing in a way but it’s so weird to hear them say things about her that don’t line up with the person I knew. And she wouldn’t like it either!!! Not one bit. She’d be embarrassed.

I also think she would hate that all of her money is going to her care and there will be nothing left to leave to her grandchildren. She’ll probably run out at some point and which means a lot of work for us to get her on Medicaid and probably moving her again. She wouldn’t want that either.

I feel like a bad person because I wish she would die. I think she’d want that though. But it doesn’t feel good to wish a human being was dead. She’s in perfect physical health so likely this will go on for many more years. Maybe 10 or more is possible.

Sorry for this ramble. I’m psyching myself up for our weekly visit and I’m going to have to push through dealing with the urine smell and seeing her new personality and decline on full display. And wishing she wasn’t going through this. And selfishly wishing we could get our life back too.

Thanks for reading.

I find myself in an impossible situation. I’ve been begging for my mom to be admitted geriatric psychiatric for MONTHS due to her continued refusal of anything, initially beginning with refusal of socialization and continually escalating over the last year to the point of refusing to get out of bed, eat, drink, and being content to lay in her own excrement in a room without any entertainment whatsoever including no television. After a bout in the hospital, where she retained urine, causing kidney failure, and wasn’t coherent enough to refuse care, she was transferred to skilled nursing to rehabilitate, but of course, she starting refusing care again as soon as she became coherent. Geri-psych facility finally approved her, but now they won’t admit her without her first being medically cleared and treated for a UTI (a UTI she did NOT have for the past YEAR when this terrible pattern of refusal first began and that she didn’t have a week ago in the hospital). Has anyone else dealt with a similar standoff? What do you do?

ER won’t admit for a “UTI” and also said “can’t force her,” despite me having durable POA.

Skilled nursing also won’t “force her,” even letting her refuse food and water.

Assisted living can’t let her back unless she is somewhat ambulatory (and she refused to get out of bed for them).

Psych will admit her but only if she’s treated for the UTI she is refusing treatment for.

Hello, sorry for the typos but I’m extremely burned out. My father got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last March, and was pretty normal until January this year. In March of this year he fell, and then he rapidly declined. Went from one SNF, came home a week, fell first night again, went to another SNF for a month, came out in wheelchair and incontinent. Brought him home and again fell that same night trying to get out of bed, so got hospitalized and another SNF where he declined more. We live together and I wanted him home to care for him, so figured hospice would be the best bet for a little help. I know they are not here 24/7 but atleast I had resources, and medication delivery since it’s just me my wife and our 3 kids all under 6.

Here’s where it gets hard. He came home Friday and since then he has progressed so fast, it’s like every day is months to a year in what people have with Alzheimer’s. Friday he kind of knew where he was and talking about needs like water/food. The weekend started very vivid hallucinations, I’d check on him in bed every 30mins and he would be going off on random things or people at his bedside etc. This past Monday he stopped eating and drinking and couldn’t swallow. Tuesday he fell asleep, and has not woken up. Hospice has tried to help but really has been no help at all it feels. They tell me to give him morphine every two hours since then, which I have. Then the nurses who come in seem to all have their own procedures. Give him it every hour, give it to him in pain which he’s asleep and I can’t tell, then they say look for cues, which his face kind of flinches when I move him, but one nurse says it’s just his body and he does not feel the pain. Then one nurse says he does feel it give morphine. So it has been me and my wife since Tuesday switching off doing the meds with his body shutting down. And the terrible part is, yesterday I was running out of morphine and they ordered it STAT at 1030am and I have yet to recieve that or Ativan 24hours later as Ive nearly ran out. They ordered a fentanyl patch 2 days ago, which finally came yesterday at 4pm, and it takes 24 hours to kick in. Everyone that comes in says hours he has left, and I’ve said my goodbyes 10 times now. I’m a mortician and grew up around death my whole life, but this is totally diffrent. I’m trying my best to care for him, but hard to grieve, be a medical professional while getting terrible instructions, then when he finally passes put on my work shoes and become a funeral director for him.

