u/WorkingWash5965

For those of you who were born and raised in Tennessee (or lived there most of your life) and eventually decided to relocate somewhere else do you regret it, or are you happier with your decision?
I’ve been saving and wanting to relocate for a while now, but starting over isn’t easy. Everywhere seems so much more expensive than where I’m at now and I’m just nervous that I won’t adjust to the new lifestyle, so I’ve been going back and forth with myself lately. Part of me start thinking, “maybe Tennessee really isn’t that bad,” but then I start to remember the reasons I’ve wanted to leave in the first place lol. But I really am ready to experience something different. Get away from the south and some of the more conservative environment. Explore a different quality of life, different types of people, different culture, and just a different environment overall. I’d also like to live somewhere recreational marijuana is legal, lol.
Do you feel like your quality of life improved? What do you miss about Tennessee? And if you could do it all over again, would you still leave?

Libra Sun
Gemini Moon
Virgo Rising
Virgo Mercury
Leo Venus
Leo Mars

I’ve been trying to research Dayton Public Schools, and I’ve searched this subreddit, but most of the posts I found are older or just mention that the schools are bad without really explaining why.
I’m hoping to hear from parents who actually have kids in Dayton Public Schools (especially)
Is it behavior problems? Bullying? Academics? Lack of resources? Teacher turnover? Administration?
Something else?
I’d like my daughter to attend a school with a diverse faculty as well as classmates, so if there are any elementary schools you’d recommend (or avoid), I’d love to hear.
I’ve also seen a lot of comments saying, “Just homeschool your kids,” but that’s not an option for me 😔 However, I’m very involved in her education, we read together, do worksheets, and practice at home during the school year and over the summer.
Sadly the elementary school she attends has become one of the lowest academically rated schools in my state over the last year or two, and it’s time for us to move on. But I DONT want to leave one bad situation just to end up in another. So even though the Dayton area is affordable, should I just probably think of another area or another state when it comes to schools?

I was hoping some locals could help me out. If I post a few of the streets or exact addresses I’ve found, would y’all be willing to tell me about those areas and whether they’re generally safe or if I should avoid them?
So for some context. I’m hoping to find a 2-bedroom for around $1,200 or less. I’ve found quite a few places in my budget, but I’ve also noticed that when rent seems too cheap, there’s usually a reason.
I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something clean, quiet, and safe for me and my daughter for the next couple of years. I’ll actually be spending about two weeks in the area soon, so I’m excited to get a feel for it myself.
Lost my husband about a year nd a half ago, so we’re just looking for a fresh start. I wanted to choose a place where housing wouldn’t eat up my paycheck so my daughter and I can spend more time traveling and making new memories.
I’m also considering the Columbus area, but Dayton really caught my attention because there seem to be a lot more single-family homes for rent, which I’d prefer. That said, I’m still open to apartments or townhomes.
For what it’s worth, I’m a great tenant and pretty much the definition of minding my own business. 😂 My daughter and I are homebodies, i work, she go to school, run errands, and enjoy parks and family-friendly activities.
Also, I’m a Black woman and my daughter is biracial, so I’d love to hear your thoughts on areas where we’d feel comfortable and welcome. I’ve read mixed things about some of the areas farther outside the city, might not feel as welcoming, but I don’t know how accurate that is. What are your thoughts on places like Kettering or Miamisburg? Are those areas generally welcoming for a small family?

I’m also thinking about renting through a property management company or rental agency instead of a private landlord. Does anyone have any agencies you’d recommend or any that I should stay away from? So these are some of the places I found listed below. These are a mixture of apartments and single homes:

Norman Ave
Fernwood Ave
N Marion st.
Elliot ave
Huffman Ave.
Mt. Hood
Athena St.
Gramont Ave
Altrim. Rd.
Genesse Ave
Runyon Ave
Upland Ave.
big spring ct.
w Bruce Ave.
grid dr.
Appleseed pl.
van Lear st.
Mundane ave.
Maple leaf dr.
Greencroft dr.
Niagara Avenue.
Harvard blv.
Oxford Ave
Windsor park.

