r/HingeStories

Matched with a guy on Hinge a few weeks ago.

28

Good looking.
Corporate job.
Had that “mature but funny” vibe.
Green flags everywhere.

We talked for almost 10 days straight. Late night calls, flirting, sending memes, all that.

Then he suddenly got weirdly unavailable on weekends.

Like:

“Family function.”
“Busy with relatives.”
“At my hometown.”

I ignored it because honestly… men on dating apps are already confusing enough.

Then one evening my best friend posted a family dinner story on Instagram.

I opened it casually.

And almost dropped my phone.

Sitting in the background… smiling… wearing the SAME black shirt from his Hinge pictures was HIM.

Turns out: he was married, got married literally 3 months ago, and somehow was ALSO my best friend’s uncle

I called her immediately and asked:

“Why does your uncle look exactly like my Hinge match?”

She goes:

“WAIT… YOU KNOW RAHUL???”

KNOW HIM???

Girl I almost emotionally invested in this man.

The worst part?

The next morning he texted me:

“You disappeared yesterday. Everything okay? :)”

Sir YOUR WEDDING PHOTOS were okay enough for me.

I accidentally made the mistake of deleting your account and remaking it too soon and I feel like it’s made my account shadow banned.

I was getting likes on my profile and actually getting somewhere with sending messages but now my profile is a ghost town. Bare in mind this time around I’ve actually got better pictures, interesting prompts and I actually sending good thoughtful messages and I’ve sent like 30-40 messages and I’m getting nothing , no response not a match nothing. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m unattractive to these people or just the algorithm isn’t doing anything with me because it’s surprising to me, my first like on hinge on my old account was within 8 hours and on this accounts it’s been 4 days and nothing, no like no match not even a response. Also I tend to avoid any accounts that aren’t active too so it’s not like I’m shooting shots into the void

Anyone else experience this…

I’m white & I’ve had 3 dates set up with black girls on Hinge in the past two weeks, only for them to completely GHOST me the day of the date.

They didn’t even let me know in advance they’re not gonna make it, they just stopped responding to my messages. Making me drive across the city for a meeting that never happens.

I’ve never had this happen with white girls or Asians…😒

I matched with this guy ...we used talk for 3 months ...having a good bond ...we were looking for something casual...had sexting....but we are in a long distance..so we are about to meet for the first time ...and then we would like to have sex....so what's all your opinion having sex in the first date 🙂‍↕️

My girlfriend was calling me at 4:30am in the morning and i was sleeping at that time but somehow when she called me, that call was said to be busy..what might be the reason of my busy line at 4:30am, we both have iPhones, she owns iphone 14 pro max and i have iphone 17 pro (i am a new iPhone user) and at the time when she was calling me, my apple earpods were connected too. I don't have any clue why my call was busy. My phone was on sleep mode also...is it the reason for the busy call? Or anything else?

I downloaded Hinge a year back thinking that it could be fun in general to know people and maybe get my 'The One' But ohh boy was I wrong. Was somewhat forced by friends initially so even I thought I could give it a try. And soon as I downloaded the app boom men started complementing so much. I didn't want to go out on a date coz I was new to it. But then I(20) matched with this man(22). Showed him to my friends they legit screamed that he was handsome.

We started talking quite much for a month but man he wasn't a red flag but a RED BULLET TRAIN! But me being naive thought that this guy was just cracking dark jokes. Then he literally manipulated me to go out on a date with him...quite pleasant date nothing unusual got me flower and stuff. But this man was emphasising soo much on a kiss but I strongly refused and got back home. He then forced me again to meet him on a second date which I again gave in to. Chose public space again went normal. Things were getting quite serious between us. I started liking him and he told me he wanted us to be in a relationship.

Now here on he again forces me to go to his place for the 3rd date. On which I fought with him for days , coz he used to say freaky things like "I want to try bdsm" which would scare me sometimes but then would say that he was joking. And somehow he managed to convince me to go to his place. I went to his place we say at the couch and I was casually showing him pictures of my new place on my phone. I don't know when but he had his arm on my shoulder he shifted that down onto my breast and squeezed it hard that it hurt soooo muchh, he groped my breast sooo forcefully!! I went numb I couldn't do anything. And I just couldn't address what he just did. Then when I was joking( laughing in stressful environment is my coping mechanism) about something I stood up from the couch. This man legit spanked my ass!!!! Man that made me soooo furious I almost slapped him but he diverted the topic and held my wrist. And then we had lunch and when I was about to leave I asked him for a glass of water.

