r/breastfeeding

Third time mom, every time it’s taken a few days for my milk to come in. Every time my baby has lost around 11-12% of their birth weight, and every time the hospital has pushed me to supplement within the first two days - setting up weeks of triple feeding.

I consistently read that it’s normal for milk to take days to come in and the weight loss is normal. I know 10% is the threshold, but I don’t understand why when milk isn’t even in yet? How can both of those things be true?

I’m resentful that this has led to weeks of triple feeding for every one of my kids, which is a really hard cycle to break. I spend months trying to get back to EBF and often wonder if I should’ve denied supplementing in the beginning.

My baby is 5m and everyone is waiting for me to stop. I’ve been ebf since he was born. I already had to start bottles because we had to send him to daycare. My mom and boyfriend are the ones ESPECIALLY waiting for me to stop. My mom wants him to spend the night and I said I’ll send her frozen packs. My boyfriend keeps saying “he’s almost 6m so you can stop”… I wanna at LEAST do 10m-1y but I feel so pressured to stop. I just need some type of way to tell them I don’t want to stop.

Edit: Ebf has gone great for me since the beginning. I haven’t had any struggles mentally or physically as well. I pump good at work too.

Exactly what the title says...

My baby is 4 months old and we co sleep. This was simply becsuse she wakes every 2 hours in the night for a feed. I know breastmilk digests quickly so I was wondering when she starts solids, in theory she will be fuller for longer so will go longer stretches, right?

HARSH, RAW , DIRECT OPINIONS/SUPPORT I need to hear it upfront !

I’m ashamed to come on this sub and admit this but I have searched this topic in this sub and all advice/comments seem to be controversial.

Context:
FTM, with a 7 week old colic baby.

The first 7 weeks doing this solo I’ve struggled immensely.
Recently my baby has been having severe episodes for HOURS on end.
Without dragging this out, after those episodes and constant battles of getting him to settle, I wind down with a 4 pack or bottle of wine whilst he’s sleeping.

He rarely wakes up often to feed, is nearly 6kg, and never had any medical issues.

I don’t do this often but I find myself doing it more frequently 2-3 times a week.

I’ve breast fed when he wakes up and he doesn’t seem to show any signs of change in behaviour

His father left us during my pregnancy and wants nothing to do with being apart of our lives.

I feel like a failure and so selfish but I also don’t know how to cope some days when it is all so consuming.

Am I being selfish and should I seek professional help ?
is this even allowed while breastfeeding ?
Am I seriously that incapable of just trying to wind down myself when he sleeps without alcohol ? I feel like such a terrible mum and there’s no way I want to share this with his paediatrician second-guessing everything

I just need to rant quickly here.

From the get go everyone told me just to formula feed her or bottle feed her. Why would I when I breast fed my first? I know I can do it and that’s what I did. I ignored them all up to today and now I’m just raging.

So today I ended up in the ER because of mastitis (not my first rodeo with it) I had tried the cold/hot compress, the dangle method, the manual and auto pumping, the lactation massager, and the sunflower Lecithin. Finally it got bad enough that I told my husband to drop me off at the ER so I could get antibiotics. (No urgent cares near us and telehealth dr told me to go in). So that’s what I did. Sure enough it’s a nasty case of mastitis. Got the prescription and got told to keep doing everything.

Well we got home and got bombarded with messages that I need to just dry my milk up and give her real food and milk. SHES 10 MONTHS! She also CANT have dairy!! (She has a lot of allergies and medical issues) She does eat table foods she eats A LOT! But she loves her yiddies and I love that I’m able to provide for her. Finally after my 8th message from family I just lost my crap. I started crying and asking my husband if I need to just stop. Thankfully he was being supportive and told me to keep doing whatever made me feel comfortable. My grandmother also came over with purple cabbage to help dry my milk up. -_-

And the thing that is the worse they aren’t telling me to do it for my health. They are telling me to do it so they can take baby places without her having to be attached to me. (She throws fits if I’m not there or in eye sight) she’s definitely a mommies girl. But they get so annoyed because baby is constantly with me and they can’t hold her because she will start crying.

Her pediatrician and GI doctor even said that it’s better for her to be on breastmilk because it has more nutrition and antibodies for her. Heck even my oldest still drinks breast milk here and there especially when she’s sick and it helps soooo much! Why would I want to stop that??

So PLEASE stop telling me to wean my baby when I don’t want to!!