I’m looking for a boring, slow-paced, affordable midsize or small city that’s diverse and not too far from a larger city. I’m not looking for anything luxurious or trendy, just somewhere basic, quiet, safe, and peaceful where someone can start over and live a simple life for the next few years.
I’d prefer to avoid the south since I already live here, but I’d be open to South Carolina or Georgia. I’m also definitely open to the midwest, although I’m not sure I can handle really harsh winters. I’ve heard great things about Michigan, but those winters might take me out😭 so does this place even exist lol? I’d love to hear your recommendations.

2012 Honda accord. 190k miles. No engine or transmission problems. Need rear brakes. Transmission mount. And maybe struts. Rebuilt title.

Before I got this job, I honestly thought I was going to love working for a family owned place. That hasn’t been my experience at all. It’s been pure chaos. It feels like there’s a new rule or a new way of doing things every single day. There’s always some kind of issue, and it seems like everyone wants to be the boss.
There are too many people giving directions. One person will tell you to do something, then someone else comes behind them and tells you to do it differently. It just keeps going back and forth, and it’s exhausting.
What frustrates me the most is the double standard. I’ve seen family members make mistakes, and nothing is said. But if I make one mistake, it’s treated like the biggest problem in the world. Also being talked to any type of way. And there’s no HR. No one to report to.

I’ve spent my whole life in the South, specifically Tennessee, so I know the culture is pretty different. Do you think someone like me would adjust well, or is it a big culture shock?
I’m also wondering if, when I first get there, I’ll probably think everyone is rude just because I’m not used to the communication style. I’ve heard people in Philly are more direct, and I’m curious if that’s something you eventually get used to or if it always feels harsh.
I am a very kind and nice person, probably too kind sometimes, lol but I’d like to think I have thick skin, but maybe I just haven’t really been in an environment that’s challenged it yet lol do you think I will have a hard time fitting in? I do plan on visiting, of course, before committing to the move.

Sooooo just curious or nosey if you will lol anybody out here happily living life with a couple of favorite lovers instead of one committed relationship? Like… y’all have your little roster, everybody knows what it is, there’s no drama, and you’re just enjoying life 😁
Please don’t turn this into a debate or tell me “you’ll change your mind” or “that’s lonely.” I’m genuinely curious and only want to hear from people who are actually living this lifestyle!!
How’s it been working out for you? Do you love it? Any regrets? I would love to hear from the older and a younger & men and women. So spill the tea. ☕

In about 3–4 months, I’m going to have to start making regular out of state trips for. It’s about an 8-hour drive one way, and I’ll likely be staying several days at a time. I’ll probably be making the trip once or twice a month.
I have an extra car, a 2012 Honda Accord with about 190,000 miles. It still runs and drives fine, but it does need some work. I’m planning to replace the starter next week, and it also needs struts, sway bar links, and transmission mounts. The steering feels a little stiff too, so I’m thinking I may need to address that soon. And the water pump has not been replaced, so that may be something that needs to be done soon.
I actually bought this Accord a couple of months ago for a good price because I was having issues with my main vehicle. But I’m wondering if it’s too late to catch up on the maintenance since I don’t know what the previous owner had done to the car. Like I said, it’s been driving fine, but I know it still needs maintenance. I just don’t want to spend all this money fixing it only for the engine or transmission to go out sooner than expected.
I’m trying to decide whether it’s worth investing in the Accord and making it my dedicated highway car or if I’d be better off just renting a car for long trips, even though I know that could get expensive pretty quickly.
I’m mainly asking because I’m curious if anyone here has owned this generation of Accord and taken it well past 200,000 miles on long trips .

