r/SameGrassButGreener

By affordable, assume cost-of-living so someone on minimum wage could comfortably live with roommates, or a 1-bedroom apartment on the higher end of a five-figure salary. I understand costs are rising nationally regardless, but I speak in relative terms. I also understand that there may even be affordable areas and neighborhoods of generally high-cost-of-living areas like New York and San Francisco, but perhaps at the cost of general safety and crime. Do any of these 25 metro areas have affordability and safety? As a follow-up, what are the desirable neighborhoods and areas of these cities?

1. New York–Newark–Jersey City, NY-NJ
2. Los Angeles–Long Beach–Anaheim, CA
3. Chicago–Naperville–Elgin, IL-IN
4. Dallas–Fort Worth–Arlington, TX
5. Houston–Pasadena–The Woodlands, TX
6. Atlanta–Sandy Springs–Roswell, GA
7. Washington–Arlington–Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV
8. Miami–Fort Lauderdale–West Palm Beach, FL
9. Philadelphia–Camden–Wilmington, PA-NJ-DE-MD
10. Phoenix–Mesa–Chandler, AZ
11. Boston–Cambridge–Newton, MA-NH
12. Riverside–San Bernardino–Ontario, CA
13. San Francisco–Oakland–Fremont, CA
14. Detroit–Warren–Dearborn, MI
15. Seattle–Tacoma–Bellevue, WA
16. Minneapolis–St. Paul–Bloomington, MN-WI
17. Tampa–St. Petersburg–Clearwater, FL
18. San Diego–Chula Vista–Carlsbad, CA
19. Denver–Aurora–Centennial, CO
20. Orlando–Kissimmee–Sanford, FL
21. Charlotte–Concord–Gastonia, NC-SC
22. Baltimore–Columbia–Towson, MD
23. St. Louis, MO-IL
24. San Antonio–New Braunfels, TX
25. Austin–Round Rock–San Marcos, TX

I know this probably sounds odd but I’m considering either. Would love to hear from anyone living in these areas.

Tiny bit about me, currently living in DFW. Remote job, no kids nor planning on it, no debt to my name. Making a little over 4,000 a month post tax and around 20k in savings.

Heat is no issue, I absolutely love love love it. Anything under 60 is cold to me.

I’ve always loved South Fl, went to college in Sarasota but didn’t feel like I could take advantage of it fully as I was swamped with schoolwork. With my current job I have so much free time I’m not sure what to do with. I enjoy the beach, nature, and theme parks, but living in FL again still feels kind of “been there, done that” to me, and I believe it’s more expensive then where I’m currently at.

I’m considering LV due to its cheap COL (it’s actually cheaper than where I’m currently living), no income tax, and proximity to CA and national parks. It also seems to offer a lot more than my current city. Of course if I had it my way I’d move to SoCal but obviously that’s not in my budget lol. I don’t drink at all and am not a partier by any means so not sure how that factors into everything. I think I have an itch to experience living on the West Coast as well- don’t think I could do OR or WA as I love sunshine.

I think mainly what I’m looking for is somewhere you have a lot at your fingertips. I genuinely think anything would be an improvement from where I’m currently living, so I’m all ears if anyone has any other suggestions.

Im wondering what the least "keeping up with the Joneses" places in the US are (other countries information would be interesting too but I live in the states). Like places where materialism isn't popular and the people understand that it is a rat race. Does any enlightened place like that even exist?

I suppose the most materialistic place is LA in my opinion

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I am wondering if others experience regular denials for jobs because of the sabbath. I for one was once told I couldn't be allowed to keep it because it would be favoritism. I know someone who can't find work due to this. I know people who have been fired.

Where in the united states is it easier to find jobs that allow you to work sunday through friday?

I am thinking of letting one of them move in with me when I leave Mississippi.

I am leaving blindly hoping other states are more inclusive. Edit : sabbath = Friday night to Saturday night. We keep Torah law and are not part Judaism though we are abrFriday?

Edited for wording to get better feedback.

Curious where people would choose to live if circumstances and or money was not a factor, on a soul level.