He gave it to me and while I was drinking he pulled my ponytail and said that " see bdsm is fun ". I nearly choked on water.

HE DID THAT ALL INTENTIONALLY!! Fully planned it out!

I was later on in relationship with this man which turned out pathetic and have more red flag stories. (I was naive people)

One of the most pathetic experiences!

The app auto-hid: “consider something casual fun intimate?” for “disrespectful language.”

Meanwhile I’m over here wondering if they can expand the algorithm to flag:

• middle finger pics
• "just ask" bios (and when you do, they respond with why so many questions? what is this an interview?)
• all photos taken at the god damn gym...makes me think he's going to force me to work out too

The app said “this conversation may be unsafe, lewd, immature” and for the first time in modern dating… someone was looking out for me.

Thank you, Hinge!

I went to New York City on a business trip and matched with so many woman. I get the city has density and young people, but every single match was extremely attractive and wanted to chat almost immediately.

I only went on one date, but she was pleasant and friendly.

Anyway I’m confused by this, was this just dumb luck or are woman in big cities just more desperate or wanting a relationship or even a connection?

What am I missing here?

He seemed fine over the app. We met up for coffee and as soon as he sat down he opened with “so I’m a 35 year old virgin and I’ve never had a girlfriend before”. He was instantly in love with and talked about moving me into his house and I had to correct him several times and tell him that I am not moving in with anyone.
I also told him I’m not interested in having children and without even knowing me for 6 hours he offered to get a vasectomy for me. Imagine that? Offering to permanently alter your body for someone you don’t even know? I couldn’t end the date fast enough. He then sent me the following unhinged message:

I know you've got a long drive ahead of you, so please don't feel compelled to pull over and read this...

Whew, I'm glad that you're reading this while in the comfort of your own home (tonight, the next morning, or I guess never if you already blocked me)

First thing's first: I'm glad you liked my shirt. My sister in law said it was way too loud and colorful for a first date. She doesn't understand that I was going for an arcade theme, you know? Neon.(Also the shirt's awesome)

Second, I've never had this much fun on a date. Maybe I just don't connect with most women in that way, but I felt strong jitters after. It was a lot of fun.

If it doesn't work out (or when it doesn't work out) you should know that I felt this was a very positive experience for me, and I hope it was cathartic for you.

I'd love to see you again sometime. I understand your caution. You're a lot of fun, and a delight to talk to.

I also think you're beautiful. Whatever weight you want to be is fine by me. You should be comfortable feeling desired, because I do desire you... Just know I'm VERY attracted to you. I'd love to be destroyed sometime. Annihilate me.

All that being said, I think you're a wonderful and very gifted person. I hope you do well. If you feel you don't want to see me again, I understand.

Just know I'd really like to go out again and hang out. You're very outgoing and fun.

Give it some thought.

If you want to cruelly shut me down, well I know you enjoy doing that, so roast me on the way out. I value your input on my flaws and inadequacies. I'll be taking notes.

If I don't hear back from you before I get to sleep (or don't hear back from you in general) I hope you have a great night.

I deleted hinge after this date.

to me it's now just seeming like a haven for f*t and honestly below mid girls who're cooked and won't get any attention in real life. i Iwk hate the standouts feature be girls my type usually end up there. and then it's really an unsaid promoter for promiscuity and frivolousness, not saying that it's wrong but im kinda bored of this life and i keep going to the app in the pointless hope for finding something real but all i get short shallow dates that get accelerated into bed sessions or ugly girls looking for attention and validation- AND WHY TF ARE THEY SO ENTITLED. yes i'll treat you right but you need to be a little chill and nonchalant about it. and how tf do these girls expect commitment after having one date w me- girl ydk shit about me and you wanna go exclusive? i'd rather take things slow, not accelerate to sex right the minute i meet her, do fun stuff together, have deep conversations, have neither of us lose our individuality and then take things to the next level-how do i change the pattern here?

Why do some guys completely switch after the initial dating stage?

Like if you’re not genuinely interested in building something serious with me, that’s okay. Attraction fades, compatibility issues happen, people change their minds — I can handle honesty.

