My 4m old will unlatch to smile up at me and it's adorable but I find myself saying
"You can't smile and eat at the same time sir"
It's heartwarming and also feeds take like 30 minutes now 😅 I'm glad my kiddo loves me
1.When your kid is sick and you take them into the pediatric er they have magic doors that make your kid suddenly look like they haven't felt sick ever in their lives! But this trick only works if you commit to the actual visit you can't just go in and sit in the waiting room
Your kids will be perfectly quiet, playing or otherwise distracted and you think "now is a great time to make a phone call!" Your child will wait until the second the person on the other line answers to start maniacally laughing or bursting into sudden tears for no reason.
If your young child is constipated put them in your favorite outfit that you are so excited for them to wear (it's gotta be mostly white too) and your child will poop! And it will be a blowout!
Your child will love bananas. Devour 4 a day for like 3 days straight. So you think "I need to buy bulk bananas" so you buy bananas in bulk.
Then your child will refuse to eat said bananas. Apply this to any food or drink.
Anything I'm missing?
Listen, I'm poor and wool is itchy. Acrylic yarn is affordable and fabric softener/vinegar works well enough for me.
All I have is acrylic. Do I gotta worry about clothes moths?
Do clothes moths eat acrylic yarn?
I've noticed a few moths (not sure if they are clothes moths yet) around my house and before I start panicking, do I even have to worry if all of my yarn is acrylic? (I'm already reorganizing my yarn stash so I'll figure it out eventually probably)
Also yes I know, I'm sorry, I've heard everything there has to be said about acrylic, I know. Thank you for not judging my yarn choices!
My daughter (4, autistic) tests the boundaries of everything. Literally almost ripped the staircase out of her dollhouse cause it was loose. She loves to test the strength of something to its breaking point (me included 😩)
Anyway, we were at a health fair for the upcoming school year, and the teachers graciously offered to watch my daughter so I could fill out some online forms while we were there.
As I am doing this, I hear a teacher say "oh I didn't even know it opened that way" and I look over to see my daughter had opened the glass door of a display case. I made this face 😅 and said
"Yeah she loves testing the boundaries of everything" and every single teacher had a look of tired understanding and sympathy.
I had to laugh about it cause I wonder if teachers are as grateful to send our kids home as we are sending our kids to school? Like are they thinking "I am so glad I don't have to deal with this kid at home" just like I am thinking "thank the universe for school"?
I love my kid, so so much, and am also excited for school to come so I can get a break from constantly having to redirect my kid 😅
Her teachers are amazing by the way, they love her and do so much for her and I am so grateful for them
For fucks sake. Everything today has been
Me: tries to do thing. Can't do thing because something else is in the way. Does the other thing to do the original thing. Nope still have to do one more thing to do the the original thing!!
Why can't it just fucking work the first time? Or even the second?! I'd kill for shit to work the second time!
All I wanted was to go fishing today. And I did! I caught my first ever fish today! But before I could even cast my line in the water, baby was hungry. Okay, fed him now I can fish? Nope, toddler wants a snack. Now can I fish? Yes but only for 5 minutes before baby cries.
We get home, I want to put toddler in her kiddie pool. First I have to empty said pool cause water is gross. Cool easy right? Nope!!! Takes me 3 tries to empty the pool due to shitty cheap fucking plastic. Okay cool pool is empty. Now I just have to put the hose in and fill it up right? Nope! The outside water isn't on! I go inside to turn it on and I can't reach the stupid handle!! I go get the step ladder, I can't unfold it all the way cause our laundry room is a disaster. I lean the ladder against the washer and I'm so short the first step doesn't help so I have to take the second step. Now I can go fill up the pool.
I'm on an antibiotic for mastitis, my 4 year old toddler almost caused an accident twice in the car today by throwing toys at her dad while he was driving, and I can't drink alcohol because I'm on the antibiotic 😭 take a shot of whiskey for me I've fucking had it today
So I co sleep at night. I side lay breastfeed my 3m old. I wear a bra at night but my other boob leaks. If I wear a collection cup wouldn't the milk go bad by the time morning comes? It's good for 4 hours in room temp but I'm probably not going to get up in the middle of the might to actually put the milk away (I'm a slight over supplier).