Mine would be:
Chicago, (Gold Coast, Old town, River North) - not full time, no winters.

Arizona: Scottsdale/Bisbee/
Flagstaff, Tucson.

Palm Springs, CA.

ABQ, or High Desert New Mexico

-NOLA,
-Charleston, SC
-Savannah, GA

Some Mountain town in NC.
I would probably be Bicoastal lol.

As the title says. Why should I not move there?

Early 30s male in finance who leans liberal. A good dating life is important for the move too

As the title says, I'm 34F, single, and work in tech. I'm not completely dissatisfied with my life in SF--I have my small circle of friends, I take advantage of nature, events, etc--but having also lived in Mexico City for 2 years, I miss the energy that a proper city provides. I like arts & culture, walkability, and diverse urban design. I also haven't had any luck finding guys I'm interested in dating here in SF, and I've been rather depressed the two years I've been here.

My company is giving me the option to relocate to their office in NYC, so I feel I should just go for it since I don't have anything tying me down in SF and I've always wondered 'what-if'.

The main reasons I'm hesitant to move are:

- I've lived in SF for 2 years now and am finally getting comfortable

- Having to rebuild community/support network (I'm quite an introvert, and building even my small group in SF has taken a lot of work)

- The winters in NYC seem brutal (SF is too cold for me most days)

- If it doesn't work out and I decide to relocate, seems like a lot of wasted effort?

I should add that my main priorities right now are finding that longterm partner and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

What do you think? Should I do it? Or is moving to NYC overrated and I should just keep building on what I have going on in SF since at my age it takes so long to build a solid community?

22m, moving from a calm & tranquil town w/ weather I like to the city (Denver specifically) moving is the only logical choice for my career and future. staying where I am leaves me lonely and possibly without work in the near future, let alone any future at all.

I’m just not excited. I make the same wherever I go (remote) so I am paying much more ($600+) each month for a worse apartment and am in a climate I don’t enjoy as much (it’s pretty decent by most standards), but it’s the closest I could get to where I currently am.

im excited to finally have the ability to make friends (no events/ hardly anyone my age here) and I know growing my career is necessary, but I’m just filled with dread more than anything. the money, the new environment, the unrealized gains, I don’t know. it may all just be in my head and I’ll like it once I get settled in, though

has anyone else ever felt this way? did you end up getting over it? did you end up moving back? thanks.

I’m looking to move but first of want to visit the place. I am in a bad living situation so I’m looking for a short term rental until I can move and will leave as soon as tomorrow.

My main goals right now:

Good weather, not too hot or cold.
Hiking, trees, nature (need to heal)
Sunshine, not cloudy, foggy weather (I get sad)
Cute downtown area with a good coffee shop

A swimming spot that’s warm enough to swim in would be an absolute bonus.

Any tips?

As the title suggests my wife got a good job in her field in Queens so we got a place in the city because her job is harder to move than mine. The thing is ive always lived in heavilly rural lots of trees birds chirping untouched nature, bird watchong, hunting, etc and quite honestly i never liked urban environments. I didnt come here because i wanted to Im not some expat here like others might assume to "strike it rich" id gladly take half of what im making now just to live in a slow area. I have always not been a fan of cities so i didnt come here expecting something else but i didnt realize how cruddy id feel everyday.

I am making this post to see if anyone else has had a similar experience of moving to a city not because they wanted to but for other reasons and if im alone in how badly its affecting me. I feel bad because i come home stressed and miserable after dealing with the city. The commute is the absolute worst part of it i hate going to and from work everythings too fast paced and the loudness and shouting and beeping and honking it all just leaves me in a bad mood by the time i get home. I dont like crowded areas so i dont go outside after work and i used to run in the woods everyday where i use to live but now i just dont want to deal with more people after work so i just sit at home. I just want to know if im the only one who feels like this. I feel bad because i want to stay here for the sake of my wife but honestly i just never enjoyed cities and now living in the city of all cities its quite the adjustment...

I'm going to be moving to the mainland very soon. I am extremely nervous about it, I've visited multiple times but visiting is different from living somewhere.

