u/sourcakecheese

Hey, everyone! I should specify that for me, this is about mediums that either take up a lot of space or are made with materials that are not easy to find -- but how do you overcome feeling like creating bad art is wasteful? I've recently tried to get into making clothes and there has been a lot of failure/waste, and a big part of why I am trying it is to REDUCE environmental waste. So how do you cope with it going in a landfill?

Hey, everyone. I have a seizure disorder; will be forever unable to drive and currently live in Michigan. I am really, really struggling to meet basic needs like traveling to/from work and acquiring necessities. Also because of my disability, I don't really have a lot of extra cash and would cap out at 1200/mo maximum (all utilities and such included). I'm looking for areas that have job opportunity, all necessities preferably close together, and either mostly walkable or equipped with cheap/safe public transit

Hey everyone. I am new to sewing (never used a machine, can only do things by hand) and I recently tried cheaply upcycling a bag I found at a flea market to basically test the waters before I recreated a novelty bag I fell in love with online, but didn't want to spend $40 on. After acquiring everything I needed (embellishments, ribbon, chains, hooks, etc) I already sat at $30...and then had to actually make the damn thing!! Growing up, I was always told by my maternal grandmother that it would be cheaper to make your own stuff. I especially wanted to do this for clothing because I have a very unique body shape where nothing. ever. fits. off. rack. EVER!!! And on top of that, I really hate buying cheap clothes made with child labor that eventually ends up falling apart. I also know the chemicals in fast fashion are bad for humans/environment, so I wanted to do the financially and morally safe thing to do, but this project has kind of overwhelmed me and made me question whether making things myself is really cheaper/longer lasting ... Please !! I am looking for advice on how to bring these costs down, or what my other options could possibly be. Thank you

Hey, everyone. I'm a 27yr ace Hispanic nonbinary person experiencing a new queer relationship, and this person is much more well versed in gay culture than I am. It's been kind of intimidating learning so many terms, events, and expectations that were previously lost on me, so I have been trying to educate myself more...but I cannot help noticing a lot of this is mostly if not exclusively rooted in experiences surrounding allosexual, cis, white, gay men. Why is so much of the language, meet ups, fashion, and general sense of community focused in these ideas? How do I educate myself more and follow in the footsteps of my nonwhite/gnc/mspec/disabled ancestors?

Any autistic guys out there had successful experiences cruising? or has it all been painful and awkward lol. I'm trying to figure out if I can have this right of passage of if it's another life experience autism stops us from doing!

used to be almost 300lbs and now I'm around 190. The amount my underarms sag from having been so fat is unreal -- at least several inches of loose skin. It makes wearing anything that's not long sleeves a nightmare, and honestly you can still even see it in long sleeve clothing. Is there any hope for me outside of surgery?

Hey, everyone! I recently found a tank top whose straps were made of chain and fell in love. I now want to upcycle old shirts and bags to have chain straps. My question is -- where's the best place to find (either metal or plastic) chains, of varying sizes and colors? Thanks!

Hey, everyone. Since childhood -- and I really mean ever since as long as I can remember dreaming -- I've had frequent, horrific nightmares. Typically all unrelated, but each one is extremely hyper realistic...so much so that very often, I am unable to tell the difference between real life and dreaming until unimaginable carnage begins. These dreams are typically distressingly violent, and cause me to act out while sleeping. What are my options? I'm so tired of living like this

fav brands at decent prices? Redemption's Lumpy disappointed

Hey everyone, looking for advice with RSO. to get a couple things out of the way: Yes, edibles work for me. Once upon a time, only 20mg got me high but now I take 300mg every day to feel buzzed (have been eating them at this pace for the last year, literally daily) but can't keep up with the sugar content edibles have, on top of how pricey it can be. I had to heat it in nearly boiling water to get the cap off. Tried to play it safe with a rice grain size of RSO and felt nothing; eventually ended up taking a dose the size of a quarter. Mixed it in peanut butter and still nothing. I mean... I felt the littlest, tiniest bit of a buzz, but it was essentially nothing. Whole entire syringe was gone in a day -- Lumpy by Redemption. What am I doing wrong? I have a dairy allergy so I can't really mix the RSO with anything but peanut butter. Is my tolerance just too high? Do I need to switch to a different brand? Or am I eating it wrong?

Hey everyone, looking for advice with RSO. to get a couple things out of the way: Yes, edibles work for me. Once upon a time, only 20mg got me high but now I take 300mg every day to feel buzzed (have been eating them at this pace for the last year, literally daily) but can't keep up with the sugar content edibles have, on top of how pricey it can be. I had to heat it in nearly boiling water to get the cap off. Tried to play it safe with a rice grain size of RSO and felt nothing; eventually ended up taking a dose the size of a quarter. Mixed it in peanut butter and still nothing. I mean... I felt the littlest, tiniest bit of a buzz, but it was essentially nothing. Whole entire syringe was gone in a day -- Lumpy by Redemption. What am I doing wrong? I have a dairy allergy so I can't really mix the RSO with anything but peanut butter. Is my tolerance just too high? Do I need to switch to a different brand? Or am I eating it wrong?