I feel bad letting the milk go to waste but I know myself enough to know I wouldn't risk waking baby just to put an ounce of milk away. So should I just use a towel or is it worth getting the collection cup? I'm debating the collection cup simply so I don't wake up with a damp smelly cheese towel on me in the morning.
Thoughts?
Haven't had a moment to myself in over two weeks. Literally woke up with a stress fever. Called into work, fever broke, said "fuck it" im staying home anyway. I spent my 4 hours I'd usually be at work, resting. I think I had to say to my husband "I'm not here right now, I'm at work" like twice before he finally got it. Even explained to him my body literally is forcing me to reevaluate how I navigate our routine. The 4 hour recharge helped a little.
But of course when I "came home" from "work" (i.e my 4 hours were up) the 4 year old started whining and the baby wants my attention. Of course dinner didn't get cleaned up. Of course my toddler doesn't fucking sleep because she's neurodivergent and her entire being doesn't know how to calm tf down. It's 2:45am. We are watching Luca for the second time in a row because I said "fuck it" let's just sit upstairs until she literally passes put from exhaustion because it's summer and she doesn't know how to sleep by herself.
I'm tired. So unbelievably fucking tired. And I know it's not gonna be like this forever. I know what needs to change. I know what i need to do. I know tonight is The consequences of letting my husband take the easy fucking way out last weekend by letting her fall asleep in our bed and transferring her instead of doing her bedtime routine (God forbid he have to do her "boring" routine.)
I have to grow some fucking lady balls and tell my husband "no, I'm taking a shower." "No, do her routine properly." "No, you are also taking the baby" "no, you need to help me clean up dinner" etc. I love him because he is an involved loving husband and father. But he is also entitled and inconsiderate. Both can be (and are) true at the same time. Just like im a good mom/wife, and I am also neurotic and difficult to please.
Idk where im going with this other than its almost 3am and my toddler is only just starting to yawn. Also yes, I gave her melatonin over 3 hours ago it doesn't fucking work anymore.
I am determined to go up north to visit friends in August. We live in northern Wisconsin and we love hiking and camping. Hotels are way too expensive and we always get a state park sticker anyway, but I know it is going to suck with our kids. Even with our first, it didn't go smoothly until after she turned 2. But she was born in November, so by the time we could go camping with her she was already sitting up/crawling. Our youngest is currently 3m old and I need some tips and tricks for camping with a 4y old and a 3m old.
What works? What wouldn't most people think to bring? Share your horror stories and success stories with me please!
For the record, I am anticipating struggle. But I want to try. I am determined to make this work.
Basically the title, tldr: my husband teaches/let's our daughter(4y) get away with bad habits and i need him to learn why these things are not good.
my husband is Autistic. He struggles with understanding what's considered rude in social situations, has had to learn (the hard way, several times) how to not overstay his welcome, doesn't understand why its awkward to ask/expect things of strangers, has zero fear of asking for help/offering random advice to strangers etc. (That last one can be good or bad. None of these are seriously awful things, and I hate correcting him because I am adhd neurodivergent and I hate social norms).
Anyway, my daughter is also Autistic, and struggles with boundaries (doesn't understand ownership, runs up to strangers for hugs, will tug on/pull other kids roughly, etc). My husband thinks its fine (good even) to let her be crazy in the store, climb on things, be way too loud, and bother strangers.
I've tried telling him "other people deserve a calm shopping experience" and his response is always "well daughter is cute people don't mind".
They do mind. I know, because I've been on the other side and kids are fucking annoying in the store, especially if they're allowed to run around.
My husband also doesn't correct our daughter at the park when she takes things from other kids, or gets in their space, or pushes/hits. He, again, thinks she's just being a cute kid. And maybe she is, but the other kids don't think that. And our daughter needs to learn not to take things that aren't hers.
