I need help
Hi. I dont know what I should do.
I don't even know how to explain it but bassically i have no friends, i have no job, i have an abusive family who pays for me and an abusive boyfriend who I live with.
I have no hope. I wanna find a job and be allowed to be alone
I dont wanna face or be with people anymore
I've cried so much recently. Everyone just walks all over me. And expect me to be okay with that
I honestly just wanna die. I cannot see the bright side, i cannot see it getting better
I have had 3 psychotic episodes but I live with psychosis constantly, 4 times in hospitals, therapy sessions. They didnt take away my will to die. I take pis now and see a psychiatrist
The last time i was alone I nearly died. I had many states when i felt paralised, i couldnt move. I couldnt eat, get out of bed, i lost track of time.
I dont know what to do. I know its just the depression and in fact, i wanna live but i cannot get there alone and i cant accept people near me anymore. I just want peace