What I don’t understand is why some people act SO emotionally invested in the beginning, put in effort, attention, consistency, affection etc., and then suddenly pull back and go:

“but we can still keep things casual” or “we can still talk/hook up/be friends with benefits.”

And it’s confusing because the energy in the beginning feels very relationship-oriented, not casual.

At this point I genuinely dread going on dates because I come back home feeling disappointed and emotionally drained every single time. I’ll think maybe this one is different, and then the same pattern repeats.

I’m starting to wonder:

* am I attracting emotionally unavailable people?

* am I ignoring early signs?

* or is modern dating genuinely just like this now?

Would genuinely appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who’ve experienced both sides.

I (F21) hate the dating scene it’s awful and it’s to a point where I’m questioning if I’m the issue??? I deleted the app after meeting up with a man (23) and walking around a park a nice hangout while we stargazed. All of the sudden he just reaches at my chest and squeezes my breasts with both hands and tells me to take of my hoodie. I panicked and laugh it off and tell him like “ nooo it’s cold” and how I don’t like PDA ( I didn’t consent to this) I ended up kinda drawing attention from my chest and I quickly text my friend to call me with an excuse to leave. While we’re talking he mentions how I make him want to be a better person and that he might have to get me pregnant to lock me down. He also brought up his discords and made bad attempts at edgy jokes. I blocked him but god that was awful. He seemed normal in our convos. Does it get better????

In March 2026, I met a guy and since then we’ve been talking. The conversation has been really good, and it’s been 3 months now. We say “I love you,” do video calls, and he basically treats me like his girlfriend. He even claims me as his girlfriend.

I asked him if he wanted something casual, but he said no—he wants a serious relationship. I agreed because I want something serious too. The best part is, he treats me really well and communicates about his future, work, and everything.

However, we still haven’t met yet. I know his work schedule, and he seems busy, but he still manages to go on short trips with his friends to nearby places. But when it comes to meeting me, he hasn’t made it happen.

Now I’m confused. I’m wondering if he just wants me for time pass—like he enjoys talking but doesn’t actually want to meet in real life. He does say he wants to meet and that he’ll plan a date, but for the past 3 months, it’s only been words and no action.

Im 21 & he 29 , Most importantly, I don’t see any other women involved. He stays at home only and sleep all the time thn wake up for his office work and in the evening if he’s free thn only he go out side

Hey,
There’s a girl at my gym I have a huge crush on. I see her regularly, but I don’t even know her name and we've never spoken.
I want to shoot my shot, but I know the gym can be a space where people just want to be left alone. I don’t want to interrupt her workout or make future gym sessions awkward.
How do I break the ice naturally without being creepy?
What are the signs she’s open to talking vs. wanting to be left alone?
Would love advice from anyone who has navigated this, or women who have actually liked being approached at the gym. Thanks!

I’m 27F and I met this guy 27M on Hinge while I was staying in his city. I was instantly drawn to him as he was 100% my type. We’re both in the medical field, he’s down to earth, kind, smart, my type physically, and seemed emotionally mature.

We matched one night and instantly clicked. We ended up chatting until around 3 AM even though we both had to wake up really early the next day. The conversation felt so natural and fun that I honestly thought he was a catfish (he wasn’t).He was very vocal about what his intentions were, he wasn’t into casual dating and so was I. After 2 days of talking, we decided to meet up. I was EXTREMELY nervous (this was my first date with someone I had actually never met before). I was legitimately thinking about bailing when I saw him arrive holding a bouquet of roses. So yeah, our first date went really really well, and I think we both knew it. He told me it was the best first date he’d ever been on. We went on a second date the day after. He was a complete gentleman: gave me flowers on both dates, opened my doors, paid for everything, and even bought food for my friends back in our apartment just because. He genuinely wanted to spoil me which I wasn’t used to. We also had a lot in common personality-wise and in terms of personal values. He was pretty forward with his intentions. He said he wanted to meet my friends, and even my mom.. I was sort of taken aback, like was this a red or green flag?! He offered to visit me back home to meet my entire family. He asked me about long distance, if I was willing to do it. He also made a lot of future plans: he invited me to watch him play basketball later that month, invited me and my friends to a food festival, etc. A lot of these types of conversations were initiated by him, not me, because I was trying not to come on too strong. I let him take the lead, I was very happy. Mind you, we never even kissed. At most, we just cuddled in the movie theater on our second date. You know how when you actually really like someone, you just kinda wanna keep it wholesome? That’s what I felt and I could tell he was the same. He was a complete and utter gentleman. After our second date, he dropped me home and his last text to me was that he’d gotten home. After that, radio silence. I was SO confused. I kept racking my brain as to what I did or said wrong, there wasn’t really anything.. All I can think of was when I asked him about instagram (he’s not on ANY social media at all, lowkey a red flag to me), I asked him if maybe he could make one so I could send him reels lol. That’s it… he just seemed like he really wanted to make a real effort with me. He even offered to write me a recommendation letter for residency (he was ahead of me).

