Help me end it please
I am so desperate I don’t know what to do.
It has been going on for over a year and a half. I am married and he is recently divorced.
He told me I was the only one he was sleeping with, but I went on his phone and saw a video of a girl giving him head a few days ago. I asked him multiple times if he was anyone else, I don’t care that much but I don’t want him to lie to me. I want full transparency, just like I am being transparent. Now I found out the lie. I still feel like I cannot live without him. I was angry for a day and then started talking to him like nothing happened… what is wrong with me?? He’s NOT my boyfriend.
The worst part is that I’m actually happy with my marriage. I made it clear that I would not leave my husband. I don’t even know what I’m doing here or how I got here. I just know I have a very special connection with him and it’s gonna be extremely difficult to replace.
The last year and a half we have tried to break it off three times but we have always come back to each other after less than two weeks. At this point, I think it’s emotional dependency.
Please give me advice on how to end it and focus on my life and my marriage. Please do not judge me, you don’t know the whole story.