Help/opinions wanted with my breastfeeding and pumping journey.
Hi! I am a FTM and my baby is turning 6 weeks tomorrow. For backstory, I had a breast reduction 10 years ago, and thought I was mentally prepared for the idea that I might not be able to breastfeed at all since I knew that it could be a possibility. Before giving birth I did notice some colostrum drops, but was not able to successfully extract any of it.
After giving birth, I was breastfeeding every 2-3 hours as directed, and was assisted with latching by the hospital lactation consultants. By the time we got to the 2 day pediatrician appointment, she had lost more than the recommended amount of weight, and the pediatrician instructed the following: breastfeed each side for 10-15 mins and then give a supplement of formula of 0.5-1 oz every 2-3 hours. He also instructed me to pump a couple of times a day to see how much I was producing (it was not very much). The following week, she was regaining weight but had not made it to birth weight just yet so we continued with the instruction, however he allowed us to up to formula supplement to 1.5 oz since baby was showing hunger signs still after the 0.5-1 oz.
I made an appointment with a lactation consultant, we did a weighted feed where she ate about 1.3 oz, and was put on a plan of triple feeding (breastfeeding for a max of 40 mins, then pumping for 20 minutes while baby takes a bottle of formula or my expressed breast milk). My milk production from pumping has increased a bit with this plan. At a follow up, she transferred 4 oz during a weighted feed, but this seems off to me since afterwards at the appointment baby was hungry enough to eat 2 more oz. Since then, I have bought a scale and have been doing weighted feeds, most of which show transfers of 1-1.5 oz. The lactation consultant then put me on a different plan where I breastfeed each side for a max of 2 times, and if she still shows hunger cues then I give a bottle and pump, but if no hunger cues then it is just a feeding. I have only been able to do this once or twice, as she is always still hungry after breastfeeding. Baby consistently falls asleep at the breast and when I think she is satisfied and am burping her, shows hunger cues like crazy and won’t settle.
So basically I have been triple feeding for a month, I am exhausted, and don’t see an end in sight. I considered exclusively pumping and feeding bottles but I don’t produce enough milk. I am pumping every 3 hours, with massages and compressions, I use the blue spectra machine and am using the right flange size according to the lactation consultant. In a 24 hour cycle I produce about 8-9 oz on average, from approx 0.5-1.5 oz after a feeding and 1.5-2.5 oz if I am replacing a feed and pumping while she gets a bottle of breastmilk. She drinks approx 1.5-2 oz of formula after breastfeeding and at night when she receives a bottle while I pump (no breastfeeding) she drinks almost 4 oz. Baby has a great amount of wet and dry diapers and has since surpassed birth weight and is gaining consistently in her curve.
I know the benefits of breast milk are vast and want to give my baby the best nutrition I can, but I am extremely tired of this process where feeding seems like a never ending cycle. There’s many times where no one can give her the bottle while I pump so the whole feeding ends up taking almost 2 hours including burping.. at night she is stretching to almost 4 hours which is nice but I am still so sleep deprived and feel disappointed by the fact that I am not producing enough to just feed her breastmilk whether that be exclusively breastfed, pumping, or a combination of both.
Hoping someone here can give me some insight and opinions or maybe someone went through something similar. I just feel very frustrated with this feeding process and it’s all consuming nature, and feeling like I am not doing enough for my child… i know that fed is best and if I need to one day just transition to formula she would be fine as well, but part of me wants to make sure I tried everything I could RE: breastmilk, and also it’s really important to my husband as well…