Today my husband sent me a picture of our daughter roller skating. Our daughter doesn't own roller skates. I asked "where'd she get those?" His response was "another kid let her wear them". Is it wrong that I immediately knew that our daughter had gone up, taken those skates, and the other kid allowed it but only after our daughter had taken them?
I just don't know how to explain to my husband that our daughter needs us to teach her boundaries, every single time she does these things.
Some other behaviors he (and some other adults) let her get away with: stealing food out of our hands (this is obviously not okay), pushing/pulling/hitting (I hate when people put the autism as the explanation/excuse for this one it's not okay that she does this), touching everything/anything she can get her hands on (especially in the store or at someone else's house).
My daughter definitely benefits from school, and summer has been hard but I just want my husband to understand that we cannot allow our daughter to make people uncomfortable with her behavior just because she's cute and Autistic. She needs to understand boundaries now, before she has to learn the hard way like he did.
My daughter (4f) is low support needs Autistic. We have a new baby (3m M). I've (29 F) been struggling with PPD pretty bad. My husband (35M) does the best he can do, he's a godsend, and it's not enough.
My daughter is the problem today. She doesn't fucking sleep. If I put her to bed at 9pm, she will wake up at 4am. No amount of boundaries or gentle parenting can get this kid to stfu and go back to fucking sleep. I know, I'm being harsh. I'm so fucking tired. I am so fucking done. She is constantly talking amd scripting. Lately she's been throwing fits because she doesn't get enough exercise because when the fuck do I have time to take her outside when I have a goddamn baby at my boob all the time and only get to sleep at like 4am. We sleep until like 2pm because my kids keep me awake until 4am.
I know what I need to do. Throw the tablet out. (I fucking hate that tablet. It doesn't help. I hate that my husband got the stupid thing)
Get my toddler out of my bed (she started sleeping in our bed when I was pregnant and couldn't physically sing her to sleep in her own bed)
And I have to start getting up earlier despite my lack of sleep.
All of this requires me to be fucking regulated. All of this requires me to not be hopelessly depressed. I'm on a new medication, I'm doing the therapy. I'm just so fucking done.
What made me cry was my daughter biting the blanket I spent almost a year making for her, and almost ripping a hole in it. Why can't she just play quietly with her stuffies? Why does she have to test every single fucking boundary of everything?! Why must she throw a fit with every transition? Every correction I make is met with pushback and whining. I just want to give up and call the CLTS lady and beg for respite. But I fucking love my daughter. When I'm not a PPD ridden exhausted mess of a human with a newborn on me, I love my daughter and am really good at being there with her through her meltdowns. I'm a really good mom when I'm not at my wits end.
I'm not a good mom today. I fucking hate today.
I, all of a sudden, the last few feedings, feel like suddenly bursting into tears. I know it's the hormones associated with breastfeeding but it's a recent thing. Like the last few days, every time I latch my baby or pump I get this sudden wave of wanting to burst into tears. It almost feels like panic? I'm 8 weeks PP so idk why this is happening now.
How do I get my routine back? You know, the weekly routine of doing housework that's like "on Saturdays we wash our clothes, Sundays we change the bedsheets, Tuesdays we restock this blah blah blah"
Tell me why all of that went out the window when my second kid was born 8 weeks ago and bow my entire routine is gone? House in complete dissaray.
Nothing is functional, I don't sleep, I have no time for anything. I literally printed off a schedule and penciled in tasks and the amount of "free" time we all get is like, non existent.
How do I get back on a scheduled routine with a baby and a 4 year old?
Help
After my toddler causing havoc all day, pushing every boundary, being overstimulating and absolutely crazy, she wound up biting my mother in law. (because socks from Bluey bites and she was scripting the scene-she's Autistic and does lots of scripting) I had enough and brought her downstairs to her dad (baby in my arms) and handed the baby to him so I could put the toddler to bed.