Hey everyone, looking for advice with RSO. to get a couple things out of the way: Yes, edibles work for me. Once upon a time, only 20mg got me high but now I take 300mg every day to feel buzzed (have been eating them at this pace for the last year, literally daily) but can't keep up with the sugar content edibles have, on top of how pricey it can be. I had to heat it in nearly boiling water to get the cap off. Tried to play it safe with a rice grain size of RSO and felt nothing; eventually ended up taking a dose the size of a quarter. Mixed it in peanut butter and still nothing. I mean... I felt the littlest, tiniest bit of a buzz, but it was essentially nothing. Whole entire syringe was gone in a day -- Lumpy by Redemption. What am I doing wrong? I have a dairy allergy so I can't really mix the RSO with anything but peanut butter. Is my tolerance just too high? Do I need to switch to a different brand? Or am I eating it wrong?

I legitimately cannot understand why there isn't SOME type of law regarding strobe lights. Whenever I start talking about this, people immediately get their panties in a bunch by assuming I think strobes should be outlawed...NO. It would be so easy, and essentially cost nothing, to require all TV/film/venues/events/etc to show some kind of warning. It's the bare minimum? To at least let people with a disability know if they can access your content/event? I'm currently feeling extremely frustrated by trying to find a club that has photosensitive-friendly options in my area, and can't stop thinking about how much easier it would be to weed out my options if places could at least confirm or deny whether strobes are present

I have an unbearably extreme cold intolerance and I just don't know what to do about it. I have been wearing three pairs of pants/four sweaters almost every day and it's still not enough. it's like my body genuinely cannot produce or hold on to heat -- anything below 74° will make me so cold it's hard to move my joints. I live in a pretty cold area on top of it (it'll only be above 75° for like one month max) and I'm getting sick and tired of being miserable both in and out of the house. Is there some type of heated clothing or other warming alternative you guys recommend? (edited for typo)

I've noticed a few people on this sub mention their PwBPD turned to AI Chat Bots during tense times, like arguments...just wondering how common it's really becoming because it happened to me, too. My ex and I had a small disagreement in person, over something very small and inconsequential -- so insignificant I didn't even realize my ex was locking himself in the bathroom afterward (I just thought he was taking a bit longer to use the toilet). Suddenly I get a really long text message from him... And right in the first paragraph it literally said something like, "Sure, here's several reasons why you could feel this way about your partner's behavior:" so essentially he literally turned to ChatGPT, asked it to write up reasons to be upset, and copy/paste/sent it (I am openly against AI, and when they came out of the bathroom I asked why they would use a fucking chat bot to start an argument instead of just talking to me, and he straight up admitted he knew I'd be pissed if he did so). What is this?? Because they don't have literally anyone or anything else that will feed into their delusions???

One of the worst things my ex w BPD's therapist (who happened to also be my therapist) did was introduce him to the concept of Intent VS Impact. As I understand, it was explained to him as "even if you don't intend to bump into someone, the impact is unavoidable, and so you should apologize" and ever since then, our relationship was functionally impossible because he would begin demanding apologies for ANYTHING that even slightly upset him (sighing too loud, walking out of his sight in the grocery store, not responding quickly enough to a text while being at work, etc) because he was "impacted regardless of my intent." Whenever I would try to apologize, it would then become, "And exactly what are you apologizing for? And why are you sorry? Do you genuinely not want to do this again, or are you just apologizing to make me stop talking at you like this?" Every. Single. Time. Again, over the littlest things that my brain could never even predict being an inconvenience. But whenever I wanted an apology for the times he'd deliberately hurt me? He couldn't give one...because"it didn't happen that way/I don't remember that/I'm not going to give an apology for impact I don't understand/having BPD means I'm literally disabled in my brain so if you expect me to act different then you're being ableist." It was a nightmare, and I feel throughout the 5+ years of consistent therapy he had with her, the only thing he took away was how to grow his arsenal of weaponized therapy speak to avoid all real accountability for actual change

Absolutely crazy how my ex w BPD would pick at me for hours if I unintentionally upset them by not using an excited enough tone or breathing a little too heavy during a conversation, but I wasn't allowed to push back whatsoever on the way they'd scream, call me horrific names, and throw things because "BPD means you can't control your actions" and it's the "responsibility" of a nonBorderline (me) to pacify, forgive, and accommodate. I'll never forget when my ex said "if you were to scan my brain, it would look different, and that means I don't care if you would treat every other human being the exact same way in the situations I'm putting you through, because my brain difference is a disability and that means you have to accommodate me, which includes forgiving me for whatever I might say to you when I'm upset even if it's a really low blow"