Sorry for the rant, but my main question is I fell like this is not dignified. It’s been stretching for so long, I know he would not want this. I asked for a morphine drip since it’s hard to get the meds in his mouth sometimes, and maybe something stronger to let him transition pain free if he is in pain. I’m ready to call 911 for transport and have him placed in the hospital where they can give him the meds he needs. I’ve been awake since Tuesday, trying to switch out with my wife, but we have 3 kids that need us as well. So mostly been me with him. Has anyone been in my position before? Drop hospice and have them taken to hospital for care while actively dying? He wanted to be home, but if he saw himself now, the stress it’s put on his family he wouldn’t have wanted to be home. I’m type 1 diabetic and it’s getting me sick but trying to make his end of life comfortable. I feel like I failed that and I need help. It happened so quick and a holiday weekend i haven’t even been able to hire caregivers. I have no idea what to do

Every morning, for the past 2.5 years, I've given my mom a thing of Activia yogurt and a 4 or whatever oz thing of Ensure.

For the past week, she's been (still) eating the yogurt but, at most, only drinks half of her Ensure.

And, this morning, she didn't drink more than a sip.

Which has happened a couple of times, recently.

(The other day it took her thing mornings to drink one Ensure.)

I give her her Ensure in the container, which might be a problem, but I'm really considering whether I want to give her her Ensure in a cup.

(Much less hand feed her, like a baby.)

What's the point?

What are we prolonging?

Especially since she doesn't show any signs of hunger -- snacking or looking for more food -- after eating her yogurt.

Thoughts?

P.S. There are a lot of people who think, "OF COURSE YOU GIVE THEM ENSURE. HOWEVER." and all can think is "What's the point?"

P.P.S. Do living wills address the topic of hand/baby-style feeding? They should.

P.P.P.S. In part, I'm asking if I need to go the putting the Ensure in a cup route; is that crossing a line there's no point in crossing? Of course, as I type this, I glanced at her not drinking the kefir I just gave her -- in a cup -- so that likely answers my question. Bottle or cup doesn't make a difference. She's just not as hungry.

My mother is in the process of getting an Alzheimer's diagnosis. She's done the MRI (showing shrinkage) and bloodwork (showing Tau & A-beta markers) and a cognitive test (which she did very well on, 29/30). Still to come are PET scan and neurologist follow-up, but it seems pretty clear that this is where she's heading. Her medical record currently says "mild cognitive impairment, likely due to Alzheimer’s." We're told that the neurologist is going to discuss the 2 options for infusions that could clear the amyloid plaques for a period time.

We're starting to look at "continuum of care" facilities where a person can live in officially Independent Living, Assisted Living, or Memory Care as needed. She currently lives alone and does very well with that, and she loves her independent life.

My question: Is it likely that these facilities will require a medical assessment before agreeing to a contract with her, and would the "MCI likely due to Alzheimer's" mean she wouldn't be allowed to start at the Independent Living level? Or does this vary by facility? (I realize the next step is to call the facilities and ask, but I'm trying to avoid them establishing a file on her before we're ready.)

Thanks in advance for guidance or insight!

My father's mother clearly has dementia or Alzheimer's. It's been steadily getting worse over the years, but she's never been diagnosed because she won't go to a doctor. Last December, my FIL was finally able to get her to go WITH him under the guise of a "dual annual check up" at their primary care doctor. During that visit, my brother in law was hiding in the hallway to covertly tell the doc what we all have been observing, so the Dr. gave them a referral to a memory specialist to have her evaluated for this issue. They made an appointment for her to see the specialist, but the wait was 4 months.

