r/sleep

I've talked to a friend recently and he assures me he's been sleeping 5-6 hours every night ever since he was a kid.

I do believe him, but I find it fascinating since I feel like I'm going to fall apart every time I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep, and the older I am, the worse it hits.

I achieve a level of productivity at night that I never achieve.

For context, I live with my family and once they sleep I need to be careful. I put my phone outside before they sleep so I can't get it. I can't go outside to the living room and talk to anyone because everyone is sleeping and I also can't turn on the TV because it is loud.

After they all go to bed (Around 10pm) I can lock in. I do more from 10pm to 11 30 pm than I do from when I come home to 10pm. I try to do the same thing while they are all awake but I just get distracted and dont have that same pressure as night.

One thing that also adds on is the fact that I got this free little app to gamify my sleep and because of the streak and sleep score I always go to sleep by 11:30 pm, and then I have this pressure to finish all my work by then or else I lose my streak and my score becomes very low in Snooza. Before I would drag my work well after 1 am so I have improved a bit.

I guess you could say it's Parkinson's law, that the task takes as much time as you allot for it, and when I only have an hour and a half to do my work then it will only take an hour and a half to finish my work.

I was just wondering if anyone else goes through the same thing I do!

I have been struggling with sleep issues for quite some time, especially whenever I have an early morning reporting for my job. My psychologist labelled it as performance anxiety. What happens is that I get stuck in a loop of sleep anxiety — the more I cannot fall asleep, the more anxious I become. I start feeling physical symptoms like sensations in my chest and arms, and my mind keeps racing.

I have difficulty falling asleep, and even if I do fall asleep, I wake up anxious and then struggle to fall back asleep because I become worried about not sleeping again. The anxiety about sleep itself has become the main problem.

I have consulted multiple psychiatrists for this issue. Initially, I was prescribed trazodone, hydroxyzine, and propranolol. Trazodone and hydroxyzine were not suitable for me because they caused extreme next-day drowsiness and fatigue without helping my sleep much. During follow-up, the same psychiatrist prescribed mirtazapine. I took it for 3 days and had to stop because the next-day sedation and fatigue were unbearable. I eventually changed psychiatrists because I did not feel heard, and the doctor was not empathetic enough regarding follow-up and my concerns.

The next psychiatrist prescribed Dayvigo (lemborexant). It actually worked quite well for around 10–12 days, but then it seemed to stop working. That psychiatrist later prescribed mirtazapine again despite my previous experience, and I again stopped after one day because of the same severe side effects. I changed psychiatrists once more because I still felt unheard.

Recently, I consulted another psychiatrist. I explained my entire history and my concerns about previous medications and side effects. I genuinely thought this doctor would be more empathetic, but unfortunately, I felt dismissed again. I was prescribed paroxetine. Before taking it, I researched the medication and found many reports about difficult withdrawal effects and discontinuation problems. When I tried discussing these concerns with the psychiatrist, I did not feel taken seriously.

At this point, I feel exhausted trying to find a psychiatrist who actually listens and works collaboratively with me. I’m based in India, and I wanted to ask — has anyone else experienced this kind of sleep anxiety loop, where the fear of not sleeping itself becomes the main problem? Did any of you eventually find something that genuinely helped or cured it?

Also, what can I tell my doctor so that they actually listen to my concerns instead of just prescribing random sedatives? Due to my job, I cannot take benzodiazepines because of random drug testing. I need something that does not cause significant next-day drowsiness or fatigue and is not notorious for severe side effects or difficult withdrawal. I am completely okay with a slow and gradual treatment approach if it actually helps long term.

It's the second time I hear heavy breathing in my bedroom or outside my room in 1:08am, idk if it's something with me like sleep deprivation or something else.

Like normally small things roll off me, but when I sleep badly everything suddenly feels deeper, more stressful, or harder to deal with. Then after one good night of sleep I’m like “wait… that wasn’t even a big deal.”

Hey everybody,

I had terrible insomnia for years, I never had good sleep, but the last 7 years were terrible, and it got worse and worse and worse.

To the point that I only slept like 2-3 and I was mostly just "resting" in bed, mostly reading or just daydreaming. You could talk to me at nearly any point. After 1.5 years of this phase, there wasn't much left of me.

