Should I give up and just not go to college?
Not trying to give all information of my life. But to sum it up as a simple and straightforward explanation of my current situation: I’ve been raised my whole life by my grandparents alongside my uncle there for supporting our household, due to my parents dipping from my life completely which resulted in various problems and relationships issues between us - me and my “parents”, despite the fact they’ve separated for personal reasons yet somehow failed to be responsible parents and even the bare minimum. Only caring more about their romantic/sexual relationships in their lives, handling their addictions, etc. With neither stepping up in order to raise me during my childhood.
I’ve been homeschooled since I was five years old, all the way up until I turned 10 or 11 when I became officially unschooled throughout COVID. My grandparents were never able to get me back into homeschool, which I often wonder but unfortunately will never have the answer to. However — I’ve always had deep passion and love for wildlife biology, conservation, ecology, herbal medicine, astronomy, astrology, art, psychology, geology, so so much more than I could express through words.
I really want to go to college for them, to achieve my dreams and goals as someone whose lost so much throughout my life. It doesn’t help that I’m undiagnosed autistic aswell, only further adding to my feelings of insecurities with indifferences and being alienated. I feel like a loser, nothing to show for, nothing to achieve, nothing to look forward to in life as an individual. I’m 17, as days then weeks turn into months - I’m watching the world move on, meanwhile I’m still stuck in the same place fighting the same struggles.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever become someone, as much as I don’t want others to sugarcoat anything. I still want hope, to at least achieve these goals of my passions and dreams like everyone else. I want a future.