So about a week of silence, I was still in his city and my friends encouraged me to just message him one last time because I literally had nothing to lose LOL. So I sent something like, “Hey, I didn’t think you were the kind of guy to ghost. Is everything okay?” He replied within 10 minutes and said he was sorry, but he had to go back to his hometown because his mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer…

Honestly, I have no way of knowing if that was bullshit and this entire time he’d just been telling me what I wanted to hear or he’s genuinely going through something. I literally can’t know for sure because I didn’t know him enough 😭. But he really could have just said something, anything to let me know he wasn’t available anymore. This entire experience just really messed with me on a deeper level than my ex of 3 years did which is insane and impressive. I feel like I’m going into psychosis. Help

TLDR: I 27F met this guy 27M on hinge, we hit it off and he was definitely my type. After 2 great dates, he ghosted me. His excuse was his mom was diagnosed with cancer. I can’t tell if I was just being lovebombed or he’s genuinely going through something

I’m 28F and matched with a guy (28M). We talked on Hinge for around a day and a half and then exchanged numbers. We talked over texts and calls for a few days, and within a week of matching, he asked if he could take me out for a date. The conversations through the week were an absolute pleasure. He was kind, sweet, respectful, funny, and honestly checked all the boxes. In addition to that, we were both at similar places in terms of what we were looking for from this.

We probably spoke about everything that should have been discussed pre-date. Safe to say, we enjoyed each other’s company — virtually, at least.

I’d also mentioned to him that I’m usually very awkward when I meet someone for the first time in person, which is usually very contrasting to my virtual personality. He handled it pretty well.

The first date (Friday) lasted around 7 hours — needless to say, the awkwardness decided to take a day off. Safe to say the date went pretty well, considering we spent that many hours together, and the same was communicated to me more than a few times. We got on a call as soon as we sat in our cars and continued talking for another 2-ish hours.

We spoke constantly the next day too, but within limits, considering we’re both working adults. He asked if I was available for dinner on Sunday. I had plans with family so I couldn’t say yes, but I think he got the idea that 2 dates in the span of 3 days could be a little too much — so he revoked the offer, lol.

We decided to meet for dinner during the week, but this time we’d completely skip drinks. We communicated really well throughout the week — midday calls, texts, yada yada. But the dinner didn’t happen because both of our work schedules were pretty packed, and that was communicated from both ends.

We ended up meeting on Friday (the second date), and this time we spent around 4–5 hours together — dinner and a few drinks. I don’t think either of us wanted the date to end, but we had to wrap it up. We continued on a call as soon as we sat in our cars, and once we reached our respective destinations, we switched to video calls. We easily spoke for over 3 hours, until I fell asleep talking to him.

Both dates went pretty well, and I think we were on the same page about that. We spoke about pretty much everything — work, family, friends, life, the future, expectations, and more.

The momentum over the weekend slowed down a little — I was busy with plans with friends, and him with work. I think he also needed a little time to himself. The momentum continued to be low for the next couple of days, until he said he wouldn’t be able to continue whatever this was, because his work was currently very demanding of his time, and he had things going on on the family front — the typical handbook response, I guess.

What left me confused was: how can a guy go from 100 to zero in 3 days? Is this a textbook example of love bombing? I have my doubts, because he did seem very interested and involved throughout — he looked genuine and wasn’t just fooling around. I also know his work had been taxing, because he mentioned it in passing a couple of times. At the same time, when work gets overwhelming, you ask for a slowdown — you don’t opt out entirely. Or do you?