Ended an eight month relationship last week, after close to a decade of being single
29M (if it matters)
Last week, I ended this 8-month relationship with a girl I met on Hinge. We lived about 1.5 hours away from each other, but grew really close to one another during that time: I’d go on dates with her best friend, had hour-long conversations with her + her younger siblings, and a lot of close, intimate conversations about my personal life, things I’ve rarely spoken with others about.
Ultimately, I decided this relationship was running its course after several failures to move into this next phase of the relationship. I recently started a second job, she still worked graveyards, and with no sign of us having time to make room for those weekly dates, those other possibilities of moving in together or committing to the next chapter just seemed less possible
So, in spite of us communicating about a serious future together, it felt like our efforts rarely amounted to progress made, or an actual difference in how we felt about where things were headed. The straw that broke the camel’s back was a last-minute cancellation to a week-long stay I planned for us, the day before I left (the reason was work related, so I can’t blame her). Driving back home after the vacation, I just felt I couldn’t keep lighting myself on fire to keep others warm.
Maybe I should’ve given it the summer to make things work, I shouldn’t have been so cold in saying this relationship needs to end (I handled it quite callously). Regardless, i’m the one that made this decision and I can’t go back to rewrite history. It hurts because I still feel strongly about this woman, but I can’t let myself hold onto something I let go.
Anyways, I’m getting back into the dating scene and I’m *dreading* the idea of being back on Hinge, going through all that process to meet someone I like, yada yada. I guess this relationship taught me that it’s ok for things to not work out, and it’s ok to want what’s best for you.