- Lost a ton of weight
- Constant pressure headaches
- Brain fog
- Terrible gut issue
- I was cramping all the time, and I was super stiff to the point that in the morning I walked on my toes because normal standing would hurt/stretch to much.
- I was completely lost and had these short phases where my body would just shut down.

In summary, it was a nightamre.

I went to the doc and he prescribed me amitriptyline (a mild antidepressant that is often used for sleep in low doses), which worked wonders. I finally slept "normaly" sort of and my gut improved. I gained 12 kg( around 25 lbs) but my sleep didn't feel refreshing.

After 1-2 years of using it my doctor said that I should reduce it, I went from 25mg to 20mg to 10mg and my sleep quality went to zero again.

I lost weight and felt terrible....

I went to a Hans Zimmer concered when I noticed I had some multivitamins that I never used. I just popped 2 and after 2-3 hours I felt "calm".

2-3 days I felt tired for the first time in 7 years. I wondering what this feeling even is?!

After 4-5 I started sleeping again because amitriptyline (and low B-Vitamins) cause bad REM-Phases + taking B6 causes vivid dreams.

The first few days I had the most exhausting and vivid dreams I ever had ! I woke and felt tired from sleeping. I felt into sort of a delrium. After 2 weeks I recovered.

What happend?

It turned out I have low B12 since childhood, and in my teens everybody forgot about it and it never got treated. Also doctors told me: Yeah your B12 is low, you should stop being Vegan. I told them I eat meat every day, but they didnt believe me.

Also I didn't know how bad low B12 can be for the body. I started to take B12 only, and after 4 weeks I felt invincible UNTIL I hit the wall again because you need all of the B-Vitamins. (To keep it simple they work together, also there are co-factors etc. )

I recommend taking a vitamin B-complex (I take a spray because my gut can't absorb it). Overall, my sleeping quality went from 1/10 to mostly 8/10.

I take amitriptyline only every few days (because I don't trust myself yet) but I also forget to take it sometimes (which before would never happen, even when I was drunk or busy).

Hi

(For context I’m male, 30 years old)

For the past few days I keep randomly waking up at the same time of 4:20-4:30am. Nothing is happening between these hours outside my house to wake me, and I have a pretty solid bladder so not an urge to go to the toilet or anything. Doesn’t matter if I go to bed at 10pm or midnight etc, I’ll still wake up at that exact time. I go to sleep fine, but just keep waking up. Even tried totally cutting out caffeine, to no avail. I don’t suffer from stress, anxiety or depression.

It‘s beginning to seriously annoy me now as I’ll wake up at that time and can’t get back to sleep for work in the morning! Any suggestions?

Thanks so much

Hello,
I wanted to share my story on insomnia and anxiety and see if maybe someone else out there could share on ways the overcame their anxiety/ insomnia. My insomnia started back in February after a night out of drinking and doing coke which i regret so much now. My insomnia has lasted over 2 months with weeks getting better, but it comes and goes. Well my anxiety was getting really bad when I started using alcohol for sleep and I would feel really bad hangxiety. I’m currently doing CBT-1 and taking trazadone for insomnia. My doctor also prescribed me on sertraline but I’m not sure if I should take it. Iv drinked for a long time and never had issues before with alcohol and anxiety so I’m concerned I’ll never be able to enjoy a drink without getting hanxeity and also concern I’ll never get back to normal. Any tips ?

i woke up and i was choking myself with my left hand… i’m not for sure even why it’s happened like 3 times and im trying to figure it out because it’s so scary it seems like im in a DEEP sleep and i woke up gasping for air then was confused as to why i was choking myself SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. my dream was not scary or anything

I’ve tried everything and still wake up sweating at 3am. Cooling mattress topper, fan, nothing seems to last the whole night.

I’m 29, I go to the gym 2–3 times a week, and I’ve been having a hard time falling asleep early. I work all day in front of a screen, but I already tried avoiding screens for 2 hours before bed and it didn’t help. I also bought melatonin + valerian supplements, but honestly I haven’t felt much effect.

My brain just can’t “turn off.