This might be tmi but I recently miscarried and oddly enough with my milk still coming in it makes me realized how much I missed pumping/nursing. I only made it 3 months with my last but now I’m more motivated than ever to make my breastfeeding journey work whenever I have another baby again.

This can be things you NEED or just helpful things.

I already have manual pedela pump, spectra 1 &2, extra parts and flange sizing kit. I have a couple nursing bras as well.

i’m tired. i’m tired of his family telling me i can’t breastfeed in private because i accidentally left a tissue in the bedroom once. my in-laws said better not to feed baby than feed her in a room if i am not comfortable feeding on the couch (baby will rip off nursing over and refuse to eat because of my strong let down, it just doesn’t work, i’ve tried). my husband said their attitude is unacceptable and so it escalated into a huge fight.

now it turned out that my husband’s sister was also pissed because i spent 30-45 minutes nursing in her room so she asked chatgpt if that’s normal. and it supposedly said no. fyi i never said she can’t come in and i have nursed with his other sister in the room before too. i just need a bed so i can do side lying and no men to accidentally flash.

we traveled three hours to get to them. my baby was exhausted. and teething. she likes to power nap for 5/10 minutes half way through a feed, if she is detached from my breast she will begin to scream her head off and only calm if i latch her again. she does not take a pacifier or a bottle. so if baby eats for 10, sleeps for 10, eats for another 10, then i fix my hair covering (in my religion we cover our hair), yeah that’s a bit over half an hour.

my in-laws get pissed if they can’t hold her. i don’t let people hold her if she cries. so i figure better a quick nap than a cranky baby who i will anyway have to feed again because she is not full until i have a second letdown.

so when i heard from my husband that’s what she told him on the phone i was appalled at the audacity of this lady. and like we are the same age she’s not a teenager. yes my husband is the first married sibling with kids and the rest have never even had a boyfriend/girlfriend. but if she thinks chat has all the parenting answers then she will be in for a rude awakening.

this ended in a huge fight with my husbands family spewing every grievance they’ve had with me for the last two years of our marriage so we are low/no contact for now and we’ve told them if i cant feed my baby in comfort we aren’t coming over i til they either have space for me to feed or baby is no longer breastfeeding so … 2 years old give or take. but i just keep learning more and more ridiculous things that they told my husband about me and im just so done.

When I had my baby I thought breastfeeding was just putting them to breast and letting it happen. I thought if they suck- milk comes out. I knew nothing about letdowns. I’m 8 weeks pp, my period came back due to birth control and i have nearly lost my supply. I am now overthinking EVERYTHING.

1. Is it normal to only have one letdown per nursing session? My baby triggers a letdown at the beginning very quickly. I can hear him swallow and tell he’s getting milk for a minute or so and then it just seems like sporadic sucking and breaks with not much if any swallowing. I’ll switch him to the other side but i’ve never had 2 letdowns.

2. This question ties in with the first question. When I pump my letdowns seem to be about an ounce on each side. If i pump for upwards of 30 minutes I can get another letdown but it’s typically less. Is my baby really only getting an ounce per side?

3. Did anyone else get their period back and notice a dip in supply during period? (I typically exclusively breastfeed, but pump on occasion and get around 3oz. I have been pumping extra and doing everything i can and am getting maybe an ounce combined.)

I’m feeling really discouraged. He’s a pretty fussy baby so this whole time I’m wondering if he’s been underfed. His weight gain is totally normal and he has the correct amount of diapers. But i’m stuck on the fact that i’m “supposed” to have multiple letdowns. I feel like i’m failing at feeding my baby.

Hello, I've been exclusively breastfeeding my 5 and a half month old. He is feeding every 2 hours ideally, up to 3 hours depending on circumstances. After 3 hours he's pissy and starts crying, but even at the 3 hour mark he's already starting to get vocal.

He has had some ups and downs with weight. When he initially lost weight at around 3 months, the nurses told us to feed every 2 hours to ensure that my supply comes back up if it was a supply issue (at this point he was feeding every 3-4 hours). He seemed to be back on track.

At his 5 month appointment, 4 weeks after the last weigh-in, he'd gained only 250gr. This was concerning to me, the doctor was surprised that I still feed every 2-3 hours. She thought that he's snacking and not getting enough of the fatty milk and therefore not gaining weight. Advised that we feed every 3-4 hours, more like 4 hours. I tried this, but he just gets too hungry by the time it's 3 hours later, I don't want to starve my baby. So we're back to every 2-3 hours.

The only examples that I have from family fall into this every 4 hours by now. I'm just curious if the more frequent feeds are still normal at this age and if there are other mums out there that do the same?

