How did you decide where you actually wanted to live?
I want to ask how you all decided where to live, because I feel like I’m currently suffering from analysis paralysis and I genuinely don’t know what the right decision is.
I’m coming up to 30, and I’ve lived in Kent for the majority of my life, although I’m originally from Sussex, namely Seaford, which I absolutely love. I love the beaches, the cliffs, the South Downs, etc.
My dad still lives there but most of my family and friends are in Kent though, and so is my job. Having said that, my job does have offices in Sussex, so I could potentially request a move to one of those. I’d be a little bit hesitant to do that though as I’ve already moved office once before when I moved up to London to be with my boyfriend for a while, and he’s since moved back down to Kent with me because it was just a lot easier for us being closer to family to help out with our dogs, and not having to commute via train to London is a blessing. I feel like asking again would be seen as a bit of a p!sstake haha.
We’re now looking at buying somewhere, and this is where I’m really struggling. Kent is lovely, and realistically we could look anywhere from Thanet down towards Folkestone, and some of the more rural areas in between. Part of me thinks we should just buy somewhere in Kent, because this is where our family, friends and jobs are, and it would be the sensible option.
But another part of me is really worried about buying in Kent when my heart is still so much in Sussex. I keep thinking about Seaford and how much I love it, but then I wonder whether that’s just me being whimsical and romanticising it.
We’re currently renting and I really hate paying rent every month when that money could be going towards a mortgage and building up some equity. I also want to have a baby within the next couple of years, so ideally I don’t want to be doing that in rented accommodation. I’ve always had it drummed into me by my parents that renting is basically throwing money away, so there’s definitely some of that influencing me too.
But then there’s another part of me that thinks, why am I even limiting myself to Kent or Sussex? I sometimes think I’d love to just move somewhere completely new, like Scotland, Devon or Cornwall, and start a bit of a new life somewhere. I’ve lived abroad before when I was younger (Australia and New Zealand, as well as travelling around Asia), so the idea of moving somewhere completely different isn’t totally foreign to me.
And then, of course, there’s the flip side of that. I don’t want to move somewhere miles away and barely see my family. I know I’d really struggle with that.
It feels like I have so many possible lives I could choose from that I’m struggling to choose any of them. The second I think about buying somewhere, I immediately think, but what if I actually want to live somewhere else? And the idea of buying somewhere almost makes me feel a bit claustrophobic, like I’m suddenly shackling myself to that place forever.
At the same time, I know you have to make decisions at some point and put down some roots. Even my dad has basically said to me, you’ve got to make a decision eventually; you can’t always be this indecisive.
So I’m really interested in how other people decided where they wanted to live. Did you choose somewhere based on family, career, lifestyle, affordability, where you grew up, or just a gut feeling? And did you ever have that feeling of “but what if I choose wrong?”
I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar position around 30, particularly if you were deciding between staying close to family and moving somewhere that you felt more drawn to.
How did you actually make the decision?
TLDR: I am on the verge of looking into buying a home and have analysis paralysis between Kent, Sussex, and beyond (Scotland/Devon), because I’m petrified of shackling myself down somewhere where I’ve spent majority of my life and regretting it, whilst being able to acknowledge that being close to friends and family is so important in life!