Got the toddler ready for bed, and went to grab the baby and go upstairs to nurse him. Husband stops me to show me how to rotate baby's hips to help with gas. I know this. He wanted praise for this. I said
"I have to pee I'll be right back" husband groans, to which I go
"Yeah, I know you're rotating his hips to get him to fart, got that. I have to pee I'll be right back" probably could've been nicer about it. Whatever.
I go pee, revel in 5 minutes of silence, and go back. Husband is changing baby's diaper, toddler is crying about not getting her tablet before bed. (This is my husband's decision)
Completely unprompted my husband comes in and looks down at me and says
"You're a fun sucker".
I am stunned. And I knew it was because instead of humoring his stupid technique of gas passing, I had to pee. The stupidest reason to get upset at me. I lost it. I glared up at him and walked past him, up the stairs and said
"I need five fucking minutes where I'm not in charge of anything"
and slammed the front door on my way out to sit outside.
I'm so fucking tired of being in charge of two tiny humans and a man who cannot be considerate unless it also benefits him.
Internet is less than helpful. When does this vertical line on my belly from being pregnant fade? I gave birth a little over a month ago. I wouldn't mind it if it were a straight line, but mine is curved weird and I hate it. Does it go away? I'd rather have more stretch marks than this ugly curved line on my skin
TLDR: im just rambling abput how tired i am
Baby is a month old and still waking every hour at night. Not during the day of course, he'll sleep 2-3 hours straight when I need to eat, or do laundry or be awake for my toddler. But at night he wakes every hour on the hour.
And the constant eating is really getting to me. He was on my boob for over 45 minutes at one point today and then 15 minutes later went on again. My supply was low today because I didn't drink as much fluids as I should have so I'm frustrated about that. And now it's 2am and he finally fell asleep after eating for 30 minutes. I'm not looking forward to going to bed knowing I'm just gonna get woken up an hour from now.
My husband will take him after 5am Thankfully. But only on the weekends. I'm dreading the week ahead being sleep deprived with no respite for 5 days straight. I'm dreading tonight. I'm dreading tomorrow night. I'm dreading the next hour when he wants my boob again. I have to be sparing with the bottle because I didn't get more than 3 feedings worth of milk pumped because my supply was low and I don't want to dip into my stash (but I will if it means I get some fucking sleep after 5am)
I'm rambling and hoping after I put my baby in his crib he sleeps for more than an hour. I'm tired of feeling so much dread and sadness at night and I'm tired of not getting enough sleep
They've been at it since 8am. The grass isn't even high *what are you leaf blowing for 4 hours straight?!*
My neighbors also sprayed their lawn already. We aren't even out of frost advisories yet 😑 (northern wisconsin)
I do not know how this affects formula feeding babies/mothers but I'm curious if it still happens!
Newborns apparently calm down for dads/non breastfeeding parents better and sleep better when they put the baby to sleep because babies can smell breastmilk and it causes them to wake up? Also something about oxytocin release being stronger from bio mom or something. Anyway I'm annoyed about it cause my baby wakes up every 30 minutes for me, but as soon as it's my husband's turn to do a night feeding, little dude sleeps for 3 hours straight.
Wtf man
I literally had to jump over a rather large bee crawling on my basement floor. It resembled a bumblebee but could have also been a carpenter bee. It was crawling, not flying so it's either just waking up from hibernation (zone 4b in april) or it's lethargic and needs food. I put a ceramic mug over it for now. I'm trying to get my newborn and toddler settled so I can slip some paper under the mug and take it outside and try to get a picture.
Anyway my question is, is this a common occurrence? I know queen wasps will hibernate indoors. I'm thinking of the bumblebee nest we always find under our deck near the foundation of our home (and all of the bumblebees that lived in the foundation cracks in my childhood home). I want this bee to live so do I just put her on a flower outside? Give her sugar water and hope she doesn't attack me? I love bees, I just don't know much about them. Thanks in advance!
The only thing that works to calm my fussy, gassy, overtired 3 week old right now is playing Schism by Tool
I mean, whatever works right? Kid has good taste