Thank you!

Hi moms!
My baby is 2 months old, and I’m combination feeding (breastfeeding and formula). I used my Medela Pump in Style Pro for the first time this morning and got 90 mL! I usually never get more than 50 mL in total, so I was really happy!
The only thing is that I have to hold the pump with my hands the whole time, which can be annoying, especially when my baby is awake and needs me.
I’m thinking about buying a pumping bra to make hands-free pumping easier, but I’m wondering if it’s worth the money. Does it hold the flanges securely in place, or is it not as effective as holding them with your hands?
I originally wanted to get wearable, hands-free pumps, but they’re over my budget right now.
For those of you who use a pumping bra:
Which brand do you recommend?
Does it hold the pump securely and make pumping easier?
Have you noticed any difference in the amount of milk you express?
Is it worth buying, or should I save my money?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and recommendations! Thank you! ❤️

4 wks post partum. Babe gets 2-3 bottles of breast milk a day and I pump around the same time to replace those feeds. When can I stop doing this?

My baby is 6 months and recently when I feed her she’s just going back and forth between breasts. Like she’ll suck on one side for 2 seconds then goes to the other side repeatedly.

My son just turned 13 months and we are weaning and hoping to be done by 14 months. We are down to 3 feeds a day (morning wake up, nap, bedtime) and I think I’m having a hormonal crash or something. I’ve had the lowest lows this last week. From crying and so much sadness to intense anger. At one point I screamed into my pillow. I don’t think I’ve ever done that? My son head butted me in bed at like 2am and I woke my husband by yelling at him to take the baby. I texted my husband this last week saying that I feel like I am failing everyone and feel like a bad mom because I got frustrated with my son. My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest when I think about normal, every day things - cleaning, grocery shopping, going to work. I even took a pregnancy test because this is soooo unlike me. Then it hit me today that maybe it’s the hormones from weaning. Idk what to do. We have tricare so it takes forever to get an appointment with my PCM but I guess I should try to be seen. Is this normal or common at all?

This is my first post so please be kind. I currently have a 9 month old who is EBF and refuses to take a bottle. We have tried everything and had some brief success before he changed his mind. He doesn't sleep through the night, sometimes waking only once or twice and other nights 4+ times. I also have a 3yo who EBF (who did at least take a bottle), but that is to say I am pretty much not leaving the house anytime after 8pm.

I am totally fine with this and know it's just a phase, the problem is my friends (and sometimes husband) who continue to invite me to concerts that start at 9pm or say I need to rip off the bandaid and my baby will be forced to take a bottle. I know that he wouldn't starve, and I don't stress much during the day knowing he can fill up some on whatever food he decides to eat, and might get a little milk from a sippy cup. However, night time is different and I know I will stress more that he is up and inconsolable (which I also don't want to ask my 70yo mom to have to endure).

Am I being crazy? I feel like people just don't get it.

Would love to hear your experiences of breastfeeding while taking antidepressants, especially whether it impacted milk supply in any way.

Long story short, I’m having a lot of anxiety about my milk supply and my baby’s weight that I think is verging into pathological territory. I have a history of mental health difficulties so it’s not totally surprising … I was doing quite well until recently, when we found out she’s fallen onto the 9th centile curve and the GP I saw that day implied I should switch to from combo to purely formula feeding at our eight week appointment. I was always hoping to wean off formula supplements but now feel that I can’t, and it’s set off a whole spiral of anxiety and depression that hasn’t let up at 11 weeks.

I really didn’t want to take medication out of concern that it might impact my baby while breastfeeding but I’m so tired of feeling awful. I’m tired of snapping at my husband when he’s trying to help. I just want to enjoy my baby and surely breastfeeding her on antidepressants is still better than not breastfeeding her at all, right?

I don’t know. I’m not sold. I’m still worried about long term negative effects on her, and I dont know if I’ll take them if there’s a risk of my supply dropping since I’m already so worried about that. Might be counter productive.

I’m about to start taking Sertraline/Zoloft. I’m nervous about taking it at night and being even more tired than I already am to get up and help my baby through the night. What was your experience?

How did it work for you if you took it in the morning?

I know it’s different for everyone, I’d just like to know what might happen🫠

Sincerely, a ftm, 4.5 months pp

FTM to a 8 week old, currently exclusively breastfeeding and I have no idea when my LO is actually hungry or just fussy. Anytime she cries I just whip out the boob and she’ll take it. I don’t think she’s ever declined it. Sometimes she’ll spit up a lot (which I believe is because she over ate) but most of the time her spit ups are normal. I also don’t really know how many oz she eats, sometimes she’ll feed on both boobs for 20 min, other times she’ll only eat one boob for like 10 minutes and then sleep. Just curious thanks!