My child is staying with a family friend about 7 hours away, and they’re not able to bring her back when they originally planned. I really need to go get her home before the 4th. I had plans with her on the fourth and they said they wouldn’t be able to bring her back until at least the 8th. I was thinking about letting her stay the extra days, but I’m ready to have my kid home nd she’s ready to come home 😭

So money is tight. I don’t want to take my personal vehicle because it currently has an oil leak, and my biggest concern is being stranded that far from home with my daughter. So my next option is a rental car, but I can only afford a rental for one full day, and it would need to be returned by around 6 p.m. the next day.

I’m hoping to pull together enough for a hotel or an extra rental day, but in the meantime I’m trying to plan for the most cost-effective option.
I’m looking at some very long driving days.
So Would you……
Pick up the rental Wednesday morning, drive 7 hours there, get her, and drive 7 hours back the same day
And return the car the next day?
Or pick up the rental Wednesday, leave around literally like 2 a.m Thursday morning pick her up maybe stop and get some breakfast and then make the 7-hour drive hoping to get there in time to return the car?
What would you do in my situation?

❕EDIT❕
I apologize for putting an age range in my original post. All ages are welcome 🤗🤎💜

I really am looking for genuine connections. If you comment, I’d love for you to be open to actually talking and getting to know each other, not just leaving a comment and moving on. 😊
Open-minded, friendly people. No MAGA, please. Just looking for people whose values align with mine.

So I’m NOT into the club/bar scene, but I’d love to meet some new people and try fun activities around Memphis. Things like:

Picnics at Shelby Farms or Overton Park
Cooking classes
A magician or illusion show (I’ve always wanted to go to one lol)
Theater productions and musicals
Comedy shows
Art exhibits or museum visits
Bookstores and coffee shop hangouts
Trivia nights
Pottery painting or craft workshops
Food festivals and local events
Escape rooms
Mini golf or bowling

Nothing crazy, just good company and fun experiences. Making friends as an adult can be weird sometimes, so I figured I’d see if anyone else is looking for the same thing🌻 Message me if you’re interested in some of these things!

I’ve made a list of everything that’s important to me, but I keep going back and forth. I’ll think I’ve found the perfect place, then I’ll research another city and think, No, this one fits my needs better. Then I find another one and start questioning everything again.
How did you narrow it down and finally make a decision? Did you visit multiple places before choosing? If so, how long did you stay in each location before deciding it felt right?
Also, what was the one thing you absolutely would not compromise on when choosing where to live?

Was the lack of sunshine a major issue for you, or did you get used to it pretty quickly? Did you ever have moments where you thought, “I don’t know if I can do this,” or was it not as bad as you expected?
And how about the winters?

Now I know you take yourself with you wherever you go lol, but I’m curious if anyone has experienced a move that genuinely helped them reset, grow, or reconnect with life. Maybe meet all kinds of people, more hobbies, more growth.

I’m working on this though But I’ve noticed that I don’t speak up when I’m supposed to. I tend to just let things flow and then regret it later. Does anyone else struggle with this, especially at this age?

So i live in Tennessee, and I only smoke maybe 2–3 times a week now. Ever since I started getting stuff from vape shops, I just haven’t enjoyed it as much. It’s like I get too anxious to enjoy it. I get way too much in my head.
THCA recently got banned in this state. Some stop selling it immediately nd some still do but now who even knows what half of us are smoking anymore lol. And it’s not like you get to choose either. It’s basically here’s the jar behind the counter. Or hoping your guy pulls through.
So people in legal states, is it actually nice being able to walk into a dispensary and buy gummies, edibles, lower doses, different strains, or am I romanticizing this whole thing lol ??

My 9-year-old daughter got the opportunity to spend a month out of state with family this summer. When I first told her, she was super excited. I asked her multiple times over the last few weeks if she wanted to go and every time she said yes.
Now that she leaves tomorrow, she’s starting to feel unsure because she knows she’s going to miss me, and honestly, I think me talking about how much I’ll miss her may have made it harder.

