Starting again
I’ve struggled with severe health anxiety for a while now, and just when I thought I was finally starting to get better, it all came back full force after I saw another ALS story on TikTok. Now I’m spiraling again and freaking myself out.
For the past 4 months, I’ve felt like my right arm and hand are weaker. I’m left-handed, but when I type with my right hand, I feel like I can’t keep up as well. Last week while making cupcakes, the KitchenAid mixing bowl felt really heavy, and when I was trying to zip up a kid’s sweater, gripping it felt more difficult than usual. I was still able to do everything, but it just felt harder.
I went to the doctor recently and told her all my concerns. She tested the strength in my fingers and hands by trying to pull my fingers apart while I resisted, and she said my strength was completely normal and actually very strong. She also checked my feet and toes and said there was nothing concerning. Even with that reassurance, I still feel scared something is wrong.
What makes it worse is seeing stories from people saying their symptoms started with pain or that they were told it was anxiety at first, and that terrifies me. I also get muscle twitches every single day, mostly in my legs but sometimes in my arms too, which just keeps feeding the fear.
My leg pain got a bit better after wearing shoes to work instead of crocs for a few days and now it back again full swing so..went away for a day or two