My son is 8 weeks old. I only nursed my first son for a few days and gave up because i was unaware how hard it actually was to nurse a baby. When i got pregnant with my second, I did alot more research to feel prepared and we’re going 8 weeks strong. Here’s the issue.. I can almost never get my baby to sleep without nursing & even then, it’s quite the fight and often ends in tears from me because it takes 2 hours to get him asleep. Once he’s asleep if his face isn’t touching my nipple he wakes up. Night time sleep is also rough. He will sleep in the bassinet for about 30 minutes (after fighting him for an hour or more) and then i have to nurse him and rock him for an hour. He will then typically sleep for 2 hours. After that, he’s awake every hour or less. My husband can almost never get him asleep because he doesn’t have magic boobs. I go back to work in 3 weeks and I’m starting to get worried about how the sitter will get him asleep as she has other kids as well. He will not nap independently at all and i’m struggling. I know some of it is his age and i’m not expecting a miracle, but i’m wondering if breastfeeding is causing this much of an issue for me. I genuinely feel like my whole day is just fighting him to take a nap. He is not the type of baby that will “fall asleep if he’s tired enough”. My other issue: if he’s awake he’s mad unless he’s on the boob and even then that doesn’t always work. I’m not kidding when i say there has been maybe a handful of times where he’s has been content enough for me to set him on his playmat or in his bouncer. He’s typically screaming to be held and again, seven if i pick him up he isn’t always happy. I’m feeling really defeated. He has laryngomalacia and struggles more on bottles so we’re typically are always directly breastfeeding. We have introduced a bottle a day and plan to increase that so he is ready for the sitter. I don’t know what i’m doing wrong, but no matter what i do i have an angry baby.

Hi, I have a 21 month old toddler and am a little less than 7 weeks pregnant. My goal is to have my toddler weaned by her 2nd birthday so I have been slowly shortening her nursing sessions. I only have her nurse when she is tired or sad from falling down (comfort nursing upon her request). We have shortened our nursing sessions from 30min+ to about 10min total. I got the okay from my doctor that this nursing schedule should be good for us and that she will be weaned in a time manner good for my pregnancy.

My main issue is when I unlatch her, she sobs so much and says things like, "boobeh, nice, nice, gentle, please". I used to tell her nice/ gentle when she would bite me in the past. Now, I have been telling her, "You are being nice, but boobeh is all done. There's no more milk."

This just breaks my heart and makes we want to cry hearing her say those things while crying. My boobs are definitely more tender now so longer nursing sessions just hurt too much. I've always loved our bonding nursing sessions so it feels heartbreaking to see it ending soon. She is definitely super attached too and seeks a lot of comfort in it.

How do you guys cope with this? I understand I'll have this opportunity with my next baby, but I love the experience with THIS baby and I will never get these moments back with her.

Honestly, idk if this is the pregnancy hormones getting me so emotional over this transition.

I work at a WOMENS HEALTH CLINIC. I had the same lactation accommodation for 5-6 months without issue. Now all of a sudden-

- Management stated that if I need more than 2 15-minute pump breaks, I would need to clock out and then add time to the end of my workday to make that time up. This is despite the fact that I had requested to continue working while pumping as to not get behind. I had been working during pump times since I returned to work in March. 

-They stated that I need to add additional patients to my daily schedule due to the decreased productivity of my pumping times

-The options given were that I either add a patient to extend my workday, double book my patient slots, or decrease my FTE

-A 3:00 PM patient has already been added without my acceptance. The exams run for 40 minutes (not including documentation and cleaning) and I leave at 3:30. Subsequently, I have already been forced to stay well past my scheduled end time for the last several days. Management was already aware that I have fixed childcare pickup directly after my shift and cannot stay late before they implemented this. 

-Management is now proposing to fill previously protected/predictable pumping windows with other patient appointments 

-Management is now prohibiting me from pumping in my ultrasound room since it is a “patient clinical area” while directing me to use another patient clinical room that I had already complained to HR about in March because of its lack of availability and being repeatedly locked out of the room. My HR complaint was closed out with no response regarding that issue.

it’s so insanely sad to me that mothers are being treated like this FOR FEEDING THEIR BABY. and the fact that this is coming from a practice whose entire purpose is to support women, mothers, etc. America needs to get it together .