my boyfriend openly looks at women’s bodies and comments on them. Im feeling disrespected but he doesnt get it?
My boyfriend sometimes comments on other women’s bodies (like their boobs) or openly notices them in a sexual way. I’ve told him multiple times that this makes me uncomfortable and feels disrespectful in a relationship.
Recently, he has been travelling in Japan and said things like he saw “so many nice boobs.” When I told him that this is sexualizing women and makes me uncomfortable, he kept defending it. He said it’s not his fault because women dress a certain way and he is tall so he naturally notices it.
When I try to explain my feelings, he says he just notices and thinks “wow” and then moves on, and that it’s not sexualizing. But to me, it still feels like sexual objectification.
He also says he can’t and isn’t planning to stop it because he is “not doing anything wrong.” However, I feel like wandering eyes alone is incredibly disrespectful in a relationship, and it feels like he doesn’t take my feelings into consideration.
Sometimes he tries to lighten the situation by saying things like mine are nicer or saying “I love you” in the middle of the argument, but I still feel disrespected and dismissed.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is actually a valid boundary issue in a relationship. Is it normal for me to feel disrespected by this?