u/Examelated

The story followed Nina , who is a university student who participated in a forbidden ritual known as the "Wish Hunt," successfully bound herself to, and gained supernatural powers from a vengeful spirit named Gehenna. According to a notorious urban legend, Gehenna was a woman brutally murdered by her husband after she tragically lost their young daughter.

However, the ritual demanded a horrific price. Everyone who partook in it alongside Nina either met a gruesome demise or fell into a permanent, deep coma. As for Nina, she emerged as the sole survivor but was left with total amnesia regarding the horrors of that fateful night.

Now, word has leaked. Infamous assassin syndicates operating in the city’s criminal underworld have caught wind that Nina successfully channeled Gehenna's power. Because the souls of those bound to Gehenna are inexplicably drawn to the spirit, the syndicates intend to hunt Nina down and use her as a living radar to track Gehenna and seize the spirit's god-like power for themselves. This relentless pursuit culminated in a brazen, public assassination attempt on a city bus, dragging Nina into a bloody game of survival.

The chapter i send is the first draft of the story so there's still many flaws and things i want to improve so be extremely honest when giving me feedback so i can improve my story.
I would like to get feedback about about the story and plot , hook , pacing , visual and the cliffhanger at the end
(Note: i used chatbot to translate the whole chapter into english because i originally wrote this chapter in Vietnamese)