Around the time of the expected appointment, we called my husband's brother to see how the appointment went, and he had forgotten about it. I was shocked because my husband and I were so hopeful that this could open the door to getting help. So, he called the specialist's office and found out that they had called the home phone number to reconfirm the appointment and my MIL answered the phone and CANCELLED IT. So frustrating!! Why would a receptionist take the word of the PATIENT, that they don't need to be seen for their memory issues?!

Meanwhile, she calls us all the time, convinced that her husband (almost 90) is cheating on her with a teenage girl. The story evolves every time someone anyone questions the details, names of people, where they live, how she knows... She's gotten to the point where she tries to work it into ANY conversation you have, so it's very fatiguing to talk to her because you are trying to constantly steer away from that topic. She just wants to vent and cry and get sympathy. He did cheat on her, but it was 50 years ago and not with a teenager. It's like she's re-living this horrible memory constantly, and it must be awful.

She is now becoming violent whenever someone tells her she is mistaken or suggests that she needs to see a doctor. She assaulted my husband while he was visiting their home yesterday (he flew in the day before). It just seems like nobody is doing anything because they are afraid of her or have given up on trying to get her to be evaluated. I feel like my husband's family is missing out on potential local services that would help get her out of the house for activities to focus on other things, instead of screaming at her "cheating" husband all day in their house. Whenever we talk to them on the phone (we live in another state), we hear her YELLING at him in the background. He has been pretty patient, but I imagine that the stress of this could shorten his life or make him wish to end it.

I've had serious conversations with my brother and sister in law about calling APS to do a check on her, because he has called me (and them) several times with talk of wanting to harm herself. They think she is just bluffing for attention, and that she's not really going to do it. Any ideas on how to handle this as the "out of state daughter in law"? Should I just let them deal with it or stick my nose in and make that call, possibly angering everyone in my husband's family?

This is the third time I am calling the cops. Yesterday was my first day at my new job, and I was getting ready for work, and my mom just started spazzing out having a mental break down, acting very emotional, and yelling. I told her I will call the cops if she doesn’t calm down, she didn’t so I called them. Sorry if this wasn’t the best idea.. but I’m trying to put my foot down…. Apparently, like you guys said people with dementia you have to treat them like children, and I’m not trying to treat her like a child or treat her like I have authority over her… but like I just don’t know what to do. I’m only 29 years old. I’m uneducated in this field

They came, and my mom was on the phone with my brothers wife.. and she’s just coming at me, saying IM the PROBLEM, and that my mom needs to put her foot down, and kick me out, and take me to court, and I should’ve never moved back in. And is giving my MOM advice on what to say to the cops (because my brother and his wife are/were cops)

So I’m just baffled like, only if you knew the stuff my mom says about you, yet you’re defending her. She’s telling my mom not to get emotional, because that’s what I want, to get her emotional and to make her look crazy, and that I want her house…and she’s goin to help her get me kicked out the house….

So the cops come and the ambulance, and my mom is going CRAZYYYYYY, she’s breaking down, yelling, talking about how Barack Obama came to her house to use the bathroom room and that I said she was lying and what’s the big deal? And as she’s saying that my brothers wife, is calling my mom name and is like STOP TALKING !! STOPPPP!!! STOPPP!! And my mom would not STOP…. Barack Obama came to my house when he was campaigning , he used my bathroom…. The paramedics asked her who was the president and then my mom struggled to answer the question and one of the officers were talking to me he said yeah I can see that she just struggled right there to answer that question… and I’m showing them what she scored on her MMSE test and what that is, I’m showing them that she had to get tested for dementia, but she hasn’t been diagnosed yet… pretty much they said they couldn’t do nothing because she answered all their questions and she seems to basically be alive and aware….

So after they leave, I go into work, which is my first day, I worked from 3pm to 4am… and then it took me two-3 hours to get home… and as I was working all day this was in the back of my head, I do not have a key to the house.