For context: it’s pretty much always just been me and her. I’m a single mom, we’re extremely close, and we really haven’t spent much time apart.
I also had so many things planned for us this summer, but life happened. Bills started getting in the way, I started having car issues, and financially things just aren’t where I hoped they would be. We could still do some local things together, but realistically this summer looks a lot different than what I originally planned.
The alternative I had lined up was summer learning/programming even though she doesn’t really need it academically nd her teacher even said she’s doing great. But realistically, as a single mom who has to work, I also can’t leave a 9-year-old home alone all summer.
Part of me thinks this experience could be so good for her giving her a fun summer, family time, new experiences, and a little independence. The other part of me wonders if I’m pushing too hard. I don’t wanna force her to be or go anywhere she doesn’t want to and also she’s never stayed with this family member ever before, nd not this long. And she’s never stayed out of state before.
So parents… do I encourage her to go even if she’s nervous and homesick beforehand? Or if she’s unsure now, do I not make her go?

Please be kind because I’m genuinely struggling with this one 😭

I’m a Black woman and I love being Black. I have NEVER wanted to be anything else. Even growing up around mostly white people, I never wished I was different. I do love my people.
But I need to vent because living in a predominantly Black area that feels like chaos is making me resent the environment around me and I hate feeling like this.
And just to clear something up, the only reason I mention “my people” is because that’s what I am and that’s primarily who I’m surrounded by where I live. I’ve lived around different kinds of people before. But I know this is less like a race thing and more like an environment/mindset thing. Poverty, chaos, lack of pride in the community. 😞
So I’m speaking on MY environment and MY experience because that’s what I’m surrounded by every day.

I am quiet. I’m reserved. I’m very clean. I like to think that I carry myself respectfully. And no, I don’t think I’m better than anybody. Trust me lol
But I feel so out of place where I live that it’s starting to affect me mentally.
There is trash everywhere. And I don’t mean occasionally. I mean I have literally picked up trash not only in my own yard but on the actual street, because I get tired of looking at it, and somehow the next day there’s more. People just throw their shit out! Not even in their own garbage can.
And to give y’all an idea, this isn’t some huge apartment complex. It’s duplexes. If you drove through here, you could probably immediately tell which porch is mine because my area is the clean one. I clean up after myself, pick up trash, and actually care about how my space looks.
Also the loud extremely vulgar music is driving me insane. I’m not talking about somebody driving by with music loud for 10 seconds. I mean people who don’t even live here coming over blasting music late at night.
Kids constantly roaming around knocking on doors asking for money or random stuff. And before anybody says anything, no, I’m not blaming children. I’m talking about parents that genuinely do not seem to know or care where their kids are.
Going to groceries and somebody is loudly arguing.
And attitudes everywhere. Constant negativity.
I have a coworker who isn’t from here and doesn’t even live here. They live in another town but work here, and they constantly talk about how much they hate coming here and how different the environment feels compared to where they’re from.
They’ve mentioned noticing the same things I notice at stores, gas stations, even the damn post office lady is hateful as fuck lol and just everyday interactions. He’s actually planning on leaving too because they can’t stand it.
So sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s not just me being dramatic or negative.
And before anybody says “just move,” trust me, if I could just get up and leave tomorrow, I would. But I can’t. I’m trying to figure something out financially, but I’m not in a position to just pack up and go right now. But I’m TRYINGGGGG !! And eventually I will 1000%
But when I tell people that I’m mentally struggling because of my environment, people act like I’m making excuses. Environment absolutely affects people.
After my divorce I moved here because I needed somewhere affordable and fast. I should’ve done my research! I know 🤦🏾‍♀️ so I blame myself also. But When I first moved here it was older people. Quiet people. Then people moved, passed away, new people moved in, and now it feels like chaos all the time.
And honestly? I’m exhausted.

Am I wrong for feeling like this?

Also, I would love to move somewhere more diverse. I actually want to still see PLENTY of my people, just maybe in a different environment and around different lifestyles🤎