This is a fairly highly specific experience, but the culture shock that I experience whenever I have visited the mainland is crazy considering it is the same country. As someone who spent their entire life in Hawaii, even though Hawaii is a state, the culture here is legitimately distinct and not just in a "oh, we like this food here" kind of thing.

It is much more conformist and conservative ( not in a republican way, but in an East asian way). To the point where, I think that your average Republicans are actually more ideologically liberal in some ways than your average person here who votes blue.

I think family structure is considered to be much more important in Hawaii, and your lowkey expected to put your family of everything else. Many local parents expect you to take care of them when they're old.

Whenever my boyfriend has gone out and people have tried to speak to us in public on the mainland he gets weirded out by it, wondering why people over there talk so much.

I remember there was a lady talking to us in the store once when we were in the PNW, and my boyfriend was saying how much he hated the area because people talk to strangers and emphasized how she was weird for complimenting me so passionately.

He actually got uncomfortable with how many compliments I got from strangers, just because he's just not used to that.

Something that i've also noticed is that I get complimented regularly over there, which pretty much never happens here from people who are actually from here ( it is always tourists).

If you want to know something funny, I've actually seen cashiers from the mainland get yelled at by locals here for talking too much and being told to shut up.

I remember this one time, we had a cashier from California who was Asian so people who would assume that she was a local, until she spoke. A local man told her to "stop talking so much" in Japanese, because he assumed that she was herself was Japanese. She said that she was not Japanese after he asked and then he told her that she talked too much in English.

I just think it's a much more reserved culture in some ways when you're outside of the touristy areas. The only person that I know who makes regular small talk with strangers is someone who is mentally challenged ( I don't mean that as an insult, it is meant literally), while on the mainland I feel like it's a much more normal default position to have.

I never get into conversations at the grocery store, or in the elevator here like people talk about. It's like a parallel universe to me.

Also, something that is weird for me is when people tell you that they want to hang out, and they don't actually want to do that. I've never experienced that here. I think that's more of a west coast American white people thing to do lol. I think that people in Hawaii are just less likely to extend any sort of invitation to people who they just met like that, unless it's actually a plan of theirs.

I also think that white and black American people tend to smile at strangers more, which is something I am not used to. The only times that people have done that is when they are trying to actually scam me here because they often assume that i'm not from here.

It's also weird seeing how more individualistic the culture is. In Hawaii, you don't see a lot of alternative people when it seems that even in conservative areas of the mainland they are comparably everywhere, even places you would not expect like Tennessee. It's fun. Everyone in Hawaii is kind of boring lol.

Also, something that I have noticed is that people here did not have a filter and a lot of topics are considered fine to talk or joke about here that would be considered taboo in most of the country.

None of this is exactly bad, it's just very different. I feel like living in Hawaii is unique experience due to the fact that it's so isolated and it's kind of a cultural enclave.

States that are not frequently visited by out of state or international tourists, are not well known to foreigners, its major cities or historic cities are not frequently mentioned by the typical American, doesn’t have well known landmarks, famous streets, publically known events, etc.

I’m just guessing here, because I’ve only ever lived in Hawaii, and have not lived in the contiguous US, but some that come to mind are West Virginia, Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, Mississippi, Arkansas, Delaware, Rhode Island.

I’m a mom in a small town and lately I’ve been feeling stuck. I keep thinking a move could help me mentally, financially, and just give me a better environment overall.
BUT, then I look around and most people I know, seem perfectly happy staying around here. I don’t understand it. It’s starting to make me question myself and wonder if I’m romanticizing moving too much.
lol & before anyone says you need therapy or moving won’t fix your mental healthI’ve already done the self-work. This isn’t some random impulse decision. I’ve been thinking, planning, researching, and saving for this for almost 2 years now.

I also understand the world is kind of going to shit right now lol, so I’m not expecting some magical perfect life. I just want a better environment, more opportunities, and a chance to grow instead of feeling stagnant all the time.