I know she’s not gonna let me in… and my assumptions came true….. I had to call out of work, which I have to be there for 3pm again… and it’s currently 10:35am….. i spoke to my aunt and she said my sister said my mom won’t open the door because I’m telling everyone she’s crazy….

And I’ve called her phone Atleast 150 times. She won’t answer, and she actually accidentally called me back.. I’ve been knocking and she won’t answer….

And now I just called the cops again…. To deal with a lockout….

I’m tired, my feet hurts I’ve been walking all day, I’m starving, I’m sleepy. I’m genuinely trying to help my mom and she’s just fighting me and fighting me and fighting me… I’m trying to also get my life together, and she knows I need a place to stay while I get back on my feet and she’s just being spiteful and petty…. And controlling… this lady needs help.. no one in my family is willing to help me….. NO ONE.. idk if they are just waiting for her to die, to get her house and maybe her 401k.. or something.. idk man they my brother said I need to leave her to live by herself, but that doesn’t solve anything… which, I can’t, if I could I WOULD.. BUT IM BROKE MY CREDIT IS SHOT…..I LIVE IN NYC FOR GOD SAKES ITS HORRIBLE OUT HERE……But how are we supposed to be a family at a family reunion or a family gathering if she still has dementia and doesn’t get diagnosed or the help she needs.. me leaving won’t fix anything… she constantly complains to my aunts how she’s lonely…

I’ve already contacted APS by filing a forum.. about 3-4 days ago. Idk how long this will take I’m going to submit another one….

I know I keep coming on here and venting about this whole family situation but it’s like damn nobody in my family is wanting to help her. It’s like they’re all scared of her.

Everyone has their own husband or wife and kids and their own home and I’m the last child. The baby child of the family and I have really basically nothing but free time besides working….

Father in laws with Dementia had his wife pass in January. Decline and mental
Fog and what I call time slips are picking up. Yesterday he was asking about contacts on his phone and looking for his wife’s contact. She passed this January. It took a few seconds before he remembered she passed. What do
I do when he does not remember or is stuck in a time when she is alive and does not understand she passed. We are not aggressive but he gets stuck in a time slip and at times it’s easier to play along with his version of reality. What’s work, what has not.

please somebody help i don't know what to do. i am so tired of people saying "reach out for help" "get support if you need it". I am 24 year old sole carer for my mum with dementia, except i'm not a carer because I don't help with her daily living needs like bathing, dressing, cooking. i live in the UK and i applied for a needs assessment for her which got rejected i applied for a carers assessment which got rejected, i applied for PIP for her 8 months ago and it's still being reviewed, applied for blue badge 8 months ago and still being reviewed. No support from GPs. They kept dismissing my concerns, it took 1 year to get her diagnosed and I had to keep pushing.

There's no support with legal and financial issues. Because of her dementia I have to manage all her finances, she's signed up to scams forgot to pay our dogs pet insurance, now my dog has health issues and i have to pay out of pocket and it's thousands ongoing cause she has a chronic condition.

My mum is an immigrant who has assets in her home country and never registered my birth there. She doesn't even know if her assets are registered in her name. Navigating will and POA in home country can't even be started before all that's sorted and I've been trying to sort through that for a year with no support because I can't afford a lawyer.

I work full time but she has so many overlapping health conditions, i have to monitor all of them she has several appointments a week, it's exhausting advocating it's almost like going to court multiple times a week and repeating everything each time and convincing doctors to help. I am so behind on work, and GPs refuse to accomodate like take blood pressure readings over the phone - has to be in person.

Then there's will and POA in UK to sort out which costs so much money, and is so complicated as well and there's no support for that.

We are also in the process of moving house because my dad kicked us out, again, no support in finding accessible accommodation or legally in terms of future care planning and working out whose name to register the new property in.

Now my dad wants to divorce her and again, that means more lawyers with no support.

