u/ExistingComparison70

weird question, I know. I’ve just never lived in a city before. 22M. I want to socialize and live life a little more, but I really don’t want to live within the city center. I value the peace and quiet/ better access to nature.

more specifically, I’m looking into Denver, but advice from any city is appreciated. I’m looking at places 20-25 minutes outside the city center (Lakewood, Arvada, Littleton, etc) and I’m ok with driving that distance on the weekends and what not, but I continue to hear from people in NYC or Chicago that if you aren’t immediately nearby, people don’t pay you any mind. the vast majority of people don’t want to hang out or date you. is this true cities the size of denver as well? it sounds ridiculous but I just don’t know if it’s a city norm I’m unaware of. cheers.

weird question, I know. I’ve just never lived in a city. 22M. I want to socialize more and live life a little more, but I really don’t want to live within the city. I value the peace and quiet/ better access to nature.

im looking at places 20-25 minutes outside the city center (Lakewood, Arvada, Littleton, etc) and I’m ok with driving that distance on the weekends and what not, but I continue to hear from people in NYC or Chicago that if you aren’t immediately nearby, people don’t pay you any mind. the vast majority of people don’t want to hang out or date you. is this true for Denver as well? it sounds ridiculous but I just don’t know if it’s a city norm I’m unaware of. cheers.

I have learned over the course of the past 4 months as I travel around the country, that I am a very anxious person. it’s never really come up before, but the stress of moving has made me into a much more stressed and anxious person.

i am in a fortunate position in that I am remote. Im from a small town and I really just want to make more friends and be able to do more fun things. I’ve made 3 day trips to a couple of places I was interested in: Chicago, Austin, and Denver; I ended up hating them all within the first few hours, and booking flights back the next day, wasting a ton of money in the process.

I just don’t know if I’m even justified in “hating“ these places though. I can’t tell if I just don’t like change and my brain is just trying to come with reasons why I don’t like that place, or if I actually don’t like them, because I feel so much better when I’m back home. Austin was too hot, Chicago was too grimey, chicago landscape was too bland, etc. but how do I even tell if I truly will like a place by only visiting it for 3 days? I’ve never been this judgey or picky before, I’ve even studied abroad in the past and it was no big deal.

things have just changed when I got 2 cats, and now I either have some sort of separation anxiety, or maybe it’s something else entirely - but I think they play a factor. I’m always worried about them when I’m gone. I live with a roommate but they haven’t taken care of them in the past when I have paid them to, and they also learned they are allergic. we’ve also gotten a pet sitter before but the cats run and hide and won’t come out while they are around.

im just tired of spending money and traveling, it’s a lot of work. I don’t have much time left and I’ve got my lease running up in a month. I feel like the best bet is just to move somewhere and risk it, but that is really scary, I hate to waste money on nothing.

I think some of my fears could be alleviated if I had my own place and could spruce up more places then just my bedroom so that the cats were more entertained while I was gone, and also be able to get them accustomed to some pet sitter.

huge ramble that has a simple answer of “stop worrying so much” but I just can’t no matter how much I try, every visit to somewhere is a drag and I don’t like it. i doubt anyone has this exact issue, but how would you deal with it?