I really loved Chicago when I moved here and thought I’d live here forever, but the quality of life here has declined significantly since 2025. My partner has lived here much longer is looking to leave as well. She has a sibling who is transgender, so this is a consideration. I’ll be entering residency soon.

Her: 35F registered nurse, lives in the nicer part of the south side of Chicago (Beverly)
Me: 27F MD student, living in Lincoln Park.

What I still like about Chicago: LGBTQ friendly. People are generally nice. It’s in a blue state with decent healthcare protections. Great architecture. I wouldn’t say the weather is terrible. I like seasons! Cold winters and hot summers.

What I used to like about Chicago: it’s _was_ a walkable city but over the last couple of years the trains and buses have become very unsafe which means I’m driving a lot more. Also people smoke on the train and if I smell like smoke in the clinic, I have to go home. My rotations take me to Melrose Park from time to time as well and that’s a very long drive.

What we’ve never liked about Chicago: constant taxes and fees. We don’t mind high taxes, but less surprises would be nice.

My partner has a child and the schools here are very bad with lots of violence in the classroom. She’s currently considering private schools which is going to stretch us until I’m out of residency.

Healthcare salaries are very, very bad here. Particularly for nurses.

Wants: nature would be nice. We like being able to get into city, but we both also like nature. Chicago can be very grey most of the time. We’d love to own some land in the future.

Stretches: partner does competitive shooting, but also said she doesn’t have to keep doing it. Illinois laws make it somewhat difficult and they’re becoming more and more restrictive. Not the end of the world. She also does archery.

Moves we’re considering:

- Philadelphia or somewhere else in Pennsylvania
- Some place in Michigan
- Oregon/Washington/PNW
- New York City/State

I saw another user was asking on r/SameGrassButGreener about taking a job reassignment near Tulsa, OK. I was inspired to write a little blurb about this cool place I have called home now for more than 6 years. I tried posting it there, but it got taken down, maybe my language? I tried to censor a bit more on this draft. I thought maybe the community here would like this, I hope you do!

My wife is from Skiatook and I met her here while I was interning as a programmer over the summer of 2019 at 22 years old. Tulsa was is the perfect “big city” to me, my small hometown Iowa city’s population has struggled to maintain 8k for decades, despite being the county seat. So yeah, Tulsa wasn’t Chicago, but it’s got everything I really need. After that summer, I got the job offer after graduating and moved in Feb 2020. I started March 2nd and was in the office just about 2 weeks before working remotely indefinitely. I managed to keep my job! (luck was certainly on my side).

I have since built a life here, I love my family, friends, even trying to love, or at least like, my silly and annoying neighbors.

I have really grown to love this place over the years, and especially my neighborhood, Brookside. I feel like I have everything I need in walking distance and I personally love walking, even on those hot summer days. I have the river trails half a mile from my house, along with lots of food, shopping, and grocery stores all in about a mile. The people here are nice enough too, mostly live and let live types. The city and surrounding area is rich with natural, cultural, historical places and stuff to do.

As someone who has had to fly for work, and a few times for vacation too, the airport is SO nice. Maybe it’s a bit more inconvenient than hub airports with more direct flights, but I can usually just roll up like 1hr - 30 min before boarding and I’m never sweating it. I connect in DFW or ORD and never need more than a 1 hr layover.

The biking culture here is so fun! Great trails, lots of races to go to, beer to be drank, good times to be had. I’ll see y’all on the hill passing out beers all day. June 7th IYKY.

The river trails are great for more than just biking too: walks, runs, rollerblading, skateboarding, one-wheeling, cartwheeling, bird watching, people watching, people-on-wakeboards surfing-the-Arkansas-river watching, kite guy!!!!, etc etc. The Gathering Place is honestly so cool. And so much fun around other neighborhoods too. Party it up Downtown or on Cherry street. Farmers markets, cute local shops, pretty great food options IMHO. Baseball games, concerts, hockey, indoor football, just so much stuff that is fun to do around here.