I know I don't qualify as a carer, but it's so much to have to sort out all by myself whilst watching my only support disappear completely and grieve her everyday. She is so apathetic and does not care anymore. No one acknowledges that we used to share a load of the household chores, like she used to do the supermarket shopping because being autistic i really struggle at the supermarket, and we'd share household work and taking dog to vet appointments but now that all falls on me and i don't have the energy or time. I'm so exhausted and there genuinely is just no support.

I was told not to go to support groups since I don't fall into the age demographic so they wouldn't be helpful.

I'm constantly receiving so much pressure to get everything sorted and I genuinely have nobody. I don't know what to do. I'm so exhausted of living months of this and I only know it will get worse. I'm so scared i keep having panic attacks and losing weight because i can't eat and i miss my mum and im scared

My father passed away a week ago. Only now am I realizing how bad his dementia was. He was someone you could categorize as having a high cognitive reserve, and I believe that hid it.

In the last few years, it was clear he had dementia, but I thought it was mild. He was living alone and would get confused: He started watching sports over tv shows as I don't think he could follow the storyline. But he was able to have a good conversation, etransfer his rent on time, remember lots and more or less manage himself. It wasn't until Christmas 2024 that I spent a couple extra overnight days with him that he had incontinence and I realized it was more progressed - but even then, I thought it was a warning sign.

I tried and tried to get him in a home, but he refused. In 2025 he would get lost driving often until December 2025 he drove into a ditch, and license was removed. That really took his progression downhill. Even then he would always remember me, crack jokes, and remember quite a bit. I had home aids going in trying to warm up food, but he refused to eat and would only drink cans of coke. He was always an unclean man so the refusal of showers and personal aid was no different than his baseline.

Then in early June, his friend went to visit and he collapsed at the door and was unconscious for a good 20-30 seconds. Two weeks later, he fell again and a home aid found him on the floor. He went into hospital with dehydration/kidneys not working/high calcium, got pneumonia, and passed away at 77....just three fays after admission. He seemed so young to go, but the doctor looked at his scan and said the dementia was way worse than what he would expect for a man his age. But he hid it well, or at least, hid the severity of it well, and I feel incredibly bad about this.

Guess I am sharing for support and to remind people that dementia can show up differently for people. He never forgot who I was, was still sharp, but nevertheless declined significantly over the course of 6 years.

i've made 2 posts already but i just need to write down what im thinking. My grandpa always had this moustache and a beard, he was bald at the top and had this ring like haircut, he always wore his blue jacket and has the bluest eyes ive ever seen. He doesnt have his beard or moustache anymore, his eyes look hollow and he looks really upset. His voice has changed, he no longer sounds like a grizzly bear type of guy. He can only yell when something is wrong and we need to roll him around in a wheelchair. He can still smile and he smiles if i smile at him. He has no clue who i am but that's okay. He has lost a lot of weight because he refuses to eat a lot of the time, he ate half a piece of cake today and had some soup and apple pie earlier. He's constantly around people and the workers there are very kind and helpful.

I know it's not long anymore before he passes, i visit him every couple of weeks and it's worse everytime. It's hard to go visit but i won't let myself sit at home and then get eaten by the guilt of not seeing him enough. I find myself to be really angry at my other family members because half of them haven't even visited once. I am the youngest out of my entire family and same as them i also have shit to do. But if i have a spare day i choose to visit. I know this is selfish but part of me doesn't wish to see them at the funeral if it comes, because to me it seems like if they don't care enough to see him alive why should they come see him dead. I don't really mean that but part of me feels that way.