Together for roughly a decade, and had to listen to him say he was constantly unhappy with me/our life for at least half of that time. Threw things, put hands on me for the littlest of reasons (walking too far out of his sight in public). We'd just resigned our co-owned lease when he quit his job and had me reconciling all of the bills and chores, but eventually he decided to finally break things off because there wasn't frequent kinky sex. He promised we could cohabitate and I stupidly believed him. We both saw new partners, and everything was going fine until his new situation started not working out. He literally got so jealous that I was able to continue seeing my new partner with no issues that he kicked me out. I kept paying the bills even after being displaced, and during this time he found out that I was going on another date with my new partner...to which he absolutely lost his fucking mind. A rageful meltdown lasting 18hrs straight where he demanded I show up to the leasing office so we could both sign him off and he could finally be done with me. He said he was going to pack up his things and move to another state, and I obliged with everything he said to a T. About a week has passed and he called me crying, freaking out because the person he decided to stay with stole his food/money and kicked him out, so now he is absolutely broke and homeless with no where to go...and it just blows me away, how someone could put themselves in a position like that for no reason?? He physically, emotionally, and financially threw away what we'd built together in 10yrs...I gave him everything he wanted, and it was never good enough, but even now he still expects from me and I will never understand how someone lives every day like that

After my ex w BPD kicked me out of the home I was paying for (but we co-owned), I was forced to move in with someone we knew mutually. Once my ex realized others would obviously have to be involved in my displacement, they tried welcoming me back. But it was such a dangerous environment that I declined. My ex then blew up my phone for 18hrs straight, saying I ruined their life by "not doing anything to clear their name of abuse." When I responded saying kicking someone out of a home they exclusively pay for is abuse, full stop, they backpedaled by saying it didn't count as "really" being kicked out because I was offered to come back...which to my ex essentially means "the request was rescinded." When I said you can't take back kicking someone out because it makes them feel fundamentally unsafe, they said my words made them feel unsafe. When I asked them what the Hell they were talking about because I didn't say or do anything out of line and I was scared, especially when hands had previously been put on me, they suddenly said they didn't remember anything that happened. And when I said their BPD wasn't an excuse... because I had to hear time & time & time again that "the reason it's called a disorder is because it's literally disabling since the outbursts can't be stopped and therefore should be forgiven" ... I came back with many resources/statistics about BPD healing and what's unacceptable -- then they responded by saying they "don't actually have BPD" despite a formal diagnosis ... I guess I'm just looking to vent and feel supported by others who have also been caught in the crossfires of their pwBPD winning gold in mental gymnastics, because the whiplash is so unbearable it's unreal

I was with my ex w BPD for nearly a decade and am currently navigating an extremely spectacular fallout. For at least half of this relationship, my ex set incredibly high relationship standards I could never achieve (maintaining all the chores of our home including pets and meals, working 2 jobs as the breadwinner, extremely frequent sex, and never emotionally faltering when my ex would have grandiose meltdowns) and constantly reminded me every time I did/said something that wasn't good enough -- my ex would always say I needed to do better (I'd literally been requested to be less tired while doing chores, to move us into a bigger home, to have more money for fun activities, to have kinkier and more frequent sex, and to understand that anything did to me when my ex was splitting couldn't be met with any resistance) or else our relationship wasn't any different than being around a friend, because romantic relationships necessitated these things. Almost weekly for the last two years I had to listen to them say I ruined their life, they hated me, and wanted to live a different life. At the beginning of the year, we mutually agreed to separate and see other people -- however, we co-owned our current lease. They promised we could have a peaceful living arrangement, which I foolishly believed... Their new partner didn't work out, but my situation was going just fine. This enraged my ex so much that they physically kicked me out of the home. We then agreed to have me live with my new partner, but continue paying for my ex to stay on the lease because I unfortunately couldn't afford to break it after my ex drained all of our savings. Things were fine like this until my ex found out I was on a date...and this completely enraged my ex. While I was on this date, they ended up packing all of their belongings and demanded I end things early so I could get them off of the lease. So I obliged...and through multiple inconveniences, they arranged to move across the country to live with family. I will spare the details, but I did try to tell them it wasn't a good idea to go about things that way since their family is pretty toxic...and now not only are they dealing with relationships they can't handle, but it turns out the home they were offered is essentially unhabitable. now they want to get back together but throughout this entire process, I just can't stop thinking about how there's no accountability and also no way to pacify my ex. Any time they make a poor decision, there is someone else to be upset at. And there's never anything that can be done to fill that hole of expectations...it feels like there's no consideration for the love behind what people do for a borderline -- all the borderline cares about is what's getting done for them, and how much they like the benefits. It's devastating to have poured so much into such a long relationship, only to feel like I have less than what I started it with