The region is cool too, go to OKC, check out the OKC 🐓 ring, ride the tram in circles, cry that Loaded Bowl is closed, and see the Thunder play, and lose (Damn you Wemby!!). All this only a 90 minute drive, 60 if you’re cool like that. If you like camping, the entire Ozarks are 1-3 hours drive away, or Broken Bow, or dozens of state campgrounds. If you love to appreciate a good prairie habitat, the Tall-grass Prairie Reserve is 2 hrs north and has Bison and beautiful views! Keep a look out for prairie chickens! They disappeared and we can’t find them!

I’ve left a lot out that I love about this place, but that’s some highlights, pls add anything you love about Tulsa or the area!

I love my little corner of Green Country, and there’s lots of negatives I could list, of which I do have plenty, no place is perfect. I know it ain’t for everyone, but it’s all pretty green to me.

Hello all! My fiancé and I are currently in the northeast/Mid-Atlantic and are considering relocating.

He works in sales/software (specifically ISP) and is pursuing another degree in pre-law through his company; I’m currently working for Apple. Our current careers make lateral relocations relatively easy, but I majored in Human Resources so I’m also seeking out positions there. Either way, we would theoretically have work secured in most parts of the country. We've both started talks of relocating with our respective management teams and everything is looking good.

I saw a lot of similar posts here but most people had very different priorities so I wanted to ask more directly. We’re looking for:

• Warmer leaning climate
• More robust city & night life (we're not going out everyday, but enjoy having the option to go out and socialize)
• Preferably diverse demographically
• In good spot for a higher COL with current & projected salaries but likely not on the Seattle/Denver/LA level
• Diverse food options

We've been looking at St. Augustine, FL, Daytona, FL, Nevada, near Austin, TX... any insight to those areas too is great. I've tried to do my own research but it all seems incredibly biased (e.g. "it's amazing here!" or "it's overpopulated, sucks, and you will be miserable").

We’re both comfortable with driving, having a bit of a commute, taking day trips for more “popular” activities, but good public transportation would be a bonus. Thank you all for any insight you may have.

Hey, everyone. I have a seizure disorder; will be forever unable to drive and currently live in Michigan. I am really, really struggling to meet basic needs like traveling to/from work and acquiring necessities. Also because of my disability, I don't really have a lot of extra cash and would cap out at 1200/mo maximum (all utilities and such included). I'm looking for areas that have job opportunity, all necessities preferably close together, and either mostly walkable or equipped with cheap/safe public transit

I don’t know why, but as a 30-year-old, I constantly crave the early 2000s. I genuinely wish I could’ve experienced that era as an adult. Life just seemed slower, warmer, more personal, and less overwhelming.

And yes, I know I’m probably romanticizing things a little and life isn’t literally a movie 🙄 I know no place is perfect or magically stuck in 2000 I’m just talking about a feeling/vibe.

Lately I’ve realized I want my 30s to feel like I’m living inside a 2000s romcom or a Norah Jones song 😂. Cozy coffee shops, local bookstores, simple routines, walkable neighborhoods, less overconsumption, less pressure, more actual living.
I know people are calling it “underconsumption” now, but I think I’m just craving a softer, slower lifestyle that feels more human and less modernized/corporate.
So now I’m curious..is there anywhere in the U.S. that still feels like that? A slower-paced, walkable town or city with local stores, older architecture, maybe places that haven’t been fully renovated into the modern gray aesthetic? Somewhere that still has that cozy early-2000s feeling?

I (25M) moved to LA almost a year ago as I was working remote in NYC and always wanted to try living in LA. I’m very adventurous and don’t mind being alone, so moving here alone wasn’t scary to me but exhilarating. I live in WeHo and have a convertible and rooftop pool with great views and garaged parking. Lots of access to the great restaurants and bars here as well. However, I’m finding LA to lack the excitement I’m used to. After awhile it’s started to feel a bit flat, and because it’s so spread out I find myself not being as spontaneous as I’m used to. So now I’m considering moving back east to Boston where I’m from, couple that with that I’m trying to move into the family business. I don’t want to cut and run from LA as I enjoy it and especially the beautiful weather, but I don’t think it’s really serving my career or life goals anymore beyond never wondering “what if” when I’m 35 which is priceless. Thoughts?