this is just a love letter to weed since i havent been able to smoke for like month or two (which granted isnt that long but the problem is idk when ill be able to get more) i miss it so much 💔💔 i mainly used it to help control my thoughts, and to help me relax. thats about it
my cousin died not too long ago, like less than month. he died the day after i moved to another state. i keep thinking how i never got to see him, the last time i saw him was christmas. he was 25. im turning 20 this year an for the first time i understand how young 20s-30s are. he really wasnt that much older than me. i never kept that much in contact. i never got to say how much i loved him, no matter the distance, or difference in age. i went to his private viewing yesterday, my first time ever seeing a dead body. and jesus christ. he should never be that pale. he was always so happy, so party animal-ish. he shouldve never been like that. i guess im just writing this to say, i miss you, D. i miss you so fucking much and im so fucking sorry i never said anything while you were i alive. im so sorry. im so fucking sorry. i dont really believe in god or heaven but jesus christ i hope you're in a better please. please be in a better please. please. i love you, D. im sorry i never mentioned it, im sorry we never got to even have these conversations. im sorry we never got to be drunk or smoke tg, to have holidays together. i think ill miss you for a long time, D. i love you. i think ill miss you forever. if you're with our papaw, please tell him i love him too, if thats even a thing.