For the longest time I thought my bad sleep was just from stress or spending too much time at my desk. I’d wake up with a stiff neck and sore shoulders almost every morning even after getting a full night of sleep.
A few weeks ago I switched pillows after reading a bunch of discussions online and honestly the difference has been bigger than I expected. I ended up trying PlutoPillow and it feels way more supportive than the generic memory foam pillow I had before.
I’m sleeping more consistently now and not waking up constantly trying to readjust my position. Still kind of surprised a pillow could actually make that much difference.
Curious if anyone else here noticed a major improvement just from changing their pillow?

Hello there.

I'm struggling with si joint pain and lower back pain. I have learned to sleep on my back with legs risen knees bent to help with back pain, no pillow for my buffalo hump. it solved my buffalo hump and lower back pain, sorta... thing is si pain is getting worse from it. I was asking myself if adding the "lotus" position. Aka adding feet soles or whole feet together could help with the si joint. What do you think? Would too many fixes do more harm than good?

I (17F) don’t really think anything’s wrong, but my parents have repeatedly pointed out my sleeping habits. I’m just wondering if they may be right or if I’m just lazy.

I sleep around 3–5 hours daily during the day and around 6–7 hours nightly on weekdays. On weekends (when I’m not working), I tend to get around 10-12 hours of rest. Also, daytime sleep doesn't affect my nighttime sleep.

I mainly sleep during the day because I’m tired, but mainly because I just enjoy it. However, I’ve noticed that during naps I’m really hard to wake up, and my alarms don’t bother me, but I wake up easily in the morning.

Also, my sister has mentioned that I snore quite loudly. I tried recording myself sleeping, but other than faint breathing, I sound normal or hear very little snoring.

Finally, I've occasionally slept 17 hours straight but that very rarely, and I tend to wake up with a dry mouth. If I don't nap during the day, I just feel slightly more tired than usual but am otherwise fine.

I need advice, this has never happened to me before (40 year old man, in otherwise good health save for this onslaught of anxiety that is consuming me)

I posted earlier this week but on Monday night I couldn't sleep, went to every room in the house, no luck, next thing I knew it was 7:45 AM and my kids were running downstairs, I clocked ZERO (0) hours of sleep in a 26 hour cycle. The previous night too, probably only got 4-5 hours of sleep.

Couple this with the bacteria infection in my head, the toxic VOCs from the burning light we had earlier in the week (which is what really kick-started my anxiety) the neck/back pain, and the start of Flonase, I truly feel like this combo I'll one day look back on as the start of my path towards serious illness, cancer, ALS, Alzheimer's, etc.

It had to have done such damage, I don't know what to do :( so mad and scared and worried. I asked Google AI for studies and summaries about lack of sleep + infection combo to ease my fear and they only provided contradictory information that gave me more anxiety.

Tuesday night I laid down around10 PM, up at 11 PM. laid down at 11 PM up at Midnight.

Until, finally, I believe I slept from Midnight to 5 AM and then 5:15 AM to 7:45 AM and then 8:15 AM to 9:00 AM. So, I caught up a little.

But then it happened again last night, laid down at 10:30 after putting kids to bed, doing chores, no screens, etc.

Get my book and my wife again says just sleep in the guest room try to get some sleep.

I read until 11:30 unable to fall asleep. I finally fall asleep around midnight, then, boom, our youngest daugther has a nightmare...I've been up ever since.

That is twice this week I will have gone with 0 hours of sleep and twice on stretches of 36 hours wakefulness.

I'm so worried that I've ruined my life this week and my brain won't ever be able to clear this and set it back right. I also hurt my neck yesterday playing with the kids, which also made it harder to fall asleep, but also has me terrified of the combo of strained neck + no sleep and what that can equal for the brain.

Any real world perspective here. I need perspective that this is, while not normal, something that happens to people and they surive and don't look back on it as the start of cancer, or als, or Alzheimer's or the start of them losing their hair, etc. I'm terrified. and now worried, "what if it happens again tonight."

My boyfriend screamed bloody murder at 3am and I aged ten years in two seconds. i was dead asleep. I shot up, grabbed him, started shaking him awake telling him "hey, you're okay, you're awake" while my heart is somewhere in the ceiling. the next morning he told me he was in a dream where a group of women were feeding him fruit and sticks and told him he should scream.
He screams in the middle of the night like once every 6 months. It's so scary for ME. for him, he said sometimes it's terrifying dreams, and other times it's not (such as the dream last night). so weird. is there any way to stop night screams? it scares the crap out of me and disturbs MY sleep! thank you