r/unschool

Not trying to give all information of my life. But to sum it up as a simple and straightforward explanation of my current situation: I’ve been raised my whole life by my grandparents alongside my uncle there for supporting our household, due to my parents dipping from my life completely which resulted in various problems and relationships issues between us - me and my “parents”, despite the fact they’ve separated for personal reasons yet somehow failed to be responsible parents and even the bare minimum. Only caring more about their romantic/sexual relationships in their lives, handling their addictions, etc. With neither stepping up in order to raise me during my childhood.

I’ve been homeschooled since I was five years old, all the way up until I turned 10 or 11 when I became officially unschooled throughout COVID. My grandparents were never able to get me back into homeschool, which I often wonder but unfortunately will never have the answer to. However — I’ve always had deep passion and love for wildlife biology, conservation, ecology, herbal medicine, astronomy, astrology, art, psychology, geology, so so much more than I could express through words.

I really want to go to college for them, to achieve my dreams and goals as someone whose lost so much throughout my life. It doesn’t help that I’m undiagnosed autistic aswell, only further adding to my feelings of insecurities with indifferences and being alienated. I feel like a loser, nothing to show for, nothing to achieve, nothing to look forward to in life as an individual. I’m 17, as days then weeks turn into months - I’m watching the world move on, meanwhile I’m still stuck in the same place fighting the same struggles.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever become someone, as much as I don’t want others to sugarcoat anything. I still want hope, to at least achieve these goals of my passions and dreams like everyone else. I want a future.

Been unschooling since the beginning and my daughter just turned 5. About two months ago she started asking, repeatedly, for "reading lessons." Specifically the structured kind. She knows other kids in her co-op who do "lessons" with their parents and now she wants that too.

This is not me imposing structure. She is asking for it almost everyday and some days multiple times.

The unschool community around us is weird about this. A few friends have made comments about how I'm "abandoning the philosophy" or how she "doesn't know what she's asking for" or how she'll learn naturally if I just keep trusting the process. One mom literally said her kid just learned to read at 8 from "being around books" and that's how it's supposed to work. My kid is 5 though and is asking for structure.

Following her lead is the whole point of unschooling. If she wants structured reading work am I betraying the philosophy by giving her what she's asking for, or am I doing exactly what unschooling actually says to do which is respond to the kid in front of me?

Let me rephrase that. Questions-every parents must ask. Not money. Not cost. Not books. Just mental models, I'm asking y'all. Wanna get the answers, comprehensive please, if possible.

What is an ideal education system?

What are the constraints of an ideal learner?

Schools are one of these shit, I get it. What are others? Let me add an extra word in there for further discussion. "Universal constraints".

What are the "Universal" constraints of an ideal learner?

I ma enjoy this show. None of you parents nor kids can answer this shit. The reason why you all got so deep into this unschool stuff is ALL BECAUSE you don't know how to succeed inside the system while being free outside the school at the same time, let me bring attention this fact to u guys again. You don't know what's ideal. Not best not shit. "Ideal"

This long rant comes from seeing and hearing main character story line of how 2 different unschoolers lifes goes. One regrets immensely, the other grateful for eternity and Beyond! It's idiotic. Its insanely idiotic once you think about it. Let me repeat. Its idiotic because in those who succeeds, they got variables already taken care of compared to "homeschooling failure". Now answer the damn questions, folks.

I know the typical outings like going to the library and the zoo, museums. Those things are great for my youngest who enjoys learning in general. However my oldest hates when he feels he is being led to learn something. So it’s very hard to sneak in those little learning opportunities in daily life outings or field trips.
How do YOU encourage your resistant kids to learn and take things in without seeming like you are actively pushing them in the direction?

This has been on my mind lately, When kids are learning on their own, it’s interesting to watch how far curiosity alone can take them. Sometimes they go deep into a topic without any structure and seem to really enjoy figuring things out themselves. But I also notice moments where they seem confident about something, even when their understanding might be off. That makes me wonder where the balance is.

Do you step in and correct things when you notice misunderstandings, or do you let it play out and trust they’ll adjust through experience? I’m curious how others here handle that tension in practice.