Perspective from a Dad that filed
TL;DR: it could be much worse, so be thankful it’s not.
After a year and a half of reflection and being on Reddit, I consider my self lucky because I was able to escape the depression and the feeling sorry for myself.
Life is hard taking care of two kids on my own even if it’s only half the time because I was a weekend dad before that. But no matter how hard it is, it’s so much better than it was when I was married.
My STBXW basically forced me to file. I was trying to keep the family together after I caught her in an EA. It took me three months to realize she did not want to be married to me anymore and that she was basically forcing me to file. I went through an emotional roller coaster during those three months as she begged me not to divorce her at first, but then continued to talk to the AP and would openly flirt with other men in front of me.
After filing, Reddit helped me realize that better men than me were cheated on and went through worse than I did. It gave me perspective.
So, for those of you that are still depressed and angry that your wife left, I urge you to have some perspective. It could’ve been much worse. She could have made life a living hell before filing. Not just for you but for your children as well. She would’ve done this because she wanted you to file because she didn’t have the guts to end the marriage and she did not want to be blamed for ending the marriage. So, now everyone thinks you’re the villain.