I really love my grandpa and it's sad he doesn't know me anymore but i know him and that's all that matters.

todays visit :)

I know this sounds like an awful question. We're caretaking my husband's sister, who has moderate frontotemporal dementia at only 56 years old. Her primary care doctor still wants her to get mammograms, gyno checks, dermatology appointments, etc., and each appointment always leads to more follow up appointments and more things we need to do. I'm wondering if we can be done with these. I realize she could live another 10 years, however at this point we probably wouldn't do chemo or surgery anyway. She has no uncomfortable symptoms of anything besides dementia, and she's with it enough that she could still tell us if she did. I'm tired of doctor's appointments that lead to more and more. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

For backstory: My dad lives about 700 miles away from us, and up until last year was able to mask his dementia symptoms in a way that we didn’t realize how bad he was. Since then we’ve managed him remotely with the help of his neighbor. He’s only 73, and still totally physically healthy but his drs have put him somewhere around level 4-5 so we need to do something. He doesn’t have enough funds to cover 24hr home health care for very long (maybe a year depending on which company) but has too much money to get any assistance from the VA aid&attendance. Thinking of him in a nursing home is awful just based on age and abilities of the other residents in any of the ones around him or us. Considering having him pay to add a room and a bathroom onto our house and moving in there where we can support day to day and then have an aid come in for extra help. Renting out his house would help cover the cost of his care and we would just add his food/transportation costs into our budget and he gets his medical care from the VA. Bad idea? Extra context if it matters is we’re in our mid 30s with 2 teens in a double blended family situation so us moving to him is not an option as I can’t even imagine how to make that work

Hi there, I have long suspected my father is developing dementia. I want to help but also want to do so ethically.

Both he and my mother refuse to talk about anything healthnrelated, they are in their mid to late 60s. He has required a hearing aid for the last four years but in the last two years he refuses to wear them. My parents' relationship has deteriorated somewhat over the last few years so I dont fully trust my mother to be fully aware of these changes.

How would you advise I go about respectfully inquiring about my father's potential condition? What could I ask or say to him to get an idea where he is at, questions, things to watch outt for etc?

I don't want to overstepping but I'm concerned about his health and their ability, or lack thereof, to manage it.

When I put my mom into memory care, it was clear she needed to be there. But here's the thing...a lot of the problems she was having were correctable...and they've been corrected. She's an alcoholic who is no longer drinking. She hadn't taken thyroid medication in years...now she's good. She got thiamine infusions and lots of vitamin D. She was sent to geri psych for her paranoia and agitation, and now she's calm and pretty rational.

I'm actually starting to wonder if I could move her to an assisted living facility. She really just needs help taking her medication, and she needs to be prompted to shower. I don't know if she's even sundowning anymore, or a danger for wandering.

She never went through a full neurological evaluation. She was such a mess that doctors said "dementia". She did have a CT that showed shrunken frontal lobes and some white matter lesions.

But now she's stuck in a lovely (expensive) memory care facility, where she is BY FAR the most conversant person. Her memory is not terrible. She has no one to talk to. She just rereads books in her room. She could live for YEARS, since she probably has mostly alcoholic dementia, which may progress very slowly. My grandmother, who was far more advanced, was in memory care for 10 years before passing away.

Is it a crazy idea to think she might be able to be in assisted living?

Oh, and if you are going to say people with dementia get worse when they are moved -- she does not. She has been in the hospital at least 4 times, the memory wing of skilled nursing, and two different memory care facilities in the last 4 months. And she's getting better, not worse.

In the ER for the second time today and I feel so many things. I feel bad for my dad, I feel bad for me (I’m tired and just want to sleep), I feel bad for feeling the way I do, and I just want to make it to Monday to hopefully start the ball rolling to start my dad on hospice.

How did we end up here? Well last night at 1am the memory care staff found him on the floor in the bathroom and he had a nice gash. It didn’t look deep enough for stitches so I said just clean it. At 8am I got a call that he passed out while sitting down to breakfast and was unconscious for a bit. So 7 hrs in the ER and he was fine minus severe dehydration. Back to memory care we went and within 2 hours he fell again. He said his hip hurt but he seemed ok. They called an hour later and said he yelped so they were calling for an ambulance. Here we are. I’m running on fumes and I don’t know how long more I can go. Days like this I miss my life so much.